There are times where I swear I'm on crazy pills, when my thoughts on a subject are completely contradictory to the general consensus. Last night's "Idol" was one of those times. Contestant after contestant got through and received praise from the judges, and only one of the supposed "good" auditions we saw featured someone with any real singing talent. I get that Jacksonville was a bust, but that doesn't mean they had to send some of these chuds on through. Such as:

Joshua, the supposed Justin Guarini look-alike (I guess anyone kind of tall with a brownish fro is a Justin look-alike now?), a complete cornball who got through based on goofy sound effects during "Let's Get It On" and a terribly over-affected voice. I mean CHRIST.

Sharon, the asshole who brought in her adorable dog, sang The Carpenters' "Superstar," and had a decent voice with smoky overtones. But still: obnoxious. Did I mention the dog?

Jalesa, the totally non-beautiful beauty queen, who in addition to being barely passable as a pageant singer (which is a pretty low bar), is a total goon. Her voice is abrasive. Her laugh is abrasive. Her face is abrasive. Her entire being is abrasive. UGH.

Jasmine sang Fergie's "Big Girls Don't Cry," so major demerits right off the bat. This girl is so nasal; the entire thing was stuck in her head. I wonder sometimes if this show is ruining this country and its opinions on what good singing is. But she is cute, the judges had that right.

TK Hash sang "Imagine" -- blech -- and totally overdid it. He doesn't have a bad voice, but he relies on vocal acrobatics rather than actual singing, which I have very little tolerance for. He seems like a really nice guy, but he has zero star quality.

Anne Marie was the only legitimately talented contestant of the night, and of course she had to jump through all of these obnoxious hoops to please Simon. I agree that her suck-up bit to Kara was borderline pathetic, but she clearly had the chops before she went out to...take off her blouse and put on some eye shadow? Is this "star quality"? Oh, Simon...

And then they capped off the excruciating hour by butchering my personal happy song, "Walking on Sunshine," at the end, solidifying this as the worst audition episode ever.

PS: I don't comment on the fail auditions, because why bother? But it needs to be said that George Ramirez is a crazy-eyed maniac, and the cops should go search his house now. There is a better than even chance that there are bodies in that basement. He is arguably the creepiest person to ever appear on this show. And that beard on an 18-year-old? How does that even happen?