Man. These stupid initial auditions never end. Four weeks! Eight episodes! And we've seen maybe 1/10 of the 172 people who actually made it to Hollywood. Boo! Anyway, here's "The Best of the Rest" (which translates to, "We wanted to stretch this sucker out as long as possible"):

THE GOOD:

-Tami Gosnell, 29 (isn't that against the rules?), sings "Whipping Post" and is quite good. Simon loves her. Tami scares me a little, what with the piercing directly through her bottom lip and very manly features. But her voice is wonderfully soulful --- she'll get a lot of comparisons to Janis Joplin. And also, Ellen DeGeneres, if you get my drift. Both are good things in my book.

-Paul Kim wants to represent for all male Asian singers, to repair the damage done by one Mr. William Hung. I'd add Sway from last year to that list too. He sings Shy's "If I Ever Fall in Love Again" and rocks the shit out of it for the first half (he has a very husky, low tone that I totally wasn't expecting) but kind of bobbles the high notes. Needs to work on his breath control. He won't get past Hollywood, but made a decent showing here.

-I remember Gina Glocksen from previous seasons. I liked her then, I like her now. She's got this punk-ish Joan Jett thing going, and I love me some Joan Jett. She sings "Black Velvet," and I want that song retired STAT --- it's not really a good fit for her, I think. She has a major thing for Simon. Get in line, sister. She gets through, and I can see her making Top 24, but that's it. She's just not Top 12 material.

THE "GOOD":

-Three Frisco's server girls come in on roller skates and painted up like $3 whores. They all try out together. They have individual names, but I'm not sure it matters. Heather (of course she's named Heather) is thoroughly mediocre. Ashley (of course she's named Ashley) is even moreso. Ebony (of course she's named Ebony) is freaking amazing, and needs to ditch the gimmick right-quick. Ebony is a star and must be whisked from Ashley's grasp as quickly as possible. Ashley also gets through, which is BS, and totally reveals herself to be the bitch we suspected her to be when she shoots Paula a nasty comment after Paula very kindly tries to tell her that she shouldn't wear so much makeup. (Seriously, she looks like someone punched her in the face.)

-Lakisha Jones gets through with flying colors on her bouncy version of Aretha's "Think." She's not nearly as good as everyone says she is. She totally got by on energy and performance, because the singing was not great (she didn't even attempt the power notes --- not a good sign). Lady, I know Mandisa. You are no Mandisa.

THE GOOD FOR TELEVISION:

-W.E.S. is awesome, very passionate about music and his maize satin shirt. He sings a song of his own making and quickly turns into a Will Ferrell character that Will Ferrell has yet to create.

-Alexander Nazrio is very flexible and painfully gay. He slaughters "Making Love Out of Nothing at All" and for that he is dead to me. Squeals like a pig, y'all.

-Christa Fazzino raided her drama club's wardrobe closet and decided her costume of the day would be "crazy person." Check it: Long tight-checkered shots; bright red hooker pumps; black bustierre with shiny pink inlay; asymmetrical top; clashing red wrap; faux pill hat with black veil; long black and white gloves. She's terrible and continues to waste my time.

-Sandie returns! More Sandie.

Preview of Hollywood Week: SO MUCH CRYING! I am excited.