The thrust of this week's episode was etiquette. The show brought in a predictably snooty etiquette coach to lead the girls through walking like a lady, sitting like a lady, eating like a lady, etc. Of course the coach threw around nasty glances and disparaging remarks with abandon (ever notice that the people who are supposed to be masters of refinement are typically the quickest to whip out the bitchery?). All of this was to prepare the women for "dates" with Andrew Firestone, heir to the Firestone tire fortune and one of the seemingly endless line of blandly handsome men who have starred on ABC's boring "Bachelor" program. Firestone now runs a vineyard, and he chose this show to promote it on. His family must be so proud.

So the dates consisted of two girls pairing up and chatting with Firestone. One girl would be picked to move to a semi-final dinner round, and then two girls from that moved on to dessert. One of those women then won the chance to accompany Firestone to a vineyard function and act as spokesperson for his product. The winner also got exemption from elimination.

The catch was that the girls had to choose their own partners, and specifically to choose someone they thought they could beat. This hilariously led to a minor bidding war over who got to go in with infamous spitter Brooke (formerly Pumkin - Mo'nique ditched all of the girls' Flav nicknames in Episode 1), with Larissa (Bootz) ultimately victorious.

The real drama came from the pairing of Shatar (Hottie) and Heather (Krazy), especially after Heather discovered that all of her dresses had been stolen. There was much wailing and gnashing of teeth on Heather's part, but Brooke - to her credit - got proactive and found the burgled items stuffed in a drawer in the kitchen. How'd they get there? Why, Shater hid them there, of course. To rattle Heather to make her an easier match.

Shatar's brilliance only blossomed at the actual date, when she saw that Heather had regained her composure, and then admitted that she stole the dresses and would have to hide them better next time. A shellshocked Heather fell flat on her face, and Shatar won. In fact, Shatar won the whole damn thing --- she got the Firestone winery event and immunity. And with that, she joins the ranks of Omarosa as top-tier reality "villains" whose sneakiness, smarts, and delight with which they use them make them a joy to watch. Shatar for president!

Of course, Shatar's dirty deeds required retaliation from the girls. And Brooke was happy to oblige. She took a pair of (allegedly) Shatar's used panties that were so stained that portions had to be blacked out by producers and put them over Shatar's picture on the wall. Classy!

None of this mattered at elimination. Shatar was exempt, Brooke's transgression wasn't even brought up - probably because the show needs both of them at this point. Instead, the bottom three consisted of Heather, Larissa, and Crystal (Serious). And for this, I call bullshit. None of these girls really did anything this episode to warrant being on the cutting block, and others did. In addition to Shatar and Brooke, Becky (Buckwild) made an ass of herself at the Firestone dinner, and Leilene (Smiley) showed up to a task more than an hour late and continued to be a gigantic emotional wreck. Yet Larissa was called out for a much-ballyhooed come on to Firestone (I didn't even take it that way, and I'm a pervert), Crystal for talking about herself all the time (true), and Heather for wearing hooker pumps to etiquette class (...that's it? Saaphyri wore gigantic shiny sunglasses indoors and Ugg boots!).

In the end, Heather got the boot. And she kind of got robbed. Now understand, I have no love for the woman - in the immortal words of Larissa, she's a dumb-ass, stupid-ass, fake-ass bitch - but she was the victim here. And interestingly, that's the reason Mo says she got expelled. She says that over the course of "Flavor" and this show, Heather loved playing the victim, and never did anything to change that. In fact, she doesn't think Heather thinks she needs to change at all. I think that's right on the money, but it's messed up that she's being punished for something she did on another show entirely. (Same is true for Larissa - she got called out on behaving like a child every time she's stressed out. Again, that's accurate, but has nothing to do with the proceedings at hand.)

In any case, so long, Heather. You have every right to be pissed off for your unwarranted elimination, but I really hope I never have to see you again. Toodles!