Well, that was better. After a disastrous first episode I decided to give Bravo's new reality competition a second chance. I'm glad I did. The show still has some big problems --- the title sequence is downright lame and the judges are lifeless. That middle one --- I seriously don't even know her name --- is as worthless as a tit on a bull (TM my dad). But there were some cool designs and some shocking surprises this time around that made it worth my while.

First off, John calls a house meeting to explain why he was such an aggressive asshole last week: He is HIV positive and got a massive shot of testosterone before coming on the show, which could account for his mood swings. Mmmm, yeah. Not buying it. I've no doubt that a testosterone shot could make him crazy edgy, but he's clearly an asshole through and through. This little proclomation was designed to engender pity and offer a half-assed excuse for his behavior. Failed on both counts for me. His behavior throughout this episode continued to paint him as a petty, spiteful bully.

And a shitty designer too. The challenge was to create a bedroom for a mystery client. Halfway through the process the designers got a curveball --- the clients are actually 10 years old. This left many of the contestants scrambling, and some of them did a bang-up job. Goil, my fave, made a really cool, modular, interactive room that I would have loved as a 10-year-old. Erik (who?) made a pirate-themed room that, while gimmicky, absolutely rocked. He needs a job on "Survivor" or something. Carisa's jungle-themed room had some cool elements --- the hanging ropes, the desk adjoined to the bed --- but wasn't quite there.

Other designers had some big problems. A number of the rooms were way too old for kids (Felicia, Matt), and a couple were downright dogs. Total poseur Ryan painted this half-assed wave concept on the wall, and then built this impossibly tall bed, catwalk, and cat post all in bright pink. John went overbudget and didn't even do a floor (!) and his room looked half-finished, at best, without any clear concept. But the real dog of the bunch was Michael's atrocity, which seemed designed more for a 90-year-old than a 9-year-old. A sad blue/green tone. Old books on a shelf. A bud vase filled with cheap fake flowers. A "Home Sweet Home" cross-stitch pillow. *Shudder*

In the end John got the boot, which surprised me for two reasons: 1) He was shaping up to be the villain of the piece and 2) As unfinished as John's was, Michael's was way worse. I'd rather have a half-finished room with some kind of perspective than the old folks home rehash Michael put out. But Michael and Ryan seem ready to pick up the asshole mantle, so I'm sure it'll work out anyhow.