Hey, remember the time when Archie wanted to make absolutely sure he had a date for the dance? So he asked Betty and Veronica and Midge, figuring at least one would say yes? And they all accepted? And he ran himself ragged keeping them separated at the dance? And Big Moose wanted to beat his ass?

Well that's what I've gone and done here. The Taste of Chaos Tour is coming to town and I rang Atreyu and Avenged Sevenfold's people for an interview, figuring one would confirm.

They both confirmed.

So what the hell? I talked with both. I just didn't tell either one about the other; don't want any hurt feelings. I don't want Big Moose - or in this case, Big Dan - beating my ass.

The Rockstar Taste of Chaos Tour features eight heavy hitting bands of the new generation of heavy rock. These bands have deconstructed metal, arena rock, and even punk, and made a new monster. It's more agile than pure metal, less indulgent than arena rock, and more complex than punk. In many cases this new rock trumps the energy of all these components.

And at the top of this Chaos heap stand Orange County's Atreyu and Avenged Sevenfold. Both bands have risen above the mere Frankenstein of various musical elements and produce cohesive sounds that unmistakably belong to them, and them alone. They don't sound like everybody else who sounds like everybody else.

Atreyu

Big Dan Jacobs is the 80's-inspired half of Atreyu's twin-guitar attack. His upper register harmonics and dive-bombing whammy bar give a retro root to the band's contemporary frontier. He loves the Me Decade.

"I just think life was better back then," Jacobs says. "Everything was bigger and better and louder."

I should point out, however, that Jacobs was born in 1982.

"Yeah, I kinda missed it," he says. Yet Jacobs is going one step further with the creation of his own 80's-inspired clothing line, Rokk Clothing.

The Big 80's ooze out of Jacobs' amp on Atreyu's latest disc, "Lead Sails Paper Anchor." But the band is growing and outgrowing its own definition.

"With this record," he says. "I don't want to say we threw everything out the window, but we didn't want to do anything exactly like what we had done in the past. We had this structure, the way we'd do all our songs. You know, scream the verse, sing the chorus. We didn't want to do that again, even to the extent of taking influence from bands we were afraid to be influenced by."

This included the music of Jacobs' beloved decade; you know, like RATT, Poison, and Yngwie Malmsteen.

"It was something I always wanted to put in, but that my band was a little afraid of," he says. "We just said, ‘Whatever feels good, let's do it.'"

The change is winning - and losing the band - some fans.

"With every record we put out, people love it and hate it at the same time," he says. "With every record we've been called sellouts, and every record people think it's our best one. It comes with the game."

Avenged Sevenfold

Avenged Sevenfold embodies the threat and allure of straight-up rock star swagger. All the bands on this tour are passionate artists, with the stage as a culmination or outlet. But A7X - as the band is known to its fans - comes off as a band that lives the life offstage as well. This is the heaviest, catchiest band on the line-up. And when the finger-pointing begins over destroyed hotel rooms, groupie hijinx, and chemical excess, it'll all likely come around to this band. Its members look, sound, and act the part of rock stars. Not the bitchy, high-colonic, do-nothing hacks that try to pass themselves off as rock stars, but the genuine tattooed, black leather menace that is missing from rock 'n' roll.

"We're just doing our own thing," says bassist Johnny Christ. "I think our confidence is sometimes looked upon as rock-star mentality."

Delinquency - real or inferred - aside, A7X is one of the best at balancing rhythmic speed and brutality with melody. Christ says it comes naturally.

"When we over think a song, it usually doesn't turn out and it ends up getting scrapped," he says. "If you just let it come out naturally, you'll have that mixture."

Avenged Sevenfold's pure rock thunder is perpetuating this new rock pantheon. There are legions of fans too, many sporting the band's flying skull logo.

And hard as it is to believe, Christ and the boys have recently taken up golf as well. Golf. If their influence so far is any indication, kids with flying skull tattoos may soon be showing up on the links, swinging nine irons and frightening the squares.

"That'd be pretty cool," Christ says.