So the girls learn how to pose by vogueing for a man named Benny Ninja (of the East Hampton Ninjas, perhaps?) and then scurrying through a laser maze. Hey, this stuff happens to supermodels all the time, folks. They have to be prepared. Whitney wins the challenge and this obscenely overpriced charm bracelet, and I'm just happy that my little chocolate kiss is starting to make it happen.
The craptacular photo shoot concepts continue apace as this week the girls have to pose as murder victims. It is disturbing on various levels, especially for Jael, who's friend just OD'd. It's not as screwed up as forcing Kahlen to model inside an actual grave after her friend died in Cycle 4, but it's up there. The girls actually do a fairly convincing job pretending to be dead, but a crappy job showing off the clothes. Standouts include Renee, whose breakdown wasn't nearly as dramatic as I'd hoped. She does lose her shit, but there's not direct confrontations with any of the girls. Just sulking and smoking by the very dangerous wall of flames installed outside the house. Her photo is good, though, and she's chosen first. Jaslene continues to take amazing photos and she cha-chas it up for Tyra and judging, which Tyra loves. You keep on being a big ol' stereotype, and you'll be just fine, mija. The judges rave about Brittany's photo, but I hated it --- you can barely see her face. Similarly they tell Diana how awesome she looks, but I continue to think she looks like every curvy housewife out there. She has yet to take a shot that interests me at all.
The final two ended up being Dionne and Felicia. So basically, the prettiest girls in the competition. Dionne is criticized for not dressing like a model in person, and not being inventive enough on shoots. Felicia is dinged for her lackluster photo this week (ignoring the three strong photos she's taken thus far --- like that's fair), and it's unspoken but I suspect her video vixen attitude sets Tyra's teeth on edge. As do the constant comparisons to her younger self, I'm sure. Felicia is of course sent home, and that's ridiculous. But it's "Top Model." What do you want?
In other news, Tyra shows up for the fourth consecutive panel wearing a head wrap, and I am seriously wondering what is going on with her fivehead. There's gotta be some major ugly going on up in that noggin of hers.
Next week: We explore Natasha's creepy mail-order bride relationship. Awesome!