Oh, thank GOD it's almost over!
Last night we traveled to the enormous, sound-plagued Kodak Theatre for the final showdown between Blake and Jordin. As if that's even a competition. But anyway, Randy Jackson showed up after raiding Fall Out Boy's closet; Paula Abdul showed up with a smashed nose and, well, smashed (we'd been waiting for you all season, Drunk Paula! Welcome back!); and Simon delighted in pointing out Paula's jacked-up nose. I'm surprise he didn't hiss at her under-conditioned hair.
Blake started the night with his odious version of "You Give Love a Bad Name." And the crowd, and judges, ate it up. This is where I will not understand America sometimes. Are we listening to different songs? Aren't you totally embarrassed by this? It's so ninth-grade talent show, I cannot even tell you.
Jordin answered with her "new" selection, Xtina's "Fighter." This was a misstep, I think. Thematically it makes sense, since it's all about pushing someone to become better than they are. But it's not really a song one sings, it's just a lot of words crammed into a syncopated rhythm. There are a couple high notes --- it's Xtina, after all --- but I was totally underwhelmed. I started to worry: Could Darling Jordin blow it in the finale? Say it ain't so!
But I shouldn't have worried, because Blake's "new" song was "She Will Be Loved" by Maroon 5. And I think this is like the third song he's done by them this season. Don't get me wrong, great band, but...overkill, Blake. He sang it competently. That's really about it. He added absolutely nothing new to the song whatsoever (thank god he didn't start in with the stupid beatboxing, though...), he just sang it exactly like the original, but not as good. There was certainly no connection to the lyrics.
I was worried that for her favorite selection Jordin would again pick "I Who Have Nothing," and I remember Simon dinging Kelly for overusing one song ("Respect") in Season 1. But she chose Martina McBride's "Broken Wing" again, and it was perfect and wonderful and made me smile. I realized I wanted her to do that Diana Ross from "Land Before Time," but this was a good choice. Hell, there were so many great Jordin performances to choose from, it really was tough to pick.
The final song was the new coronation song, picked by America this time, so it's actually not as crappy as the past ones have been. It's still super cheesy --- "This is My Now", barf --- but it's infinitely better than "Inside Your Heaven," or "Flying Without Wings," or "Do I Make You Proud" or whatever. It's also totally out of the Blake's wheelhouse, and he kind of bombs, throwing in some Ashlee Simpson jumping/joggy stuff in the middle when he realizes he has no idea what he's doing on that stage. But it's perfect for Jordin, and she shops that shit, even perhaps manufacturing a bit of fake emotion to end the song all cracked and cryfaced. But I don't care! If that was deliberate manipulation, good on her. Milk every vote you can, girl! America is stupid and they will easily fall for flashy tricks! How else do you think Blake made it to the finals?
Chris Daughtry closed out the night, and the fact that Fox didn't cut him off as he played past 9 p.m. tells you something. Also important to note: Still no sign of Taylor Hicks all season. HA! What a douchebag.
SHOULD WIN: JORDIN!
WILL WIN: JORDIN!
I swear to you, if Blake Lewis wins this I'm going to punch every person in this country right in the face.
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