Last night Donald Trump's reality show, "The Apprentice," returned for a seventh season with a twist, a cast filled with "celebrities" playing for charity. I used to love "The Apprentice" in its early seasons. While nothing lived up to the intense, dog-eat-dog drama of the first season, its follow-ups included a handful of memorable applicants and all sorts of cringe-inducing, schadenfreud-tastic moments (No. 1: S2's Ivana pulling down her skirt in the middle of New York City to sell a candy bar). But the show went downhill fast, and I called it quits after the infuriating conclusion to Season 4, when supposed nice guy Randal dicked the awesome Rebecca out of a job just to be a petty show-off. I caught parts of Season 5, but it was pretty much a joke.

"Celebrity Apprentice" has jettisoned many of the ridiculous trappings that made the last season, set in L.A., a critical and ratings pariah. There's no "haves" or "have nots" (the losing team last year was forced to live in a tent, the winners in a mansion). It's back in New York, where the show obviously belongs. Unfortunately Carolyn and George are still out as Trump's viceroys, replaced by Trump's own kids, Ivanka (who is admittedly awesome) and Donald Jr. (who is even more of a chump than his dad).

The "celebrities" in question range from legitimately famous has-beens - Gene Simmons from KISS, "Taxi" star Marilu Henner, ex-supermodel Carol Alt, country star Trace Adkins - to the totally unfamous never-weres - Playboy Playmate Tiffany Fallon, Telemundo exec Nely Galan, "America's Got Talent" judge Piers Morgan, and actors/professional reality TV stars Stephen Baldwin and Vincent Pastore. There are also a bevy of sports stars, including boxing champ Lennox Lewis, Ultimate Fighting Champion Tito Ortiz, softball player Jennie Finch, and gymnast Nadia Comaneci, who literally didn't say a WORD last night.

The most exciting member of the cast is Omarosa, the "villain" from the original "Apprentice" who did a lot to make that show so memorable. Since then Omarosa has been a member of "The Surreal Life" and appeared on assorted other reality shows, including "I Love New York." Omarosa is well known as a crazy bitch, but the bottom line is that she's smart, tough, and compulsively watchable. The minute she's gone I'll probably give up the show again.

That's because, while it was an improvement over the last couple seasons, it still wasn't great. The celebs don't really care about whether they win or lose, and they lack the desperation that makes the regular applicants so fun to watch. We're unlikely to get any full-scale meltdowns because they already have their own gigs. However, we might get some diva behavior, and we got a touch of it last night from Omarosa, Carol, and Piers.

The teams were split up by gender, chose team names (women: Emprasario; men: Hydra), and tasked with selling hot dogs. Stephen took the lead for Hydra, Omarosa for Emprasaro. (And I thought she did a great job.) I was surprised by how oddly charming Gene Simmons was. He's a very weird dude, and I don't think he'll last long because Trump won't have a clue what to make of him. But underneath that hideous helmet of hair and ridiculous shades was an endearing nutbag who got shit done. I was also surprised by how much I instantly hated Pastore. He's awfully full of himself for a guy who was on "The Sopranos" for two seasons like 10 years ago, and since then has become a reality TV joke, dropping out of (I believe) both "Celebrity Fit Club" and "Dancing with the Stars." He's an idiot. And Piers Morgan has no right to attack Omarosa for being a nobody; most people will be surprised to discover that he's not actually Simon Cowell, whose act he has completely lifted for his third-rate summer show.

In the end the right person got the boot (Tiffany will not be missed), and there were a couple people I found myself rooting for (now when I think of Marilu Henner I'll remember her outstanding salesmanship, and not her literary appeals for my poop to be floaters, not sinkers). I'll watch the next episode. But it's still nowhere near the "Apprentice" of yore. I guess that's why we've got DVD players...