Well the first hour was excruciating, but by the end of Hour 2 (ugh!) we got at least four pretty good performances out of the evening. Too bad that not all of them will make the Top 12...

Von Smith chose Marvin Gaye's "You're All I Need to Get By," and explicitly noted that he was trying to tone down the shouting after the judges complained about it during Hollywood Week. I think he overcorrected a bit, as the beginning of the song was crazy weak, so as to be almost mewling. But then he got to the high notes in the chorus, and out came the shouty screechy stuff again. Poor kid can't win. I should add that he stayed on pitch for most of the time. But I hope that's not the bar we're setting for this competition at this point. I think the Von's pretty screwed.

Taylor Vaifanua chose Alicia Keys' "If I Don't Got You," and nearly put me in a coma. What a boring song, and a boring rendition of said song. She's 17, but I would have pegged her at closer to 30 with the whole shtick last night. Once again we had a contestant who picked a song that was way too low for her range, and Taylor was clearly just waiting to bust it out in the chorus, but even that was mediocre. DOA.

Alex Wagner-Traugman picked Elton John's "I Guess That's Why They Call It the Blues" as a shout-out to his long-distance relationship (Alex played the pronoun game, but I'm assuming he's straight, not that it matters). And it was AWFUL, like exceedingly bad karaoke where the person makes an ass of himself just to get attention. He kept aggressively growling through parts of the song, and that, when compounded with his awkward, gangly performance, just made for a really unsettling image. The whole thing was patently ridiculous.

Arianna Afsar doomed herself by picking ABBA's"The Winner Takes it All" and then set about destroying the song in every conceivable way. I love me some ABBA, and I think this song in particular is sweeping and romantic and powerful. In Arianna's incapable 17-year-old hands it became joyless and dissonant and dull. It was one of the worst performances of the season, seriously. She decided to "interpret" the song and make it "contemporary" by adding in all this bullshit melisma, completely restructuring most of the melody into this horrific Joni Mitchell-sounding barrage of slurred notes and goaty throat sounds. Her tempo was all over the place. Words can't describe how bad this was.

Ju'Not Joyner picked "Hey There, Delilah" by the Plain White T's. It's the exact same song he sung in Hollywood. I think that's pretty fucking cheap. Ju'not sang it well, putting his nice r&b spin on it. The judges commented on how different it sounded from his Hollywood rendition, but you could have fooled me. He also didn't sing it as well as he did in Hollywood, so he looked doubly lame. But ultimately, this is not "Hey There Delilah" Idol. I'm really disappointed in Ju'Not for such a gutless song choice.

Kristen McNamara went with "Give Me One Reason" by Tracey Chapman, albeit with a much more upbeat arrangement. First, we need to discuss poor Kristen's outfit. She admits herself that she's a style disaster, and ain't that the truth. She looked like she was about to serve me pie in that pink/red waitress-looking outfit with those bizarre frilly epaulets. I just don't understand. Anyway, once you get past the disaster she is on stage, Kristen has a decent bluesy sound, and used the gritty parts of her voice appropriately last night. But as my watching buddy pointed out, there's a distinct lead-singer-in-a-wedding-band quality about her.

Nathaniel Marshall is my personal nightmare, because there but for the grace of God go I - a couple different decisions and that could have been me 10 years ago. That's a disturbing image. Nate seemed a little embarrassed and annoyed at being crowned the Drama King by the "Idol" editors during Hollywood Week (here's an idea, Nate - stop being such a crybaby), and decided to show his "fun" side by singing Meat Loaf's "I Would Do Anything For Love." This was a bad choice. Nate sounded off pitch throughout, but I think at least part of that came from the fact that his naturally whiny-sounding voice was a poor fit for such a bombastic song. And of course, part of it was that he was horrendously flat. But worse than that was his corny performance, which somehow managed to out-camp Normund from last week, with all the pointing and head-bobbing and bouncing and thigh-slapping and - no. I just can't go on anymore. He's just so bad cabaret. This poor kid has no idea who he is, and even allowing him on national television at this point is, in a way, so cruel. I don't think he's fun, I think he's terribly depressing. He kept talking about touching people with his music. Please stop touching me with your music, Nate.

Felicia Barton got put back in the competition after Joanna got the heave-ho (and rightly so). So Felicia has a bit of a chip on her shoulder. She was cut for not being distinct. I don't think last night's performance of "No One" by Alicia Keys changed that, but I definitely took notice of her. Felicia looked fantastic - her hair, her clothes, everything worked - and she did an amazing impression of Alicia, getting just a little screechy in the chorus. She didn't make the song hers in any way, but she proved she can sing and has a very powerful voice. Good for you, Felicia. I actually really like this girl, but I'm concerned she won't get through given the stiff competition in the second half of the night.

Scott MacIntyre, a.k.a. "That Blind Guy," picked Bruce Horsnby's "Mandolin Rain." It's a twee song and perfect for his twee voice. That's not to say it was bad: he has an amazing recording voice, and sounded especially great in the beginning of the song, when it was quiet and little more plaintive. He has a natural soulfulness that I really like. His lower register is much stronger than his higher register, where he tends to lose some control and gets a bit screechy. Not that it matters: he is so "Idol" gold.

Kendall Beard chose Martina McBride's "This One's For the Girls." One the one hand, a great song, because it's totally what she is: cute country chick. One other, not a great song because even Martina sounds strained on it in parts. Kendall did a decent job with it - she got better as she went on, although there were pitch problems - but honestly, I found it all kind of boring. I don't think her voice is particularly interesting. She's just a watered-down Pickler, who herself was a watered-down Cunderwood. It was definitely a bit shrieky, like Simon said.

Jorge Nunez went with Elton John's "Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me." And listen, Jorge, we need to discuss those eyebrows. That aside, this guy can sing like a motherfucker. He did a spectacular job, and I think he probably has the best male voice in the competition. Almost a perfect vocal; he had an Idol "moment." Go Jorge!

Lil Rounds chose Mary J. Blige's "Be Without You," and by note one it became clear that Lil is in a completely different league than everyone else who performed last night, possibly from all three semi-final weeks. Sweet Jesus. She owned the stage, looked great, was totally natural throughout the performance - this woman has STAR QUALITY. Marry me, Lil Rounds. Every other girl who performed last night is thoroughly screwed. I just hope she doesn't lose it and flame out by week five or six, like Mandisa or LaToya London.

My predictions: It's a toss up for the boys between Scott and Jorge, but I'm giving Scott the edge (although I probably shouldn't discount the Latino vote in Jorge's favor...). I suspect that Ju'Not still has a shot, and maybe Von, if the tween crowd embraces him like they did Kris Allen (I hope that's not the case). For the girls, Lil is basically a lock, although Kristen, Felicia, and Kendall could pull some significant votes. I think there are several good wild card candidates in the bunch, especiall for the women, which we need since right now the Top 12 is 2-1 guys to girls. Tonight should be exciting!