Now that "Top Chef" is over (that punk Ilan won, if you care; I certainly don't) Bravo needed some new reality crack to keep us addicted. And so it offers this interior design-based competition, which frankly kind of sucks. We're introduced to 12 designers, and only the men make any kind of impression. The women are just a blur of long hair and pantsuits. The first challenge requires the designers to pair up and create a room for a "mystery celebrity" based only on five items said celeb has provided. These are a kitschy mix of a cartoon cat statue, a

NBC's Thursday night line-up is finally good again, in a way it hasn't been since it was called "Must See TV." And while last night was no exception for laughs, a few too many blows were thrown at women throughout the evening. Let me preface this by saying that there's an angry feminist deep within me (usually I'm just a happy feminist) and tonight NBC gave her an invitation to come out.It started with My Name is Earl, a show I'm usually quite fond of. Tonight's guest star Ernie Grunwald, playing a Frenchman named Pierre who Earl strangled back in grade

So I turned on ABC at 9 p.m. last night assuming that Desperate Housewives would be new, since it was a repeat last week. I found Old School playing instead! I was confused; could I be on the wrong channel? Did I only imagine it was 9 p.m.?  What's going on here people? "Winter hiatus" just ended a few weeks ago and we're already getting repeats and no-shows? Needless to say, I was angry. I mean, I am already frustrated with the decreasing quality of the show and the increasingly cheesy plotlines (see my blog post from two weeks ago), but

An awesome episode after last week's dull retread. Pretty much all of the storylines excited me, with the exception of Isaac and Simone. I simply could not care less about those two, but it did help me realize what Simone's super power is: she's the world's greatest plot device. Her entire role on this show is to get one character from point A to point B, from Isaac to Nathan (the painting she sold/got back from Linderman) and especially Peter. In this episode she's employed in the classic romcom convention of one half of a couple discovering the other with

It’s our “final” night of auditions (except that it’s totally not, liars) and we’re in San Antonio, Texas. There is much discussing of the Alamo and even more drawling. Also, suspiciously few assholes. Aren’t we done with this yet?THE GOOD:-After an extended intro sequence that seemingly never ends, Haley Scarnato, 24, finally sings. She’s quite good. A little affected --- especially in the beginning of the song --- but she does Bonnie Raitt proud with “I Can’t Make You Love Me.” She reveals that she’s a wedding band singer, and that sounds about right. Simon questions whether she has the

Man. These stupid initial auditions never end. Four weeks! Eight episodes! And we've seen maybe 1/10 of the 172 people who actually made it to Hollywood. Boo! Anyway, here's "The Best of the Rest" (which translates to, "We wanted to stretch this sucker out as long as possible"):THE GOOD:-Tami Gosnell, 29 (isn't that against the rules?), sings "Whipping Post" and is quite good. Simon loves her. Tami scares me a little, what with the piercing directly through her bottom lip and very manly features. But her voice is wonderfully soulful --- she'll get a lot of comparisons to Janis Joplin.

Well, that was better. After a disastrous first episode I decided to give Bravo's new reality competition a second chance. I'm glad I did. The show still has some big problems --- the title sequence is downright lame and the judges are lifeless. That middle one --- I seriously don't even know her name --- is as worthless as a tit on a bull (TM my dad). But there were some cool designs and some shocking surprises this time around that made it worth my while.First off, John calls a house meeting to explain why he was such an aggressive asshole last week: He

"Survivor" is back, this time without the cringe-inducing racial separation motif. The new season (its 14th) is set in Fiji and kicked off with 20 castmembers, but one literally bailed before the contestants got into their boats and the cameras started rolling. Wuss. After that things got even stranger, as know-it-all host Jeff Probst didn't make an appearance until Day 2's first immunity challenge. In the meantime, all 19 survivors worked together to use provided materials and a site plan to build an elaborate hut, complete with kitchen, bathroom, and all sorts of amenities. This is kind of high life is previously

I must admit that before "30 Rock" I was pretty ambivalent about Alec Baldwin. I always thought he was a good actor, but nothing extraordinary. But I was intrigued when I found he would be on Tina Fey's new show, because I always thought that the best thing he'd ever done was the "sweaty balls" skit on "Saturday Night Live."Now, I am in LOVE with Alec Baldwin. He is really the one thing that keeps bringing me back to "30 Rock," which is an admittedly on-again, off-again show (but when it is on, it is ON). I now believe that Alec

I feel like jumping off the couch and dancing a jig. "Desperate Housewives" is actually fun again. I cannot remember the last time an episode left me wanting more without feeling angry or tricked. Yes, it's still soap opera-ish and a wee bit over the top, but we'll work on that next. My only quip is that they ended with the all too clichéd "To Be Continued." Duh, right? Like we thought after Orson fell off the building that he would be left floating in space, indefinitely, without hitting the ground? It just seemed unnecessary. Other than that, great mysteries

