"American Idol" 2009: Disco inferno

By Susie Hume on April 21, 2009

Disco? Seriously? I don't know why people keep reminding us that the Disco Era existed - can't we just erase it from our collective memories? Apparently not, since "American Idol" has decided to dedicate an entire night to it.

The show jumped immediately into Lil Rounds performance of Chaka Khan's "I'm Every Woman." They rushed to her performance so quickly that I thought it was just a show-opener and not her actual performance until they ran her number across the screen. Where was our sappy video, interview, or guest star? None of that tonight. Apparently the producers are sick of the complaints they've been getting about the show running over. And since I was screwed two weeks in a row out of the show's last five or 10 minutes, I'm OK with the decision.

Lil's song also seemed incredibly short, but not because it sounded good. It was completely forgettable, dull, and frankly, I'm just ready for her to disappear from the competition. I've never actually been a Lil Rounds fan, but lately she's just going through the motions and it's painful to watch. Randy described her performance as "wild" (in a bad way) but I honestly think he was just trying to think of a different way of telling her that she's done. Kara said we have all been waiting for her to sing Chaka Khan, but that it wasn't worth the wait - ouch! Paula jumped to her rescue by saying she didn't have a voice just the day before, but seriously, let's stop making excuses for her! Simon commented on how sad she looked, but then knocked her down by saying this will be the last week we will see her. Lil responded, again disagreeing with the judges that she did not sound karaoke. Why does Ryan keep giving her a chance to defend herself? She just digs her own grave, as evidenced by last week.

Ryan came back from the commercial with Kris Allen ready to start playing; after an extremely short interview about his song choice, they jumped right in again with no flash or gloss. I could get used to this! Kris sang Donna Summer's "She Works Hard for the Money" while playing guitar. Man, he just keeps on proving me wrong! I seriously didn't even notice the kid until a few weeks ago, and out of nowhere he is one of my favorites, if not my favorite singer, in the whole competition. The arrangement was contemporary and suited his voice extremely well. This time the short song arrangement felt short in a bad way -- in fact, just how short have they cut the performances to tonight? Losing the drawn-out interviews and fluff is great, but cutting the song time is not cool.

The judges loved the performance: Kara gave him props; Paula makes some ridiculous analogy about men shopping in the women's department (what?), which Simon promptly picked on her for, and then he complimented Kris' un-karaoke performance.

After commercial Ryan shot us right into Danny's performance - no interview at all - in which he sang Earth Wind and Fire's "September." While Danny was my favorite from the beginning of the competition, he sounded, well, tired tonight. That or I'm a bit tired of the same ol' same ol' from him. I mean, I love his voice and I think he's adorable, but I just want to be blown away by him again like I used to be. He set the bar so high for himself early on that he's having trouble reaching it now, whereas I had no expectations for someone like Kris, and now he's my shining star. The judges gave him their typical compliments, but even they don't seem as excited as they used to be about him. C'mon, Danny, knock it up a notch! Do something new, different, or just over the top to remind us why we love you.

Ryan barely spoke to Danny before the stage was cleared and a set opened up in back for Allison's rendition of "Hot Stuff." Allison did a slower, more rock-ish rendition, which worked well for her, but I'm not sure how well it worked for the song. Before I have time to even think about whether or not I liked it, it was over. I know I sound like a broken record, but what is with the 30-second songs? We need to cut the performances to 30 seconds so that the judges can go on for ages with gems from Randy like "I didn't really love it, but I love you"? Yeah, we've never heard that before. They all agreed it may have been a bit too slow, but they reiterated how much they love her. And I do too. I hope she's safe again this week. We're losing two tomorrow, and I can think of at least three who should go home before she does.

Adam sang "If I Can't Have You" from the "Saturday Night Fever" soundtrack - I thought soundtracks were last week? Now I have to hear a soundtrack disco song? Ugh. But I was pleasantly surprised when I realized this is not a typical shriek-y Adam song - I know he's everyone's favorite, but I just can't take his screeching sometimes. I must be getting old or something. And then, just when I thought we were getting a sweet ballad, he jumped in with some of his signature shrieks. At least it was short-lived, tame, and I ended up being OK with it.

Paula looked like she might cry, and while I think Adam sounded good, I just didn't get it. All of the judges loved him, complimenting his range, originality, and outfit (a nice satin-y skinny suit), but I was just un-wowed. Paula said she felt as if he tore his heart out and left it on stage. What? I must just be missing something. I am definitely not Adam's biggest fan, but I am happy to give him credit when it's due. With this performance I thought he was just OK. I think part of my problem with the night in general was that it's hard to establish any emotional connection to a song that's over almost as soon as it begins; there's no build, no repeating chorus, no chance for us to be moved as the song grows to a conclusion. I promise I will set my DVR for an extra 10 minutes every week -- or even (gasp) watch the show live -- if they could just let the singers sing full-length songs.

The "saved" Matt Giraud sang "Staying Alive" by the Bee Gees -- what a cute choice. Gag me. At least he wore a hat to cover that hideous zit! The performance was extremely karaoke, and I think either Matt already knew he was going home this week or he thought this is what the judges wanted. Either way, I hope he's going home. The judges seemed to feel like they had to be nice since they saved him last week, but you can tell that they were just trying to think of nice things to say. Except for Simon, of course, who called the performance desperate. Thank you, Simon! I don't need it sugarcoated, and neither does Matt!

Anoop closed out the show with some song I don't know, and I can't even tell you the name because Ryan didn't even introduce the song! I'm guessing it was called "Dim All the Lights" or "Dance the Night Away," but either way it doesn't really matter because it was not good. In fact, this song seemed to last forever. And strangely, Anoop had a scruffy, 5 o'clock shadow going on, which is an off-putting look for him. Please shave for eliminations, Anoop! Go out in style!

Randy said something about how it proves how great the top seven is this year because Anoop "hit that note and that note." Shouldn't the singers in the top seven -- even the top 20 --  be able to hit all of the notes? Why were the judges being so nice?!? At least Simon called the performance mediocre, citing it as Anoop's worst performance to date. And I agree, but don't really care. I think even the judges had trouble judging tonight because of short song time.

Tomorrow night two of the seven will go home, and we'll be down to our final five! And by then, maybe the show will be able to give the singers at least a minute to belt out their tunes.

In trouble: Matt, Lil, and Anoop. I'm guessing that Lil and Matt are going home, but people might pick up the phone and save Matt since they already know he's in trouble. Either way, our final five should definitely include Adam, Danny, Allison and Kris.