Man, that was rough. I knew going into semifinals that the guys were stronger than the girls this year - something that almost never happens, so I have to wonder if it isn't deliberate on the part of the producers. But I wasn't expecting the shiteous evening of "singing" we were subjected to last night. I enjoyed two, maybe three of the performances altogether. Out of 12. Contestant after contestant trotted out the "I'm sick" excuse, but that holds no water with me. This is your chance to impress America, girls, and most of you blew it.

Kristy Lee Cook, "Rescue Me" Rescue you from what, Kristy Lee? Mediocrity? That isn't going to happen.�Generically pretty girl singing generically pretty in a karaoke style. Nothing more. She didn't connect with the song at all. There was no urgency. She might as well have been reading off a Chinese take-out menu. Better stick to "Amazing Grace," you hack.

Joanne Borgella, "I Say a Little Prayer" Joanne is a gorgeous girl, but not a singer. Pitch problems throughout, the song was too low for her, and again, no connection with the song at all. She got better with the power notes toward the end, much like Chikezie the night before. In fact, I'm not 100 percent convinced that they aren't the same person, just taking on and off a voluminous wig.

Alaina Whitaker, "More Today Than Yesterday" OK, I'm going to be shallow for a second. Alaina - who I don't think we'd ever seen before last night - is gorgeous when the microphone is up to her face; she bears a striking resemblance to Carrie Underwood, in fact. But when she lowers that mic, POW! Orthodontia nightmare. My viewing party called her "Carrie Underbite" and "Carrie Uglywood." HOWEVER! She rocked the hell out of the song after a slow start. Easily one of the best of the night. We love you, Alaina! Please consult a dentist immediately!

Amanda Overmeyer, "[Insert name of song here]" I honestly wish I could tell you what Amanda sang last night. I wish I knew. I'm not sure it was a song. I can tell you things it included: bad scatting, some growling, a few screams, Amanda yelling "baby please don't go" over and over and over and over again, and Amanda looking hot as shit. I really want to like Amanda and her whiskey-soaked vocals. But if she keeps pulling BS like that - whatever THAT was - we are going to have to break up. Know your audience, Amanda. Pick songs your audience can at least recognize. Do not repeat Nadia Turner's mistakes.

Amy Davis, "Where the Boys Are" Somebody has to go first each year. And this year, it will be Amy. I don't know Amy. I don't think I saw her before last night. But I knew everything I needed to know when she slid into the first hellacious note of this song. Terrible. Amy should have known she was screwed when Paula started in with the "you're so pretty" stuff. Thanks for playing, sweetie.

Brooke White, "Happy Together" Brooke sounded great on the verses of this song, putting her quavering, soulful voice to good use. Then she hit the chorus and I don't think she knew what the hell she was doing. She tried, though. I like Brooke. I hope she's safe. I'd like to see what she can do when not forced into some bullshit genre she has no business singing. Damned show!

Alexandrea Laughton, "Spinning Wheel" Best of the night, even though Simon vehemently disagreed with me. I thought it was fun, brassy, and well sung. Totally into this girl. Just have to remember who�she is.

Kady Molloy, "Groovy Kind of Love" Apparently Kady does dead-on vocal impressions or something. I don't really care. But it is odd that such a deep, husky voice comes out of such a tiny, blonde little thing. I actually didn't mind this performance - it was boring, but it's a fairly boring song (my high school chorus used to use for vocal warm-ups, OK?). But she definitely could use some loosening up, which the judges tell her.

As'iah Epperson, "Piece of My Heart" OK. Here's the thing: much as I can't look past Danny Castro's hair to his actual performance, I can't get past my fundamental distrust of As'iah Epperson to even consider liking anything she does. As'iah, you might remember, is the girl whose dad died in a car wreck while she was on her way to audition for "Idol." And who sat there, totally unphazed, during the process. Smiling, giggling, laughing, performing, no signs of grief at all. I'm not going to tell anyone the proper way to mourn, but I AM going to say that I find it hard to believe that a young woman would show absolutely no signs of emotional distress mere days after her father's untimely death. I don't know if she's lying - I imagine that would have come out by now - but something is not right with As'iah. And so I just can't deal with her at all. She freaks me out. She sings OK, I guess. Simon loves her. I'm steeling myself for weeks of her skin-crawling presence.

Ramiele Malubay, "You Don't Have to Say You Love Me" I really liked Ramiele in her previous performances, a little woman blessed with a big ol' voice. She let me down here. It was a terrible arrangement of a fantastic song, and even when she got to the power notes, there wasn't much power. A total washout for me. But she should be fine.

Syesha Mercado, "Tobacco Road" Syesha annoyed me in Hollywood when she played the sick card. She annoyed me last night by singing this terrible song that someone sang a couple years ago, and which I hated then, and hate even more now. One of the judges called her the most powerful singer in the bunch, and I beg to differ. She screams, alright, but that's not necessarily power. This girl seems beyond ordinary to me.

Carly Smithson, "The Shadow of Your Smile" The Controversy Queen (for the record: I do not care that she had a record on a major label several years ago) put her amazing pipes to poor use with this dreadfully boring song. She did some interesting vocal stuff, but really, it's a shitty song. But she should be fine so long as this backlash doesn't capsize her.

Best of the night: Alaina, Alexandrea

Worst of the night: Amy, Kristy Lee, Joanne

In trouble: Amy, maybe Joanne