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Is it the Dope or is it the Bong?

Published on 02/08/09 - 0 Comments

Is it the Dope or is it the Bong?

Is anyone else perturbed by the rabid salivating of the South Carolina judicial system peaked to frenzy at the prospect of pillorying Michael Phelps for smoking marijuana? This particularly ham-fisted judicial system proclaims from the nosebleed section of its moral superiority--clearly the best angle to garner a spotlight in the media--that Phelps has broken the law and must be punished. But is it really the dope? Or is it the image of Michael Phelps--American hero--hovering over a bong that has filled the air with the smell of celebrity blood?

Like many Midwestern and southern states, South Carolina blithely sanctions thousands of deaths annually from exposure to second and third-hand smoke in public places. Smokers in this part of the country are routinely given carte blanche to indulge their addictions, and will indignantly defend their right to do so. On any given day, thousands of nicotine addicts arrive at restaurants with small children emerging from cars that billow smoke sufficient to cure pork and yet, this is all perfectly legal. Smokers satisfy their drug cravings several times a day, and unlike Michael Phelps who only pushed the drug into his own lungs, they force nonsmokers to partake in their drug of choice every time the get a fix.

A twenty-seven year old mother with a cigarette hanging from her lips can dig into her purse and extract an inhaler for her wheezing asthmatic five year old with the full support, nay the blessing, of the both the legal system and, of course, the tobacco company that worked over time to help her prioritize her addiction over her child’s welfare. This same legal system now howling for Phelps, head for hurting only himself (if anyone) routinely condones the destruction of a child’s inalienable right to breathe. The corporate, political and judicially protected pimping of tobacco to make a greasy buck renders Phelps’s bong puff harmless by comparison. Of course, the law states that an individual has to be an adult to smoke cigarettes, but someone should tell that to that kid sucking alternately on his mother’s second-hand smoke and his inhaler.

There is the argument that, unlike cigarettes which are the source of a host of illnesses that have burdened the health care system to the point of collapse, marijuana actually benefits society, often prescribed in more progressive states to relieve the nausea suffered by cancer patients after a particularly grueling chemotherapy treatment. It is almost surreal that Phelps would be so heavily penalized for smoking a drug that is actually used to alleviate nausea induced by chemotherapy--a treatment prescribed for cancer--cancer often caused by smoking. Following the thread of logic that has put Michael Phelps into the spotlightâ€"that notion that smoking marijuana is bad because it is illegal and it is illegal because it promotes experimentation with more dangerous drugsâ€"one can only conclude that smoking, say, Marlboro Lights for instanceâ€"the first link in the lung cancer-chemotherapy-nausea-marijuana chainâ€"may lead to a crack cocaine or crystal methamphetamine addiction.

The punishment that Michael Phelps is going to receiveâ€"the loss of millions in product endorsementsâ€"does not fit the crime he is alleged to have committed. Like many young people his age, he partied with people he thought he could trust, including the Judas who sold him out for thirty pieces of silver. The difference in what he did and what thousands of young peopleâ€"some who go on to be President of this countryâ€"do every day is that he is famous. If Phelps had been drinking and driving, the authorities, based on current trends, would have likely given him a warning and let him slide. This intense pursuit of Phelps by those in authority has more to do with who he is than what he is alleged to have done.

This case isn't about innocence or justice. It's about opportunism, and the hypocrisy that is inherent in the legal system. These investigators so rabid to destroy a world class athlete’s career would be the first in line to take a hit from that same joint after one grueling chemotherapy treatment. While it would pose a similar threat to Phelps’ shot at a fortune in endorsements had he been photographed kicking back with a long neck, smoking an unfiltered Camel, these same South Carolina investigators and half of the country would have pulled up a chair and joined him.

But don’t ask the folks at the South Carolina Sheriff’s office to wrap their minds around the unfairness of Phelps' persecution for indulging in a moment of youthful folly. They’re all taking a moment to inhale their next dose of nicotine in a bong-free legally and socially sanctioned mass drug orgy known as the smoking break.