After a few dull episodes and that worthless recap episode last week, we returned to form last night with one of the most cracked-out episodes in "ANTM" history. We had, in no particular order: a house divided by staunch nationalism; a runway strut in wooden shoes; the Aswirl Twins (!); bright green full-body suits; puking into garbage cans; the annual disastrous commercial shoot; James St. James and his spiked jacket; disembodied clothing; and grown men wearing windmill costumes. Yes, this is what "Top Model" is all about. They should really just rename it "America's Next Over-the-Top Model" and be done with it.

The episode began with the house dividing along the strangest lines yet: Americans vs. immigrants. Seriously! Marjorie (born in France) and Elina (born in Russia, or somewhere in the Eastern Bloc) feel picked on by the panel for the constant criticism that they're socially dysfunctional wierdos. They ascribe this to growing up in Europe, saying that it's totally acceptable to be a spazz and/or a frigid bitch there. The rest of the girls - specifically Sheena and Samantha - weren't having it, with Sam practically waving the "Proud to Be An American" flag right in their faces and Sheena telling the ladies to sack up and deal with it.

The tension was thankfully broken by a visit by the Aswirl Twins, best remembered for their legendary stint on C6 (I think it changed my life). I don't think I took a breath for the entire segment, I was so afraid it was a hallucination or something. They're like gay twin leprechauns. A sighting is rare! While this spot wasn't as good as the original - they taught the girls how to model "axe-cess-oh-ryes" -- they made up for it at the end of the episode. (More on that in a bit.)

And man, the freaks were out this episode, since the challenge was administered by former NYC club kid and current denizen of my nightmares, James St. James. The task was for each girl to wear full-body green suits (they even covered their faces) and model truly hideous fashions in front of a green screen, giving the illusion of disembodied clothes. It looked like really bad public access TV. Oh, and the designer was an exact blend of Maxine from those terrible greeting cards and 80's cartoon songstress Jem. Now THAT's truly outrageous. The only things of note were that all the clothes were cheap-looking and awful, Marjorie's top totally fell down and she didn't notice (she was wearing a body suit under it, after all), pretty much everyone sucked, and that terrifying troll doll designer wasn't having any of it. Elina ended up winning.

Which sparked another hilarious catfight between the girl. Elina's prize was to appear in a Seventeen Magazine editorial spread on holiday accessories. The All-American Girls (Sheena, Sam, and Joslyn) thought this was some bullshit, since Elina is an atheist, and therefore doesn't believe in holidays. So it's hypocritical of her to model holiday accessories. How do they even come up with this? I'm starting to suspect that some of these girls are secret geniuses.

The big shoot for the ep was the Cover Girl commercial. Since the girls always blow memorizing the script, this time they were given a Teleprompter. And it was even in English, so they at least had a sporting chance at doing a competent job. Many of them did: the judges loved Annaleigh's (I thought it was goofy and fake, especially the beginning), and Sheena totally blew me away (she looked and sounded like an actual Cover Girl). Others didn't fare so well. Poor McKey was all awkward pauses and cadence. Marjorie's nerves predictably got the best of her, and she was a stumbling, bumbling fool. (Her performance gave me a reason to trot out that great line from "Superstar": "Your intense energy is making me feel bombarded.") Elina was completely devoid of charm and relatability, and I'm not convinced she isn't secretly a cyborg.

And then poor Joslyn, who had been feeling sick all episode, puked her guts out before her commercial, and tried her best to soldier through. But it was a mess, and her irritating voice and screechy delivery did her in, sending her home.

Her elimination provided us with an interesting scene, though. When it was down to her and Elina (Marj should have been in the bottom, but I think the judges were sick of giving Elina the same critique every week), the camera panned to Sam and Sheena, who were both audibly rooting for Joslyn to come out on top. I have NEVER seen that happen on this show. They've showed girls bummed out by people getting eliminated, but never openly wishing for someone else to get the axe at panel. Kind of stunning. Between this and the recap episode, Elina is certainly emerging as the bitch this season.

Oh, and I forgot the best part of the episode: At the start of panel, Tyra had the girls do a runway in wooden shoes, a la the 6" heel challenge from Cycle 6 (getting a lot of name checks tonight). This was just a lead-in to the reveal of the overseas location for this season, that great fashion hotbed Amsterdam (please note the sarcasm). As much as I'm underwhelmed by the choice, I was ecstatic about the delivery of the news, as it included adorable cartoon frames popping up all over the screen and, better yet, the ASWIRL TWINS DRESSED AS HUMAN WINDMILLS, screaming "It's aswirl, ladies! It's aswirl!" YES! IT IS ASWIRL! And it is amazing! God, I love this show.

So our F6 is Sheena, Sam, McKey, Elina, Marjorie, and Annaleigh. Surprising that all but Sheena are honkies (we've never had a less diverse Final 6), and even more surprising that Annaleigh is still here. Pretty girl, not a model, and if she survives past the next elimination I'm going to get irritated. Her commercial was passable, but her pictures just aren't good.