"Top Chef": Green ostrich eggs and ham

By Susie Hume on November 20, 2008

Last night's "Top Chef" went several places the show has never gone before. As Padma put it, it was the first time the chefs were put up for a tasting test against an expert - an interesting idea, no doubt -  but the dish? Hot dogs.

Here's my problem with that: Absolutely none of the chefs' dogs could possibly taste as good as the Brooklyn street vendor's dogs. Do you know why? Because her hot dogs are made from all kinds of gross, nasty bits and pieces that make hot dogs taste so devilishly good, but would make any self-respecting top chef vomit. Trust me, it's true. If hot dogs tasted OK made from chuck (as one contestant used), or lamb (another's choice), we would make them that way. But no, hot dogs taste good precisely because their ingredients are so bad. Hot dog rant done.

That horribly one-sided Quickfire aside, last night's show was, well, kind of boring. I love "Top Chef." I am a "Top Chef" lifer - I'm not one of those people who started the show the second or third season and then caught up through Bravo's endless re-runs; no, I started the show the first season and have never once missed an episode. That being said, the show does have its good and bad days, and last night was one of its middling days.

The elimination challenge was to cook a New American dish (either appetizer, entrée, or dessert) in chef Tom Colicchio's famous NYC restaurant, Craft. That's it? Yup. And another "Top Chef" first: people lined up to do desserts - I mean five people actually willingly volunteered to make a dessert. Unfortunately, one of them was so bad that Padma spit it out in her napkin. And while Padma may look dainty, she's proved to be a pretty tolerant eater in the past. That aside, there was nothing that exciting about last night's show. The top three recipes: an apple pie with cheese (New American? Me thinks not); the winning dish, a spherical feta-olive salad (New? Maybe. American? No.); and cold corn puree, which reminded me of creamed corn...ick.

And in another first, ostrich eggs were used last night to make a quiche. Unfortunately for Jill, this proved to be a foul (get it?) choice, and she was sent home. Arianne was saved for the second time last night (though I think her time is short), but I guess in the world of "Top Chef," disgustingly sweet desserts are better than horribly idiotic statements made in your own defense at judges table. Tonight's "Top Chef"  life lesson: It's better to be too sweet than just plain dumb.