Apparently America took Stephanie Edwards literally: you really didn't have to say you loved her.

Stephanie became the first distaff victim of the Top 12. Based on her performance Tuesday --- and even the week before --- it's no surprise. But when you consider that Haley Scarnato and Sanjaya will now be on the Idol tour, the world seems a little more scary.

The shock of the evening came from Stephanie's partner in the bottom two, Chris Richardson. It was another voter Perfect Storm: solid, but not stunning performance + weaker Idols in danger + assumed safety - harsh criticism = near elimination. Just ask Chris Daughtry how that works. Chris will almost certainly be in the Top 3 next week, even if he goes out on stage and just takes a dump. It's the Bounce Effect, and we saw it this week with NosPhilratu. (As an aside, Richardson looked amazing last night --- he should really wear more short-sleeved polos to show off those arms. Meaty!)

Other things of note:

-It's never explicity stated, but we can intimate from the groupings how things shook out in the voting. The top three consisted of Melinda, Blake, and Phil. As mentioned before, Phil benefitted from a lousy performance and a Bottom 2 scare last week; what we need is a mediocre showing from him next week and that bald piece of shriek is out the door. The next three included Lakisha, Jordin, and Sligh. That last one troubles me, but the grouping also shows that Lakisha's popularity is starting to wane. The near-bottom three included Sanjaya, Gina, and Haley, and for a minute I was convinced that was our actual lowest grouping, because, come on: Sanjaya and Haley. But Ryan is a trickster!

-The pimpomercial was set to "Another Saturday Night" and featured the Idols in a laundromat. Chris Sligh and Lakisha are AWFUL in these, and I'm especially surprised by Sligh because he's "Mr. Personality" or whatever. I guess he feels stupid engaging in these goofy ads. But, like, welcome to "Idol" you douchebag. It's part of the deal. If Daughtry can pull off a pink golfing outfit and not look mortified you can dance around in soap bubbles. The highlight was the amazing gymnastic performance by Melinda. Is there ANYTHING that girl can't do? She reminds me of a 40-year-old Mary Lou Retton. (And before you post: Yes. I know it was a stunt double. But wouldn't it be great if it was Melinda doing twisting double backflips?)

-I fast-forwarded through the Idol Cares portion. I do not watch this show for social relevance, and you can't make me feel bad for zoning out to its brain-numbing stupidity. It's what you expect of me. Don't flip the script now.