Caught the preview screening of "Speed Racer" last night at Greece Ridge. When I first heard about this project I groaned. The Wachowskis definitely biffed the last "Matrix" flick (I actually didn't hate the second one), but it seemed like a waste of their considerable directorial talents to have them adapt possibly the most frivolous cartoon of all time. It's a kid who drives cars really fast. That's about it.

But then I saw the previews, and my interest was piqued. The Technicolor visuals looked mighty impressive, and the brief snatches of racing footage excited me -- and I couldn't care less about auto racing in the real world. Could the Wackhowskis actually turn this stupid cartoon into a great movie?

The answer is yes - mostly. The movie has some flaws, specifically that it is too long (it's rated PG and is clearly aimed at kids, and yet clocks in at over two hours) and the plot is way more complicated than it needs to be. But if you can coast through the quieter, plot-heavy sequences, the vision, the characters, and especially the action add up to one of the most satisfying blockbusters I've seen in a long time.

The basic plot follows Speed Racer (Emile Hirsch) as he ascends from local racing favorite to a rising star in the hyper-popular global racing circuit. He's courted by the shysty head of big ol' sponsorship company (Roger Allam, in what SHOULD have been Tim Curry's role), but ultimately passes on a life of luxury out of allegiance to his family, which feels strongly that corporations have ruined racing. This leads us to a complicated plot involving the attempted ruination of Speed's family (which includes perfectly cast John Goodman and Susan Sarandon as his parents, Paulie Litt as kiddie-bait comic relief Spritle, and Chim Chim the monkey), hostile corporate takeovers, the mob, dangerous road races, and ninja assassins.

While adults shouldn't have trouble following the story's overall arc -- although the non-linear timeline occasionally confuses -- kids will likely be totally lost, pulled in every so often by the goofy antics of Spritle and Chim Chim and the intermittent races, of which there are only four. And that is a problem. This movie is clean enough, and CGI is so stunning that I think my 7-year-old nephew would love it. But the long stretches devoted to character arcs would totally lose him and most of his contemporaries.

But oh, those races. It's kind of hard to encapsulate the visual concept for this film. It's certainly Asian influenced, with a Willy Wonka color palette -- everything is crazy bright. The race tracks owe more to outlandish video games like F-Zero or Mario Kart than actual racing. There are huge jumps, hairpin turns, corkscrew twists, and insane obstacles, like 10' spikes lining the track. The cars themselves come with hydraulic jumps, carbonite cutters, chained maces, and in one memorable instance, a beehive catapult. The racing scenes are insane, thrilling, just about the coolest thing I've ever seen. I wanted more more more. If NASCAR looked like this, I'd be in the stands every race.

The cast does a uniformally good job bringing to life what are ultimately simple, iconic characters. Speed Racer doesn't exactly have much depth -- he likes to drive fast, and he's unflinchingly good -- and Hirsch does get somewhat drowned out by all the action and sparkle. Christina Ricci goes mainstream in the role of his helicopter pilot girlfriend, Trixie. She looks and acts fantastic, and the chemistry between Trix and Speed is great (yet wholly innocent). I just wish there was more of her in the film. Used in just the right amount is Racer X (Matthew Fox from "Lost," an inspired, if not entirely age-appropriate choice), the mysterious driver who works to bring down the mob that's been fixing races for decades. There are several great fight scenes involving X, including one with the whole gang in a mountain pass that should be the standard by which all movie fight scenes are judged.

I left the theater feeling satisfied and invigorated -- you know how that last race is going to end, but it's thrilling nonetheless. Unfortunately, the bad buzz is already building for the film, with the fanboy community (read: geeks) openly bitching about how it's too long, and poo-pooing the changes from the original cartoon (a Mach 6 instead of a Mach 5? Quelle horror!). This is unfortunate, but not exactly unexpected. The comic/anime/cartoon/video game nerd community seems to delight in tearing things down, putting a high premium on bashing things online so that they'll look big and tough and cool, and a low premium on independent thought. This can have a domino effect (I just saw one negative review over at Newsarama, in which dozens of commentors responded along the lines of "Boy, I knew this would suck; can't wait to see it fail") and might lead to the film stalling before it even gets out of the blocks. (Sorry, I know; in my defense it's the first bad racing metaphor I've used.) And that's a shame. "Speed Racer" isn't a perfect film, but it's totally better than its source material deserves.

Fat Whitney won! It only took us seven years and 10 cycles, but one of the juicy sisters finally went home with the title of America's. Next. Top. Model. Yay!

I'm thrilled with the results, but last night's episode was the weirdest "Top Model" finale I've ever seen. Where was the drama? The suspense? The energy? It's almost as though the editors lost their will to live after last week's booting of Dominique. And that's understandable - that hot tranny mess was the breakout star of this cycle, bringing back levels of delusion and stupidity like we haven't seen since Cycle 6's Leftover Lady, Jade. I honestly missed Dominique last night.

But that's no reason to give short shrift to the Final 3, who - in my opinion - were the strongest F3 since Cycle 3's Eva, Amanda, and YaYa. Any one of them could have won (except maybe Fatima). And yet, last night was so perfunctory and felt like such an after-thought, I had to wonder if maybe the whole show was just over it all and ready for summer break.

The girls did their CoverGirl commercial and photo shoot, which none of them really rocked. In the first panel Fatima was the surprise elimination - her delivery was clipped and robotic, sure, but her photo was beautiful and Anya's commercial was an unintelligible disaster - and she was basically just shuffled off into obscurity. Then the big fashion show was crammed into what seemed like five minutes. The final runways on this show are typically insane spectacles. We've had underwater catwalks, fashionable stiltwalkers, huge flower-covered Thai temples, and freaking ghost brides for Christ's sake. This time they had gorgeous Donatella Versace gowns and some scantily dressed man meat, but almost zero fanfare. And the girls only did two passes, versus the usual, like, five! Where was the swelling music? Where was the dazzling light show? Where was Tyra making an ass of herself, like usual?

