I've been lusting for "Top Model" Cycle 12 since the girls' photos were released a few weeks ago. But after the premiere I have to say, I'm not that impressed. There's nothing wrong with this group of modelbes per se. I think it's actually one of the prettier bunches we've had in a while. But even with a first-episode cat fight, even with the threat of epileptic seizures and the blood obsessed, even with a very promising mega bitch in the house, I found myself oddly detached from the proceedings.

The casting episodes are always kind of throwaway - we know all the tricks by now. This time was at least a marked improvement from Cycle 11's embarrassing Tyrabot shtick. This time TyTy took the gals to Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas, and the whole thing was goddess-inspired, which worked fine. The only thing of note was the clash between eventual house bitch Sandra and Buffalo native Angelea, who ultimately did not make the cut. And THANK GOD for that. I'm going to be diplomatic here and just suggest that Angelea and her trashy nails, trashier personality, and total lack of modelesque attributes have no business being on this show. Sad thing is, she reminded me a lot of Jaslene when she first tried out for Cycle 7 and didn't make the house, but then came back and kicked ass in Cycle 8. Could Angelea be haunting my nightmares come fall? Let's all hope not.

Of the 13 that did make it to the house (back in New York again, which is a plus), most of them failed to make any impact whatsoever. Natalie is notable mainly for having a busted-looking nose a la Brooke from C6; Jessica is your classic "rests on pretty" girl; I kept forgetting Nijah existed; Teyona has an alien head but is desperately needs a makeover; I honestly thought Fo was Asian, so I was stunned to discover that she's Mexican/black.

Of the standouts, London's street-preacher shtick didn't annoy me as much as I thought it would, and I thought she got robbed of the first-place photo designation. Allison is as gleefully weird as I hoped she'd be. Kortnie seems really sweet and pretty, but she does not photograph well. Aminat is stunning and statuesque, but seems to have only one look. And I initially dinged Celia for having a man face, but that's not her problem. Her issue is that her neck/chin can look really wrinkly, and even though I like her personality, she's going to have to work on that big time. I thought her close-up shot was appalling.

The two girls that received the most attention were Sandra and Tahlia, and for very different reasons. Sandra was my favorite going into the competition. She's undeniably stunning - prettiest of the bunch. But she came off as both clueless and antagonistic this episode, a mixture we haven't seen since C6's Jade and C10's Dominique, so clearly Sandra has a major Tyra beatdown in her very near future. Thing is, Sandra actually has the goods to back up her stank attitude, so I'm still pulling for her. Could she be the first bitch to win the show? At this point, I'm hoping so.

Tahlia on the other hand...oy. I should say first that the pre-show pictures were not flattering to her. She's much lovelier on camera, and is in fact a very pretty girl. But she is not a model, in any way, shape, or form. She lacks any modelesque features, and she falls into that doomed chasm between regular models (read: skinny bitches) and plus-sized models (read: actual women). She's completely delusional if she thinks she's ever going to be a high-fashion model with the genes she's been given.

The truth is that she's here because she's Tyra's pet "issue" model for the cycle, like last season's transsexual, Isis. Tahlia is a burn survivor, as she was burned very badly as a child and now has serious scarring over a significant portion of her body -- and that's after undergoing several painful surgeries. Throughout the episode people kept referring to Tahlia as being brave for sharing her story and exposing her scars to the world, and I agree. It takes balls to put it all out there in a bikini.

Where I have issues with Tahlia is her idea that the best way to inspire people or further her agenda or whatever it is she's doing is to be a fashion model. During last night's episode Tahlia got very upset after a runway show when she noticed she was the only girl to be almost fully clothed by the designer, because she knew the designer didn't want to expose her scars to the audience. But Tahlia, sweetie -- and I do think she's a sweet girl, just misguided - a fashion show is not the place for you to push your personal issues. It's meant for people to come and see pretty clothes, or to admire the work of a designer. People don't go to runway shows to see what crusade the model of the day is on. They don't care. You're a walking clotheshanger, not a spokesperson.

Which is why I'm so frustrated by Tahlia, and by extension, with Tyra. What Tahlia's trying to accomplish for burn survivors is commendable - she wants to show that you don't have to hide your scars, that you can be accepted for who you are. But there are other ways to do that - write a book, go on the talk-show circuit, get a made-for-TV movie. The fashion industry is not the place. I'm glad Tyra at least pointed out the reality of the situation to Tahlia, that many designers will not be comfortable sending someone with visible, confronting scarring down the runway, while others will exploit and fetishize her situation. I just think Tahlia is yet another example of what I see a lot of in her generation: kids who have been told time and again by mommy and daddy that they're special and can do whatever they want, even if realistically they have absolutely no shot at making it due to their very real personal limitations. Can't sing but still want to be a rock star? You can do it, little Johnny. Lack any modelesque qualities but still want to walk the runway? You can do it, Tahlia. Just go on a reality TV show and all your dreams will come true! Until the next thoroughly expendable kid comes down the line, and then you're yesterday's tool. I mean, news.

Oh, and poor, epileptic Isabella from Virginia got cut first because her photo made her look stumptastic. But she had a great attitude.