The good news: the boys didn't suck nearly as hard as they did last week. The bad news: I'm fairly sure that we're going to lose at least one guy who deserves to stay.

Phil "Nosferatu" Stacy opened the night with "Missing You," and for the first time in the competition did not completely biff the opening of a song. Sad that our standards have fallen that far, but there you go. It's fine, but ultimately just very good karaoke --- there is nothing "star" about Phil whatsoever. And for the record, I wrote that before Simon parroted every word I said. HA!

Jared Cotter decides to be "adventurous" and sing Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get it On." How this standard is adventurous, I do not know. But Jared just Xeroxes the performance off Marvin, down to every screech and whoop. If this was Celebrity Impersonator Idol he'd have a shot. But he brings nothing new to this song, and even gets a little flat in parts.

A.J. Tabaldo makes what I think is a fatal error in picking a) a song I've never heard of and b) a song with a slow, boring, and unending intro that he doesn't sing particularly well. When he eventually gets to the crux of the song he's really good again, and he looks much cuter than last week. He also shows he can legitimately sing, with quite a range. But I think that awful intro plus the WHO? factor might have just sealed poor A.J.'s fate.

Chris Sligh surprised me with his rendition of "Trouble." I had no idea he was that good of a singer. The song itself is kind of boring, but he sings it beautifully. He dedicates it to his very hot wife, and I totally did not see that little fact coming. But I think she may hate him given how totally unmoved she was during the performance. To me, Chris was the best of the night.

Sanjaya Malakar continues his high school talent show of the damned by trotting out a pathetic version of the standard "Steppin' Out" (not the Joe Jackson version, unfortunately). I have watched this show for four seasons and have never seen anything like Sanjaya. It looks like he simply could not care less to be there. He just kind of walks around the stage mumbling. The supposition is that the kid has crippling stage fright, but at this stage that's not an excuse. Either do the job you elected to do, or step aside so some other gay-ish kid had a shot. But Sanjaya is almost certainly safe, as he has been adopted by American's pre-teen girls, making this John Stevens, Part II: Again With the Hair.

Nick Pedro sings "Fever," a song almost as boring as he is. (What is everyone's fascination with that song? It's really not that good.) Nick's slight voice fits the song well, all timid cooing. But again, there's no star quality here. He's instantly forgettable. Simon mentions his "charisma problem," which is perhaps best exemplified by Nick's non-ironic usage of a 3-year-old catch phrase, Vote for Pedro.

Blake Lewis sings Jamiroquai's "Virtual Insanity," and it's a better fit for his voice than the Keane song last week, but doesn't allow him to do anything interesting. He essentially copies Jay Kay's vocals note for note, and then throws in some beatboxing. I blame the latter solely on Randy, who advocated for him to include it in every song. No. Blake is easily one of the three weakest male vocalists here and he has to work on that or he'll be Ace Young'd in no time. And he's too pretty to have that happen. Also, nice butt.

Brandon Rogers plummets in my estimation by singing the most boring version of "Time After Time" ever conceived, and then acts like it's the lost Psalm or something because it's so powerful and meaningful. Brandon, it's a Cyndi Lauper song. Get over yourself. When he's called out for being dull (not to mention that his nasal voice doesn't fit the song at all) he gets argumentative and starts speaking Abdul-ese about how he "sang his heart" or some BS. Shut up, Brandon. I liked you, but two crap weeks in a row has you hanging by a thread.

Chris Richardson's skin has cleared up (thank goodness!) but he quizzically chooses to sing Jason Mraz's "Geek in the Pink." It is an upbeat tune, and a better fit for his voice than the McGraw song last week. But it's a stupid song. Really, really stupid. Just these hyper-fast lines with no real singing required. And he's not even on the beat for most of it. But halfway through I realized that he's lucky that singing isn't required here, as he's probably the weakest vocalist, guy or girl. Just alarmingly small voice. He gets swallowed by the song in parts, and when you get swallowed by Jason Mraz you're in trouble. The judges call it best of the night. They are all on crack.

Sundance F'ing Head gets the pimp slot and sings "Mustang Sally." Forget what I said about "Fever"; this is the stupidest song ever written. The same line repeated five or six times, laconic chorus. Bleh. Perfect for Sundance, though, as all he has to do is scream, and that's really the only weapon in his arsenal. He even manages to do it in tune this week! The judges fall all over themselves about him, and it's such a joke, because you want to talk about karaoke, that exact rendition of that song can be heard in any lame-ass bar in this country. But it'll buy Sundance safety for at least a couple more weeks. Shit.

Predictions:

Who should go home: SANJAYA, Brandon.

Who will go home: A.J., and maybe Nick or Jared