I had heard that the show spent way too much money on Cycle 9 (what a waste that was...) and so had to really cut back the budget for this season. Maybe this is where the fat was trimmed? (No pun intended, Whitney.)

In any event, if you'd told me weeks ago that an Anya vs. Whitney Final 2 would result in Whitney winning, I'd have slapped you silly. I just didn't think it was possible. While the judges' criticisms last night were even more obtuse than usual (I could not for the life of me comprehend what Tyra was saying about Whitney's ugly facade in that first panel), I actually think they got it right. Whitney totally won the runway walk-off. She was way swishy and over-the-top, but Anya couldn't keep a straight line and seemed distracted, like she was walking through the quad on her way to pre-calc. Anya should have taken the portfolio review hands down, but I think Whitney ended up holding her own. I forgot how many of her photos I really liked.

Which is not to say that the judges didn't totally cherry pick those suckers - notice that the airport and Renaissance diva shots were nowhere to be found, and those were some of Whitney's weakest. There will undoubtedly be people saying that Whitney won because Tyra wanted a plus-sized (excuse me, full-figured) model to finally win it, not because she was the best model. And yeah, that's probably the case. But so what? If it was really about the best model, either Kat, Claire, or maybe Fatima would have gotten the crown, but it's rarely about that. It's about who is marketable and a role model. And I think Whit is. She's absolutely stunning, she's entertaining, and she can take beautiful photos, speak well, and walk a runway. She'll never be a high-fashion model, but this show will never really produce a successful couture-appropriate winner (Jaslene was probably our best bet). Whitney is a very good winner, and I look forward to her CoverGirl spots next season. She can't possibly do worse than tragic Saleisha, who we can forget ever existed. Now let us never speak of her again.

I've heard people complaining that overall, Cycle 10 was mediocre at best. And to that I say, rubbish. It's true that the girls couldn't compare aesthetically to some of the earlier crops (this was an especially broke-ass bunch), but I haven't seen such an entertaining bunch of chicks since Cycle 6. The drama, the entertainment, the fresh bitchery - it was all there, folks. "You're a shady bitch!"? "I hope you choke on your f**king coffee!"? "Frankensteiny"? These are instant classics, my friends.

Bring on Cycles 11-20, bitches!

"You may find Narnia a more savage place than you remember," warns Trumpkin the Red Dwarf, as channeled by "The Station Agent"'s Peter Dinklage. He's speaking to the Pevensie brood, but he may as well be addressing those watching the latest cinematic chapter to "The Chronicles of Narnia," called"Prince Caspian." The sequel to the 2004 blockbuster "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe," "Prince Caspian" goes "The Two Towers" route, or that of "The Empire Strikes Back," swapping its predecessor's novelty and wonder for something moodier, more ominous. In a perfect world, such a trade would enrich the evolving tale. But you don't need me to tell you that the world is often flawed.

One year has passed since the Pevensie siblings --- that's Lucy, Edmund, Susan, and Peter --- stumbled out of their magical armoire, and as "Prince Caspian" opens, the foursome is understandably surprised when a post-school stopover in London's Tube gives way to the azure shores of Narnia. But something seems off about their former kingdom, and the Pevensies learn that 1300 years have gone by in Narnia, now a bleak place under the thumb of an evilly bewhiskered people known as Telmarines. Cruel King Miraz (Italian filmmaker Sergio Castellitto, last seen in "Paris, je t'aime") is the Telmarine ruler, hoping to prevent our titular prince from realizing his birthright.

It's Caspian (British newcomer Ben Barnes) who unwittingly summoned the Pevensies, and "Prince Caspian" concerns itself with the efforts of Lucy, Edmund, Susan, and Peter to help Caspian and the native Narnians --- now nearly feral after ages hiding underground --- reclaim their land. And while Caspian and one-time king Peter engage in an alpha male-off over combat strategies, Lucy acts as the beacon of faith, trusting that Aslan (Liam Neeson's luscious tenor once again gives voice to the wise lion) will emerge from the forest and save the day. Now, normally my grasp of symbolism is pretty much limited to trains entering tunnels, but "Narnia" author C.S. Lewis, by way of director Andrew Adamson, makes his religous allegory --- belief without proof --- obvious enough even for a simpleton like yours truly.

The epic battle scenes aspire to the sweep of the "Lord of the Rings" trilogy (Lewis and J.R.R. Tolkien were colleagues at Oxford and good friends, incidentally), but the brutal, bloodless action grows tiresome, and the notion of adolescents fighting to the death becomes downright uncomfortable. As Caspian, the vacant Barnes is wildly unimpressive, a major problem when the film is named after your character. Skandar Keynes' Edmund and Georgie Henley's Lucy are the standouts, the former newly emboldened and the latter having skipped the awkward stage, going straight from cherubic to elegant. The good news is that the two of them figure prominently in "Narnia"'s next installment, the Michael Apted-directed "Voyage of the Dawn Treader," due 2010. The bad news? So does Caspian.

"Things never happen the same way twice," Aslan tells Lucy towards the end of "Prince Caspian." He, too, could be talking to us, but it's you parents who should listen up. Perhaps your kid(s) dug the White-Witch kitsch of "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe," but be aware that "Prince Caspian" is an entirely different animal. Sure, there are more adorable talking rodents, and the sex consists of pillow-lipped Susan flirting with Caspian about their millennial age difference, but the PG rating merely acknowledges the lack of gore and not the pervasive violence. Of course you know what your own children can handle, but the parents of the four-year-old moppet at my matinee the other day probably now wish they had done their research.