One thing has defined the current season of "The Amazing Race": incompetence. Teams always goof up now and then as they race around the world. But this season we have seen shockingly bad decisions from team after team. Remember Tammy and Victor's death march through the Romanian hillside? Linda going wildly off course down that mountain, and having to bum a ride off of some kindly Bavarian? Mel and Mike heading to the Thai beach while looking for the gorilla statue? It's a wonder none of these people ended up dead, or sold into white slavery.

But one team has brought "Race" buffoonery to new heights (lows?). Fraternal stuntmen Mike and Mark have yet to have a clean leg - they botch things considerably at nearly every turn. Even their one shining moment of victory in India was overshadowed by their terrible sportsmanship (purposely hiding the rickshaw pumps from the other racers) and inability to read the clue (asking the taxi to lead them). I thought last season's Dandrew was as terrible as things could get, but these two are clueless, unobservant, and just incredibly bad at this game. And worse yet, they're cheats. Last night was the second episode in a row in which they flagrantly broke race rules, incurring massive time penalties at the mat. Had it not been a non-elimination leg they would have been booted from the game. I really wish they had been.

To be fair, Mark and Mike weren't the only idiots on display last night. Sisters Kisha and Jen made the same mistake: in Bangkok, both teams left all of their bags sitting in taxis back at a boatyard, assuming that after they finished their next boat-based task they would return to their starting point. There was absolutely nothing in the clues that would suggest this, and all three other teams smartly took their possessions with them. Not these four dimwits. Kisha and Jen were DOUBLY screwed, because in addition to their bags, they left behind their Amazing Purse, which contained all their money and travel documents. AND one of them left her shoes, so she was running around the (flooded) streets of Bangkok bare foot. Yikes.

The rest of teams did well on the surprisingly short leg. Tasks included affixing a propeller to longtail boat (seemed fairly simple; only Victor had trouble with it), navigating the canals for a special dock, and then a Roadblock that forced the teams to choose between fitting dentures into other people's mouths or singing karaoke in a party taxi with a bunch of Thai trannies. I don't even understand how that is a question. Your options are rummaging through bowls of false teeth and sticking your hands in the diseased mouths of other people, or whooping it up with totally broke party girls. Tranny taxi all the way.

Only mother/son team Margie and Luke chose the teeth, which seemed to have been a better choice speed-wise, since they came in first. It's interesting to note that, at the end, Margie made a little joke to her son that she did everything that leg. And she's absolutely right. Margie put the propeller on the boat. Margie navigated the canals. Margie fitted all five of their toothless models after Luke gave up after failing to find matching dentures for just ONE of them. She has pulled her son through this entire race - she was even pulling HIM in a rickshaw in the blazing heat, which led to her collapse at the finish line last episode. I'm hard pressed to think of what he has contributed AT ALL, aside from orchestrating the boot of Amanda and Kris, which was a pretty shitty move (at least let Kris get to the naked Siberian running challenge, for Pete's sake).

I've blogged before about how Luke is a spoiled brat, and the previews for next episode show him getting downright nasty with either Kisha or Jen (they're so devoid of personality I cannot be bothered to figure out which one is which), shoving her at least twice, and then Luke and his mom crying to Phil that she called him a bitch in response. Luke IS a bitch, and I think he's a terrible ambassador for the deaf community.

The thing is, there are really no likable teams left in the race. The redheaded cheerleaders are generally terrible human beings. One of them in particular (again, can't tell them apart) is among the most offensive racers in recent memory, constantly screaming at and/or demeaning taxi drivers and other workers and showing open contempt for anyone who speaks a foreign language. She is the very definition of "ugly American" and I cringe whenever she's on screen. Kisha and Jen are uninteresting and generally crappy racers (they should thank their lucky stars that Mark and Mike are even worse players than they are). Tammy and Victor are the closest thing I've got to favorites, and lest we forget, they've been throwing shade throughout as well. Mostly Victor, though. Tammy I like.

Which brings us back to Mike and Mark, who are thoroughly screwed next episode. They are now broke, after spending hundreds of dollars taking taxis back to the docks to get their stuff. They will start nearly four hours after the other teams, after getting slapped with two huge penalties for bartering personal items to pay off the massive cab fare. And they have a Speed Bump to look forward to, a task only they will have to perform. I pray that this will be the end of them, because I am weary of watching them botch every task in every conceivable way. You know you're pathetic when even I can't take any pleasure out of watching your misfortune.