So allegedly the theme this week was the iTunes Top 100, but I remain confused as to how almost any of the selections fit that criteria. Are we talking the Top 100 songs from, say, 1976? Or Top 100 Billy Joel songs? Because then, maybe. But almost none of the songs the Idols picked are now, nor have ever been, part of the iTunes Top 100, since most of them pre-date the invention of the Internet by a good two decades

Anyway, the judges and I were on radically different wavelengths last night, as some of the stuff they loved I thought was pretty terrible. Even seemingly non-subjective criteria like "Did they sing on pitch?" seemed to get obscured as they focused instead on the ever-present issue of song choice. Who cares what they chose? Sing it well! Christ!

Anoop Desai "Caught Up" by Usher. Anoop said he was going back to what he was doing in Top 36. Does that mean sucking? Because he sounded terrible last night. The vocals were clearly taking a back seat to his "performance," which was cheesy Vegas lounge act/college talent show. It didn't help that he kept forgetting where the mic was, so he kept coming in and out of the song. He sounded weak and, for someone who was all excited about getting back to the high-energy stuff, it sure was boring. Randy and Paula said that the vocals were great (um, no), and Kara nailed it by calling him out on the frat-guy thing I've been feeling for weeks. Simon had it dead on: it was a wannabe performance. Anoop said he wants to be an R&B artist, but he exhibited absolutely no swagger last night, and almost seemed bored. We're off again, Anoop.

Megan Joy "Turn Your Lights Down Low" by Bob Marley/Lauryn Hill. In what possible way is this contemporary? Wasn't that the explicit point of this theme night? And she picked a song that is decades old? I don't know what else to say about this girl. Her performance was so nasal and affected and just FAKE FAKE FAKE. There is nothing authentic about her. Her tone was especially ear-piercing in this song; I just prayed for it to end. I've never gotten the Bob Marley mystique, and this song is exceptionally boring. I just can't anymore. I'm glad that Simon has finally given up on his pet. Who are Megan's fans? Besides the Vote for the Worst crowd, I mean?

Danny Gokey "What Hurts the Most" by Rascal Flatts. Curious song; also, not THAT contemporary, since it came out two years ago. I think the verse was a little too high for Danny; he sounded strained/shouty on the upper notes, and he looked like he was really pushing throughout the song. His voice continues to sound weaker and weaker every week, which is the exact wrong way he should be going. However, it was still an effective performance. He seemed sincere when he was singing, that's for sure - he always connects with his songs, or at least fakes it believably.

Allison Iraheta "Don't Speak" by No Doubt. Sounded terrific on the verse, a little rough on the chorus. I think she just went overboard with the growl, and it sounded a touch flat in parts. But the beginning really was lovely, and it was powerful throughout. Just a little forced in places. She's young; she'll learn about subtlety. Randy gave her crap for her outfit, but I thought she looked like an adorable rock pixie. It's certainly no worse than some of the shit Megan has worn thus far.

Scott MacIntyre "Just the Way You Are" by Billy Joel. Scott decided to do a stripped-down version of the song (which is already pretty stripped-down to begin with). Problem with that: it really showed off all the flaws in his voice. Parts sounded decent, but he was flat through several chunks, and his voice wavered in all the wrong places. The song also lacked fluidity; it's like it lurched from line to line. The judges loved it, and I will agree that it was his best performance of the Top 12. But I thought they substantially over-praised him. Glad they finally did something about the Conway Twitty hairdo, although it's still pretty stuck in the 80's.

Matt Giraud "You Found Me" by The Fray. I appreciate that he at least did something current, meaning he actually DID the theme. But he was just blatantly aping The Fray, with their marble-mouthed, sleepy delivery. It was almost a carbon copy of the song up until the end, when he got all power-note screamy. I thought he sounded way off in the beginning, but he definitely got better as it went on. Still, the judges savaged him for being a copycat. Can't say as I disagree.

Lil Rounds "I Surrender" by Celine Dion. Oh, LIL. You don't attempt La Dion if you can't nail it, and this song showed off all of her weaknesses as a singer. It got better in the middle, but MAN was she off-key for the majority of it. It's all big, belted notes, and she definitely had the power, but she was just not on the pitch - I wonder if her monitor was screwed up or something. The judges apparently did not hear the same performance I did, because it was cringe-inducing in some parts. But I hope Lil sticks around, if only because I like seeing what new wig she'll come out with next.

Adam Lambert "Play That Funky Music" by Wild Cherry. Oh, how very current! 1976! This theme is the worst. I think Adam may be making the Elvis look permanent after the positive reaction from last week. It's certainly preferable to the gross Lukewarm Topic duds he'd been wearing up until that point. Anyway, the performance: LAME. Sorry, Adam Nation, but I cannot sit here and praise something I could see Will Farrell doing as an impersonation of an "American Idol" contestant. To give him credit, he played with it -- the song was slowed down and had more of a rock beat rather than funk. So I can't call it straight-up karaoke (although this is SUCH a karaoke song). Did he sing it well? Sure. And it was definitely a crowd-pleaser. But it just felt so cheesy! Paula comparing him to Mick Jagger for re-hashing "Play That Funky Music"? COME ON, NOW!

Kris Allen "Ain't No Sunshine" by Bill Withers. Again, how does this fit the theme? Doesn't matter; it's fantastic. Pitch-perfect vocals, and he certainly interpreted the song in a totally different way. Good dynamics. Good musicality. Good connection with what he was singing. His voice sounded amazing, especially when it was on its own. Best of the night, no question. I think he's building at exactly the right time, and the rest of the competition should be looking over their shoulder at this kid.

In trouble: Anoop, Megan (at least she SHOULD be), and Lil has probably run out of chances. I wouldn't be surprised to see Matt or Allison in there. And I suspect that Anoop might have met his end. Fine by me.