Last week's awesome episode was a lot to live up to. And, well, this one didn't. Mostly because half of the storylines featured snore generators Matt and Mohinder. But we did have some great moments. Let's dig in.-JESSICA! I love me an evil woman who can kick my ass. Just turns my crank. And Ali Larter is doing a great job playing what has turned out to be a pretty difficult part. Evil twins are done all the time on daytime soaps, so she's not exactly reinventing the wheel here. But she's able to signal exactly which half of her

So let me get this straight: I’ve spent the last four weeks watching assholes who can’t sing, and now that we’re to the part where people who can sing are fighting for survival the producers cram it into one episode? How does that even make sense? Freaking “Idol.” Anyway, it’s Hollywood Week, my favorite time of the year. We start with 172. We end with 40. Let the slaughtering of dreams begin!CANNON FODDER:-The military contingent of Marine Jarrod Fowler and Army servicewoman Rachel Jenkins (both tried out in Minneapolis) are cut quickly, which gives me great pleasure. They were both

We must get to 24, 12 guys and 12 girls. How do we do it? By destroying 16 more dreams. Let's go!THE CUTS:A bunch of people we never met, plus:Anna Kearns, the incredibly tall girl, who seems really put out by being cut, even though she admits thatshe's not that good a singer. Apparently being really tall is, like, her entire existence. Sad. Tami Gosnell, the, um, "sporty" lass who wowed us in the "Best of the Rest" episode. Apparenly she is not among the best of the rest.Thomas Lowe was getting some buzz online, but does not advance.Cowboy Matthew

My favorite sitcom needs to get some momentum back. Last night's episode was OK. There were some outstanding moments, in fact --- Michael vs. college, the office vs. the bat --- but overall things are becoming formulaic. I guess that's to be expected from a sitcom. But from "The Office," I expect better.The Michael Arc is particularly getting tedious. Every episode he starts out clueless and then ramps up into painfully inappropriate. (Last night's example: his diatribe about how college professors/students don't know anything about business, since they're trapped in their ivory and --- pointing to the black professor --- ebony towers.) But then

So it turns out Orson is a good guy after all. Tonight's Desperate Housewives ended on a happy note for the first time in, well, forever. And the result? Serious unease. With no mystery left to solve in the show right now, there's not much to look forward to, so I guess it's good that the show's not on again for two weeks. And the writers better introduce some new drama --- fast.I mean, c'mon! Lynette and Tom are happy; the pizzeria is a success and they're madly in love. Gaby found out she didn't sleep with Zach and gave

And we're off! Last night kicked off the new edition of "The Amazing Race," the first all-star season for the race around the world. Producers did a good job bringing some popular teams --- Ozzy and Danny, Kevin and Drew, Rob and Amber, Charla and Mirna, Team Guido --- but also selected a couple quizzical choices. The first leg took our racers from Miami, Florida, to Quito, Ecuador. Like most first episodes, too much was going on to get a really good sense of what was happening. But there were a couple notable developments:-Rob & Amber shot out ahead fast and kept

YAY! I was so excited by the end of this episode, in which the most boring storylines of the season all got majorly ratcheted up. There are very few characters I'm uninterested in anymore. Let's dissect, but first know this: SPOILERS ABOUND. If you haven't seen the episode but plan to, read at your own risk.-Simone is dead! I was getting sick of her holier-than-thou attitude, and now she has the physical holes to match (bad pun, but I couldn't resist). As I've said from the beginning, Simone's entire purpose on this show was to die. She is the Gwen Stacy

Last Thursday's episode of Grey's Anatomy gave true meaning to the phrase edge-of-your-seat entertainment. Who could have predicted what happened to Meredith, and what was the deal with the little girl?My prediction about Izzy's situation was totally wrong. Not only did she save the guy stuck under a car, but she performed major surgery using an unsanitary drill and scalpel. This was the only aspect of the episode that struck me as completely phony and unrealistic.George made yet another false promise to a patient, this time a mother in search of her lost son. George assured the woman prior to

To parrot Randy, "That was rough, dawg." Yikes. The Top 12 guys took the stage last night and fully half the performances were wretched. The only good news: it should make cutting the 12 down to six pretty easy. The bad news: I suspect some of the better guys won't make it due to this show's cult of personality. Rudy Cardenas is up first, and for reasons known only to himself, he selects to sing the Edgar Winter Group's "Free Ride." The problem here is, the song requires soul. I'm not sure Rudy comes equipped with that feature. His voice

The cast of the fourth season of "Dancing With the Stars" has been released. And...well, it's underwhelming. Where's the beefcake?!The big name is Heather Mills, formerly known as Mrs. Paul McCartney, who will be the first contestant with an aartifical limb, but not the first contestant going through a nasty divorce (see: Evans, Sara).Lots of sports folks, including Olympic speed skater Apolo Ohno, boxer Laila Ali, and ex-basketballer Clyde Drexler.C-list celebs include Vincent "Big Pussy" Pastore (his second reality show, after his disastrous run on "Celebrity Fit Club"), Billy Ray Cyrus, Leeza Gibbons, Joey "Fat One" Fatone of 'NSync, ex-Miss USA