S-C-A-N-D-A-L!

Finally, DRAMA! I've been struggling with the fact that, while this season features a number of genuinely pretty girls, it's been awfully dull so far. That fact was underlined when C3's Toccara stopped by last night's episode to talk to the girls about the importance of having a personality, and told the camera straight-up that these bitches are boring. Amen, my plus-sized sister. I bet none of them even hide a rotisserie chicken under their bed. So what we needed was something to set the house off, some kind of real or perceived slight. Allegations of anorexia, someone stealing someone's crystals, even threatening messages carved into a pan of brownies. SOMETHING. And we finally got it when one model led a de facto coup during the judging. YES!

But before all that, the girls got a posing teach from Benny Ninja, who is quickly becoming as useless as Miss J. Expect him to join the panel any season now. The girls put their instruction to use in an amazing challenge, in which they had to pose to music in front of an audience full of broken, bitchy queens who were urged to let the models know what they thought of their posing prowess. What followed was essentially amateur night at the Apollo with a tranny edge, as wannabe model after wannabe model got loudly booed, and only a few - Celia and Natalie, who I still do not get - got the coveted gay finger wag of approval. (Celia won, and is really becoming a threat on the runway.)

Awful Tahlia felt especially dejected by the public dissing, and as always, dealt with it by crying and bitching about how terrible the competition is, and how she wants to go home. The other girls, tired of her drama (wouldn't you be? I'd have drowned the girl by now) made a pact that if anyone but Tahlia got eliminated at the next panel, they would let the judges know about her crapola attitude. Remember that.

After that the girls had to pose for a terrible photo shoot on Ellis Island in which they had to recreate old-timey immigrant portraits while still looking modern and high-fashion. It totally did not work. Most of the shots were terrible, except, wouldn't you know it, Tahlia did well. After three hideous pictures the girl finally lucked into a good shot - although I would hasten to add that Teyona and Allison did better. And while others (London, Fo) got dinged for not integrating their poses with the background models, Tahlia's seeming disconnect wasn't even brought up. I mean, it looked like she was doing a flamenco dance in the middle of the port. Or that she was hustling. Possibly both.

So come call-outs, Tahlia got her pic first, and suddenly seemed all excited about being the competition again. Funny, that. The Bottom 2 came down to Kortnie and Sandra, who both took awful shots. But Sandra's winning photo last week probably pushed her through, and plus-sized Kortnie got the axe. It's a pity, since Kortnie's a gorgeous woman in person. It just doesn't translate to photos, as her four terrible pictures in a row clearly demonstrate.

However! Kortnie's ouster prompted Celia to make a bold move, as she took to the runway to inform Tyra that she thought it unfair that someone who wanted to be in this competition (that'd be Kortnie) was going home when someone who repeatedly whines about wanting to go home (that'd be Tahlia) got to stick around. OH! GIRL!

I totally get where Celia was coming from --- Tahlia whines and cries when things don't go her way, then perks up the minute she gets any positive reinforcement. There's a word for people like her. It's "brat." I'm sure the competition is difficult even under the best circumstances, and is downright soul-crushing when you have almost no modeling ability and no discernible potential in the field. But you know what? The competition was tough for Isis but she never complained the way Tahlia does, and Isis had a penis! So shut it, Tahlia. I find the girl insufferable, I really do. For someone who wants to be a role model she plays that victim card with alarming frequency.

So I'm firmly on Team Celia here. Guess who's not? Tyra. Celia is smart, and should have known better than to interrupt the Great and Powerful Tyra during panel. There are three things you do not steal from Tyra: her light, her thunder, and her barbecued ribs. Tyra was not having it - not only because of the interruption, but probably also because Celia picked on her pet project of the cycle -- and basically told Celia off for throwing Tahlia under the bus (that's not entirely accurate; it's more like Celia hurled her under the bus). I swear if you watch carefully, you can almost pinpoint the moment Celia realized she was well and truly fucked in this competition. It's probably the same moment she crapped her pants.

So next week: the fallout! The preview showed Celia and Tahlia both telling each other that they'd ruined their chances in the competition, while the rest of the house seems to go completely INSANE. Aminat screaming at Natalie! Natalie telling everyone they're stupid! Yes! This is what I wanted!