Finally! I've been waiting for this day for WEEKS. It's like my own personal Christmas, except better. Because instead of crappy gifts from my ever-so-thoughtful family (a tire pressure gauge...how festive), Auntie Tyra always gives me exactly what I want: fresh bitches.

As usual, the CW is drumming up interest in the upcoming season of "America's Next Top Model" -- its 11th! -- by revealing the contestant photos a few weeks early. You can check them out on the CW's official site, but I'd recommend heading to one of my favorite blogs, FourFour, for its take. Blogger Rich Juzwiak is a brilliant pop culture commentator, and he has parlayed his personal blog (which has meticulously covered "Model" since Season 5, plus features regular ruminations on various music and movie projects...and videos of his cats) into a regular blogging gig for VH1's Celebreality programming. Honestly, his take is probably the funniest thing about that sad, incestuous little television universe anymore.

But anyway, back to the girls. I got a good chuckle out of the new season poster -- Hippy Tyra looks like she went a bit overboard on the peyote -- but really wasn't sure. Those posters are so Photoshopped that the girls barely resemble themselves in real life. (Cycle 5's poster was especially misleading; I defy you to tell me who that chick is in the upper left corner (I believe it's Tippy Tumbles herself, duck-lipped Sarah), who zombified poor Nik's face, and how Coryn looks so...feminine.) I was conflicted, because I thought a bunch of the new girls looked pretty hot.

So imagine my surprise when I saw the photos, and a bunch of the girls seem to be legitimately pretty! I mean, we still have our standard broke-ass chaff, clearly brought in for Tyra to methodically eviscerate and then ultimately devour. To wit: Clark (shades of Cycle 6's Kathy; let's hope she drops trou outdoors before the casting special even begins), Sheena (another cartoon-faced Asian girl, like C6's Gina -- why can't Tyra select one of the millions of gorgeous Asian girls walking around all over the place?), Nikeysha (I'm sorry, but: crack ho, straight up), and Isis (actual former crack ho, and according to Rich, possibly a tranny). 

But still, so much pretty! Elina! Hannah! Annaleigh! McKey (my early favorite; she looks like a maneater)! Marjorie (promising with her quirky/androgynous look, but she needs to work on those dead, dead eyes)! I could take or leave Joslyn, Brittany, Samantha, and Sharaun. But we'll have to wait until makeovers. Those can completely change a girl's trajectory in my mind, as contestants I might have initially dismissed can be imbued with total fierceness (last cycle's Claire, anyone?), while initially pretty girls can be utterly destroyed (Cycle 9's Jenah, Saleisha --- just about anyone from that awful, awful season, really). 

As an added bonus, the new season premieres Wednesday, September 3 -- my 30th birthday. (You can send presents right to the City offices; cold, hard cash really brings out my baby blues.) And because Auntie Tyra is SO thoughtful, it's a two-hour extravaganza, like the days of youre. Oh, Tyra! Thank you! It's just the way I wanted to kick off my fourth decade on this big, bitch-filled planet...