What do serial killers, white trash hos, and suburban housewives have in common? They're all on my favorite night of television -- Sunday -- in "Dexter," "Rock of Love: Charm School," and "Desperate Housewives." One problem: they're all on at 9 p.m. and my DVR only tapes two shows at once. In comes a little VH1 secret to save the day: VH1 actually plays the first run of its Sunday-night shows at 11 a.m., so I still have the chance to watch all three. It's like a delicious meal of Brandi, Bree, and...Dexter (OK, that last one doesn't really work for the food pun, but you get the idea).

Anyway, since I have three shows to address every Monday, I have come up with a way to succinctly address them: haikus! Oh, my high school English teacher would be so proud...

"Desperate Housewives"

The girls are cold but
Blue Odyssey is so hot
They started a fire

"Dexter"

Watch out for Miguel
He doesn't quite get the code
Harry was right this time

"Rock of Love: Charm School"

This week was good but
Megan and Lily are gone
Where is the drama?

I have to elaborate a little bit here. Once my favorite drama-mama Megan was voted off of "Charm School" I was a bit worried. How could the show carry on without her conniving ways, skimpy bikinis, and somewhat-handicapped dog, Lily? In my panicked state, I began channel flipping and was momentarily engrossed in a show about honeybees. To quote the documentarian, "A queen bee rules supreme, but when she dies, it's every bee for herself and the hive turns into a scene of reproductive chaos." Phew...good thing there are no men in the "Charm School" house -- until next week! Next Sunday just can't come fast enough.