Whew! Tyra had me worried there for a minute!

The eighth "cycle" of "America's Next Top Model" ended with the right girl winning --- saucy Latina Jaslene --- but it started off what I'm calling The Night Women Got Robbed on Reality TV. Gorgeous Renee was cut in the beginning of the episode after having 1) a gorgeous Cover Girl shot and 2) a likable Cover Girl commercial because the panel decided that she looked "too old." I don't deny that Renee has a harsher look about her (I blame it on the fact that she has smoker skin, and also because she's an expert practitioner of The Bitchface), but she's undeniably pretty in person and has taken outstanding photos throughout the competition. She even had a fairly satisfying redemption arc in which she massively toned down her bitchiness. Renee should have been in the Final 2, no question.

Instead, we got stuck with Natasha. REALLY, Tyra? Throughout the series the judges have continually told me how pretty Natasha is. And look, I'm no fashionista. Every stitch on my back is from Old Navy. But I know pretty. Natasha is not pretty. She can be with a ton of make-up and the right hair, but in general sister is halfway homely. Those enormous sausage lips, the fact that there's almost no discernible gap between her nose and her mouth (giving her a permanent I'm-smelling-poo look), and her enormous bobbly head --- these are not modelesque. Her pictures improved but were still often uninspiring, and last week was a total disaster. Tyra repeatedly praised her for her enthusiasm and infectious attitude. I think Tyra was mistaking stupidity for surprise.

Anyway, somehow Natasha made it to the final runway. And I'll give her this: her walk has improved by leaps since the beginning of the show. She did a great job in the beginning, even brilliantly negotiating a garment malfunction. But Jaslene looked fierce and worked it, top to bottom. Good on her. Plus, her Cover Girl ad and commercial were brilliant.

There was only one clear choice, and thank god Tyra made the right one. If Natasha had won I would have lost a lot of faith in this show. It's not like Jaslene will be a legitimate model anyway, but at least our fake model can make us proud. Plus, who can resist the story of the girl who got rejected last cycle only to come back and win the whole damn thing? Love you, Jaslene. Go knock ‘em dead, you skinny bitch.