It is with great shame that I admit this to you: I have become a "Big Brother" addict. For years I've shunned CBS' summer reality staple. I was burned by Season 1 --- so boring, so pointless, so predictable (of course the guy with one leg won!). Since then I've caught bits and pieces, underwhelmed by nearly every "houseguest," all of whom seem to be the least pretty, least talented, least interesting contestants in all of reality TV.

But damn if this season hasn't gotten me. It's not the twists --- the "secret enemies" (three houseguests were shocked to find out that their sworn enemies from real life had joined them in the house) or America's Player, Erik, who gets secret orders from the viewing public. It's a couple of the guests themselves, as well as the sheer stupidity that overwhelms every episode that has me begging for more.

Last night's episode was a prime example. It was eviction night, as two houseguests --- Erik and Oregonian housewife Kail --- were up for the boot. This was all due to the maneuverings of Daniele, the bleach-blonde, over-tanned, rabbit-toothed ingénue of the house who pulled strings to boot Erik after she deduced that he was responsible for the ousting of her "showmance" Nick last week. The episode featured a variety of flashbacks showing various housemates switching sides on their votes in response to various manipulations by other housemates, and ultimately ended with Kail going home after three weeks of being on the block as sacrificial lamb.

Standard reality fare. But here's what's so great about "Big Brother": The entire movement to get Erik thrown out stemmed from two things. The first was an airplane dragging a banner across the sky last week that said that Erik was a liar (the show is happening live, right now) and that he and Amber were responsible for Nick's ouster. The second is Daniele's insane logic that somehow added up that Erik had been starting a secret conspiracy to get Nick booted from Day 1.

The problem with this scenario: Erik was one of two people that voted to keep Nick in the house last week. Everyone else --- including Daniele and Amber, who spent the week screeching that Nick was set up --- VOTED NICK OUT. And yet it is somehow Erik's fault that he went home.

It's this type of inanity that makes "Big Brother" unlike any other reality show on TV; typically editors would cut out stuff this stupid, or at least fashion it into a package that seemed even remotely logical. But since "Big Brother" is live there's no time for that. American stupidity is on grand display, and my goodness is it a sight to see.

As I mentioned, this season also has a couple outstanding houseguests. Daniele is one; at first she was sympathetic since her "enemy" is her father, the raving lunatic known as Evel Dick. (Seriously, that's the name he goes by.) Dick will go down as one of the most repugnant characters in reality history, bossing and harassing all the women (and most of the weaker men) with his irrational snarling. But Daniele's not doing so well herself, as her temporary position of power this week as Head of Household (the person responsible for nominating the two houseguests up for eviction) has shown her to be a dim, manipulative shrew who's much more like her father than I imagine she'd like.

But Dick and Daniele are nothing compared to the glory that is Amber. I desperately hope Amber stays on this show to the bitter end. Not because I want her to win the $500,000 --- that would make me sick --- but because she is fascinating to watch. Amber has created a new reality show stereotype: the righteously indignant crackhead. Recovering crackhead, apparently (she really was a drug addict for years), but given her behavior in the house I'm not so sure about that "recovering" part. Amber spent the first several weeks sobbing. All the time. Sobbing about this, sobbing about that --- it's amazing she didn't dehydrate. And y'all, this was some UGLY crying.

This week, however, she got even uglier, as she became the swing vote in the Erik/Kail expulsion. Prior to this week Amber and Erik were extremely close, part of the same alliance. (Don't forget, they were both fingered by that airplane banner.) But one word from Evel Dick and that bond just *poof!* went away. Evel Dick told Amber that weeks ago Erik had told him that he wasn't concerned about Amber coming after him (Erik) since she had told him a terrible secret from her past that, if it got out to the house, would alienate her from everyone there. Note that he never said what this secret was. But it doesn't matter to Amber that Erik didn't tell her secret. The very fact that he told someone in the house that she had a secret was enough to set her off, and in this episode she went on a hysterical, screaming hissy fit castigating him for using something she told him "in confidence" against her.

Um, hello? Where are you? What are you doing? This is not "The National Tiddlywinks Hour." This is not "America's Next Top Best Friend." This is freaking "Big Brother," and the name of the game is knocking out your housemates until one of you is left to collect a huge sum of money. What did you think he was going to do with this information? Never! Never have I seen such brazen stupidity, or such a stunning lack of self-awareness on TV.

She also goes into a long speech about how much she loved and trusted Erik, and about how she hates him now. She conveniently leaves out the part about how this week the cameras caught her launching into a five-minute diatribe about how she hates Jewish people because they're "sneaky" and "money-grubbing." Seriously. And she wondered aloud if Erik is Jewish, saying the word in a hushed, scandalous tone typically reserved for curse words. But she loved Erik! She never said anything bad about him! And she never once lied to anyone in this house (except when she didn't tell Nick he was up for eviction, OR that she was voting to oust him). Amber is amazing.

But actually, Dustin is more amazing. I love Dustin. Not because he's kind of cute, but because he plays this game the way he should: like it's a game. Amber is his "closest friend" in the house (you can tell that he loathes her) and in a beautiful moment this episode she tells him that they need to get their alliance partner Erik out, but she can't vote for him since she swore on her daughter's life that she wouldn't (HA! I love that reality show convention!). But she's out of her mind insane, and tells Dustin --- who does not want Erik out --- that if he votes her Erik instead of her, she can keep her word. Dustin promises to vote Erik and out and promptly votes for Kail instead, and then lies to the house to cover his double-dealing. HA HA HA!

I love this show. Forgive me, America!