"Survivor" is back, this time without the cringe-inducing racial separation motif. The new season (its 14th) is set in Fiji and kicked off with 20 castmembers, but one literally bailed before the contestants got into their boats and the cameras started rolling. Wuss. After that things got even stranger, as know-it-all host Jeff Probst didn't make an appearance until Day 2's first immunity challenge. In the meantime, all 19 survivors worked together to use provided materials and a site plan to build an elaborate hut, complete with kitchen, bathroom, and all sorts of amenities. This is kind of high life is previously unheard of on the show. At the challenge the group's "leader" was identified as architect Sylvia (by default, really, as she used her professional skills to organize the hut building) and she singlehandedly was responsible for separating the remaining 18 castaways into two groups of nine. At the challenge the green group --- sorry, don't remember stupid tribal names --- beat the orange group due to orange's sucky puzzle skills. And then the other shoe finally drops: Winning team gets immunity and goes back to its swank pad; losing team goes to tribal council and gets shunted to a barren beach where they'll find one pot for cooking, one machete, and that's it. It's the exact kind of goofy thing series creator Mark Burnett is pulling on "Apprentice" this season. And while it fits better here, it's still kind of silly. Meanwhile, Sylvia got booted to exile island, which this season is covered in poisonous water snakes. Pleasant. Her clue to the hidden immunity idol is a bit of a boner, as it tells her it's back at camp. And since there are two hidden idols this season (a good idea, really), that likely means there's one at both camps.

Nineteen players is too much. I don't think half the cast even got a single confessional. I got a vibe from maybe five people this episode --- cocky Bostonite Rocky (who apparently has like three different names), former homeless person Dreamz (lots of Flavor of Love-style nicknames this season), irritating and entitled Erica, completely awesome older gentleman Yau Man, and dippy Jessica, who gets the first boot due to her sucking at the challenge. She will not be missed. The most hilarious part of the exercise is that Rocky, Erica, and Jessica formed an "alliance" and when the three decided seemingly innocuous Rita (who's the sister of Uncle Nick from Season 2 of "Project Runway," incidentally) was getting the boot, they just wiped their hands and said "that's that." Perhaps you need to refresh your math skills, geniuses, since that'd be three votes for your side, six for the other. So stupid. Rocky initially makes a big deal of telling Jessica that he'd always tell her if she was on the block, and expects the same, and then...doesn't. Rocky is a snake already, which means we'll be seeing him for a while.

Other notable castaways: Big Gary seems like a kinder, gentler version of Big Tom from "Outback"; Cassandra reminds me an awful lot of Cirie from a few seasons ago (which is a good thing); I suspect Sylvia will be an early casualty --- she grates and has outlived her usefulness; and we have a cadre of hotties to choose from, between lawyer Alex, charming Edgardo, gorgeous Mookie, and meathead Boo. Unfortunately, the clips from next episode show Boo to be somewhat accident prone, and this concerns me deeply. In any event, I'm firmly on team Yau Man, although it's highly doubtful he will actually win. But boy is he cool!