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August 14, 2008 at 8:54am

"Project Runway": Welcome to the jungle, Kelli...

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...you're gonna die! (Props to the rock's poet laureate of the 1990s, Axl Rose.)

As soon as it got down to Kelli vs. Blayne I said, "Goodbye, Kelli. Sigh." And the sad thing was, earlier in the episode I was commenting to my brother that she was looking like a good candidate for F4 (along with Kenley and Korto, who are practically a lock at this point -- unfortunately). It's the age-old story, a la Santino Rice and Wendy Pepper: they kept Blayne because he makes "good TV." Which means, he's a cartoon, and Kelli is a real person, who doesn't rely on mugging and catchphrases and acting like an idiot. She just, you know, has talent.

For those who missed it, the challenge was to create a day-to-night outfit for Brooke Sheilds' character on NBC's "Lipstick Jungle." (Way to blatantly cross-promote your mother network, Bravo.) Shields herself (more gorgeous every day) picked six designers to lead teams of two, and we ended up with the unholy alliances of Korto/Joe, Kelli/Daniel, Blayne/LeAnne, Terri/Suede, Keith/Kenley, and Jerrell/Stella. Seriously, almost every one of the teams were at each others' throats within minutes.

Honestly, I didn't think Kelli's ensemble was that bad with the jacket on (you can check it here, along with everyone else's designs). Once that came off, however, the whole look did indeed look cheap -- those blue bra cups made zero sense when viewing the dress alone -- and it all looked fairly poorly made. But I still liked it better than Terri's (I simply do not get all the online Terri love) and Korto's, which I thought was freaking ridiculous. Yeah, she saved it from being totally inappropriate  by belting it with a sash, but never in a million years is that something Brooke Shields would wear. Talk about designing for yourself, not the challenge...

I thought Keith's skirt was gorgeous, but the top looked a sloppy mess. The transformation from day to night was really awkward looking, and I wasn't a big fan of the fabric (what is with all the hideous prints the designers are using this year? I imagine Uli at home on her South Beach couch just frothing at the mouth). Jerrell's was indeed good looking, but aside from Stella's belt, there wasn't anything that was particularly fashion forward. But if I'm being honest, neither was Keith's. He seems to think he's pushing fashion boundaries, when he's barely skirting the line.

I'm through with Daniel. He has PLUMMETED since his cup dress in the first challenge (admittedly, though, so has Kelli -- I haven't completely loved anything she's sent out since), and he is a spoiled little brat. And completely outclassed here, which, given the slim competition, is saying a LOT. He couldn't even make a skirt without screwing up! Now I understand why he's always scrambling to finish in seemingly every challenge.

For some really interesting background, check out Tim's blog at bravotv.com. Tim has never pulled his punches (he famously went after Victorya after last season wrapped), but he's calling these guys out left and right on that blog. He has no love for Kenley AT ALL (he basically calls her combative and snotty) and was shocked at Korto's nastiness toward Joe in this challenge (I wasn't; she has repeatedly shown herself to be a right bitch, and also repeatedly refused to take responsibility for her shitty design choices -- fin dress, anyone?). He was also chagrined at how nasty Terri was toward Suede, although I kind of loved it. I may not like her design work, but she can shit talk with the best of them.

Next week: Drag queens! Gay pterodactyls from Jurassic Park! Michael Kors back in his natural habitat!

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