Man, Tyra totally out-asshole'd herself last night. You know I love the woman - I would kill to have lunch with her - but she came off really poorly in last night's episode. She started by tasking the girls to recreate "signature" face poses from some of her past shots (lamest challenge in "Top Model" history!). She continued by doling out totally nonsensical, borderline offensive advice at panel. ("A model's job is to look better in pictures than she does in person." Really? I thought it was a model's job to look good period. I mean, what about runway work?) And she peaked by completely ignoring the girls' performances this week at call-outs so she could launch into a self-serving lecture that ultimately wrapped right back around to what's most important: Tyra. It's so hard to support her sometimes...

But first: DRAMA! After last week's glorious panel meltdown, when Celia totally ratted out crybaby Tahlia for not wanting to be in the competition, the house went insane. As Celia, Allison, and Natalie tried to rationalize the bus-throwing, Aminat apparently lost her mind and decided to stick her face in other people's business because she was so upset over Celia sticking her face in someone else's business. There's logic for you. I've been lukewarm on Aminat so far - stunning girl, but she has only one look - but I lost whatever respect I had for her during that ugly altercation. She literally got up in Natalie's face and called her stupid (repeatedly) and worthless. Classy. It should be noted that her lapdog, Teyona, also got into the high-school antics with some underwhelming shade-throwing.

As for Tahlia, she launched into a pity-poor-me diatribe (Allison hilariously referred to it as "a little too ‘Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul'" for her to take seriously) about how embarrassed she was and blah blah blah. I suspect that she was seriously embarrassed, and I agree that Celia probably should have handled the situation differently. But I remain firmly on Team Celia because 1) she at least followed through on her shit-talking, which on this show is a rare feat indeed; 2) everything she said about Tahlia was completely accurate; and 3) I agree with her point that it's unfair for someone who wants to be in the competition to get eliminated over someone who doesn't want to be there, especially when that person has no business being in a modeling competition in the first place.

I cannot underscore that point enough. Tahlia is far from hideous, but she is NOT a model. The judges continually handle her with kid gloves at panel, and are overly effusive about the moderately good photos she takes while they virtually ignore some of the girls who have done consistently good work, like London or Fo. (And not a single word on Tahlia's outfits, which look like she's at the mall and about to stop by Auntie Anne's for a pretzel?) The fact that she has somehow managed to survive through FIVE eliminations now is starting to hurt the show's credibility. (Not that it had credibility before, but you could at least play along.)

The photo shoot for the week was essentially a rip-off of the paint-splattered beauty shot from Cycle 10, as each girl was doused in a different-colored powder and then told to evoke that hue in a face-only shot. The vast majority of the photos lacked any connection with the colors - Aminat decided that green represented "earth" and looked...like she always does; Allison deduced correctly that pink should be "girly" but looked timid and awkward as usual; Natalie gave nothing to orange; and Teyona spent 90 percent of her shoot smiling like a crazy person while embodying yellow (and yet, curiously, her chosen photo was one of the few non-smile shots, which bolsters the online speculation that she's favored to win the cycle). The only notables were a strong, silver Celia and a red-hot red Fo.

And yet somehow, Celia ended up in the Bottom 2 with Sandra. Sandra deserved it, as her white shot made her look like a zombie. There's no other way I can describe it. I don't know how such a naturally beautiful woman can photograph so poorly, but that's Sandra for you. Tyra specifically selected a head-on shot since the panel was tired of all her profile or 3/4-profile shots (it really is all she's done), and it was gruesome; one of the worst shots in "Top Model" history. But Celia in the Bottom 2? Come on. That was only so Tyra could dish out the bitch, calling her out for "messing with another model's money" last week. (As if Tahlia could actually make money modeling.) Tyra revealed that this was a personal issue to her, since she had to struggle with another model getting in her business for years. And that model is obviously her noted rival Naomi Campbell, who I thought she'd buried the hatchet with on the "Tyra" talk show last year. But apparently those old grudges have a way of hanging around.

Celia - who is looking better and more fresh-faced every week, and her makeover has done wonders for her - had no business even being in danger (certainly not with Natalie's awful photo, or even London's blue picture, which featured make-up that made her look severely beaten). But thankfully she escaped, hopefully to stir up shit another day. That means Sandra went home. It pains me, because she was my pre-show favorite. Gorgeous girl. Has no idea what she's doing. I also suspect she's pretty dumb. Ah, well.