Cat Deeley came out looking like she wrapped herself in a crimson bed ruffle. I was good with it. Lil C was the guest judge. UGH. He is insufferable. Even when Cat asked him a perfectly innocuous question ("Did you watch last week's episode at home?") he had to go into some ridiculous, babbling response. My friend thinks he just keeps talking in the hope that people will think he's smart. I think there's probably something to that theory. One thing's for sure: the man LOVES to talk and drops $10 words like he was brushing up on the dictionary before showtime.

Randi and Evan danced a jive routine by Louis Von Amstel (please eat a sandwich) to "Shake a Tail Feather" by Ray Charles. I just have to say this: SHAKE IT, BITCH! Randi was on fire, and was having a ton of fun up there, which was the entire point. There was something very Kellie Pickler about her during the number (that is a good thing). Some really great moves, including one where Randi snapped back up into Evan. Fast feet, lots of bouncing, great energy. Oddly enough, I felt like Randi was leading the routine. Evan was still very, very good, but I could not stop watching Randi. Mary thought it fell a bit short of her expectations. She's the ballroom expert, so I'll defer to her, but from a layman's perspective, it was thrilling. Nigel pointed out that Evan lost the bouncing in the knees, and that his retractions weren't as snappy as they could have been. In hindsight, I thought the judges were way too harsh.

Melissa and Ade got a jazz routine by Sonya Tyeh to "24 Hours" by Terry Poison. ADE: GET RID OF THE AFRO PICK. It makes me dislike you. Seriously. The two of them seemed leaden;  the whole thing looked heavy. There was nothing graceful about the beginning of the performance at all. Even when they were getting off the floor it looked like they were working at it. The storytelling was not there AT ALL. I liked the routine as a whole - I like most of Sonya's work - but I don't think they got it. Lil C called it "buck," because he is useless. He then said that Ade was everybody's real competition. Really? Because I didn't pay the slightest bit of attention to him during the routine. Mary loved it. Um, really? You're going to act like that was better than Randi and Evan? Please.

Caitlin and Jason pulled a hip-hop routine by the returning Shane Sparks to "Missin You" by Trey Songz. Caitlin was not hitting it hard enough. But when she had her solo, she brought it. That said, her face was a little manic. Her acrobatics helped her again with a cool back roll. I thought Jason was quite good, but Caitlin let him down . I say that, and I love her. Lil C spouted more bullshit; apparently it was missing some "nectar." What the fuck does that even mean? Mary was right that the two of them didn't seem in synch. Nigel liked it. Huh. Didn't expect that.

Jeanette and Brandon got a disco routine by Doriana "Dirty" Sanchez to "Loving is Really My Game" by Brainstorm. I call bullshit on Brandon's "secret" that he's never been to the gym a day in his life. You do NOT get a body like that without using a variety of weight lifting techniques. It can't just be from dancing. The judges always talk about how ballroom is tough, but to me, disco seems the most challenging  genre. There's so much speed and physicality involved. The routine was super fast and super energetic, although some of the moves were not completely in synch. It didn't matter: it was funky and a little sleazy, like all good disco should be. Lots of tricks and lifts from Brandon, and he shook his ass all over the stage - he clearly loved it. Jeanette took a backseat  this week, for sure. It was probably the best choreography we've ever seen from Sanchez. The judges all loved it. So did I.

Asuka and Vitolio got a waltz by Louis Von Amstel to "Dreams Are More Precious" by Enya. Oh no, Enya. The sound of death. But not for this couple, which was lovely. There was an extremely graceful knee slide by Asuka, which led to a beautiful death spiral led by Vitolio. Asuka was giving mad face, Vitolio was giving me nothing; he looked like he was concentrating extremely hard. Asuka was just beautiful and soft and frankly captivating. A gorgeous number altogether. I just wish Vitolio put some more emotion into it. He is clearly a strong dancer, but he doesn't emote at all, at least that I could see. Mary felt that he had never been more honest, so what do I know?

Kayla and Max got pop-jazz by Brian Friedman to "Hot Like Wow" by Nadia Oh. We haven't seen Friedman for at least two seasons, so that's cool. He did some great stuff in the first couple seasons. Very Middle Eastern inspired song and number. Kayla remained amazing. She looked like a bird and popped with ferocity. Max, as always, was there. She was doing ballet moves, acting, making the most of her long, lanky limbs. Her faces were outstanding. And I got the story completely, a bit about a dancer trying to steal a princess's throne. The judges liked it, and Kayla stayed on the Hot Tamale Train for a second week - note that Max got left behind. I would love to see Kayla paired with a stronger male dancer, because right now she is the only one in that couple making it happen on that stage.

Karla and Jonathan pulled contemporary by new choreographer Stacey Tookey (from "So You Think You Can Dance Canada") to "Falling Slowly" by The Frames. I was very nervous for Jonathan coming into this week, but talk about a redemption story. This was technically very good, and they had a great connection. They needed to really bring it this week, and I think they did. Jonathan impressed the shit out of me. He was alternately strong and emotional. Mary said he did that style better than his own; it's TRUE. Seriously, he sucked in his own genre last week, but he was fantastic this time around. Nigel said he was totally blown away. I still don't like Karla, but if it means more Jonathan, I'm fine with it. Now, what can we do about losing his shirt?

Jeanine and Phillip drew a tango routine by Tony Meredith to "Violento" by Bailango. This was the disaster of the evening, and sucked all the energy out of the night. They looked hesitant from the start, Phillip in particular. The routine got better as it went on, although it seemed to lack speed. Jeanine was very sexy and she was giving some attitude. My friends thought Phillip was counting steps. He did not seem comfortable. There was no passion whatsoever, and that's kind of essential when it comes to the tango. Mary gave them an A+ in attitude and a C- in technique. I thought that was way too kind. Mary then called Lil C out on not knowing what the hell he was talking about re: Phillip's bent knees. Thank god someone's willing to deflate that airbag. Nigel practically begged America to keep Phillip on the show. I've never seen him stump that blatantly for a dancer; I guess he knows he's screwed if both his hip-hoppers get cut in the first two weeks.

Ashley and Kupono, hip-hop routine by Shane Sparks to "Imma Be" by Black Eyed Peas. It was a very fast, very hard popping routine, and I thought they did a really solid job. The story was Ashley was Kupono's shadow, and then she came to life and they danced together. They had believable attitude. Ashley kind of outdanced Kupono a bit, but not by much. I was pleased to see Kupono turned down the girliness from last week. Lil C said that Kupono struggled (he didn't), and said there was "no synchronization to be found" (again, not correct, as evidenced by the playback). The slow-down bit was kind of a mess, but altogether I thought it was a pretty decent routine that the judges were way too hard on. Nigel was disappointed that the four dancers who did Shane's choreography didn't do him justice. Eh; Shane'll live.

Predictions:  Again, nobody was completely dreadful. The closest we came was Phillip and Jeanine, and even they had redeemable moments. I would put Ade and Melissa in the Bottom 3, but people seem to love her. Caitlin and Jason could be in the bottom too. And Ashley and Kupono, if the viewers believe the judges rather than their own eyes.

A final plea: Dear producers, after seeing what a disaster Lil C was on this week's show - his babbling idiocy, his clearly not knowing what the hell he's talking about in other styles, his painful wasting of precious time - can you please, please never put him on the judging panel again? Use him as a choreographer if you must. (Although at this point krump is about as dead as the Charleston; it was a fad dance. What's next, a routine based around the Macarena?) But he really does the judging panel a disservice with his asinine comments.