July 28, 2009 at 11:30pm
Finally, the debut of "More to Love" a.k.a. "Fat Bachelor" a.k.a. "The Fatchelor," as my bitchy friends refer to it. We've been watching promos for Fox's new dating show for months. At first my friends thought it was a joke - a dating show that features 20 plus-sized women vying for the affections of one plus-sized man. But it's very real, and very serious, and the show actually raises some interesting ethical issues about America's complicated relationship with weight, and television's tendency to exploit, well, everything.
I suppose the most obvious question regarding "More to Love" is WHY? Do we need a dating show devoted to fat people? Why segregate them from shows that feature "normal"-sized contestants? And note that I use that term ironically; as "More to Love" explicitly points out, the average person in America looks more like the contestants on this show than the model-esque women squaring off on "The Bachelor." Whether or not that's a good thing is a whole ‘nother debate. But why automatically make the assumption that bigger people wouldn't have a chance dating someone who's physically fit? That they can only date people who are also overweight? In that way, shows like VH1's "Flavor of Love" are more forward-thinking than this one, since Flav had big girls mixed in from the start. Hell, he even picked juicy-bootied Deelishis as the winner of the second season. (True, he dumped her almost immediately, but he DID pick her as the winner.)
The second, and more troubling question is, is the show exploiting its cast? Certainly the bachelor in question, Luke Conley (26, 6'2", 330 lbs.) seemed to be having the time of his life the first episode, fairly brazenly putting the moves on several of the women (I counted at least two kisses). And good on him; I guess if you're in the situation of being the only piece of man-meat in an alcohol-chummed fish tank full of horny women, you should go for it. But I worry about some of these women. On other dating shows you know that a good chunk of the contestants are basically famewhores. Certainly it's tough in the post-ironic age to believe that any hot 20something babe, no matter how skanky she may be, is legitimately interested in kissing up on a has been like Bret Michaels. They want to be famous. Excuse me, "famous."
But on "More to Love," many of these women seem to seriously be there looking for love. Maybe a couple are desperate for TV time - and all of them are probably desperate for attention in one way or another, since they're on a television show - but watching several of these women weep as they talked about this being their "one shot at true love" was deeply disturbing. Do they actually believe that? Because, if so, that's a problem. I understand that being overweight can lead people to feel alienated, especially when it comes to romantic relationships. (And I can sympathize; I've been at least mildly overweight since grade school, during high school/college I was extremely overweight.) But if these women really think that the only way they're going to find "true love" is to go on a nationally broadcast TV program and simultaneously date one guy with 19 other ladies, with their every move televised and dissected, I am genuinely concerned about their mental stability. And are we complicit in any potential breakdowns by watching it happen?
All those big questions aside, is the show any good? Based on the first episode, I suppose - at least as good as any "Bachelor"-type show can be. At least the VH1 "Of Love" shows strip away any pretense of actual romance happening in such a manufactured setting, and depend on the ridiculous personalities and over-the-top drama to keep us hooked. But the original recipe "Bachelor" shows, through all their ratings ups and downs, aren't all that compelling, especially in the beginning before we're invested in any of the candidates.
After the first episode I decided that I think Luke is fine. He's got a nice smile and he seems genuinely kind. (Perhaps too kind; I got a little nervous when he was taking special care of the girl who had never been on a date in her life (!), and held her hand and gave her his jacket; when/if that goes south the mental scars on that one are going to be deep.) But he also appears to be something of a cad, and that's a good combo for a leading man on these shows. As for the women, my viewing party was instantly voting for pretty, sweet Melissa (the one who just came back from studying abroad) and the plus-sized model in pink (Anna? I forget the names). I was also intrigued by alterna-chick Bonnie, who got an awful lot of screentime despite having very little interaction with Luke. That suggests to me that she'll have a large role to play in the series, whether it be as the house bitch, the longshot, or the eventual winner. Hmm...
It should also be noted that my viewing party was making all sorts of cracks at the contestants - not for their weight, typically, but for their hair (why was it all so stringy?) and for their poor clothing choices (so many of these women picked dresses that were deeply unflattering to their figures; why wear something that makes you look heavier than you are?). I'd like to argue that the fact that we were picking on these girls the way we'd pick on any of the skinny bitches on "The Bachelor" is actually a form of equality. But really we're just evil, heartless assholes.
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Comments for ""More to Love": Size matters" (1)
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Stephie said on Jul. 29, 2009 at 1:09pm
I love you! I couldn't agree more with every single word! First I had a mini-watching party and the first thing that was brought up why the weight? I mean on the Bachelor/Bachelorette they don't put 5' 1" 100lbs (soaking wet) but we finally came to a consensus that since it was a "weight" related show they wanted to put it up there. Fine. But you're so right there were some very desperate women they looked almost in tears at the elimination! I mean you met this guy what 2 hours ago and you're going to shed a tear? LOL OMG Hell no! I would have shed a tear over loosing the ring Diamonds ARE a girls BFF! I am a big girl I'm 5' 9" and well I'm not about to tell my weight! But trust...I'm a big girl I have NEVER repeat: NEVER had a problem getting a date even after I was married! Have I been rejected because of my size, of course! Am I crying about it, whining about it? No.
Luke mentioned last night he was interested in a woman with confidence, many of the girls he picked seemed to have that. Many did not, case in point the young girl who had never been on a date at 21 yrs old. I think her name was Melissa I could be wrong. But she's GORGEOUS! She has a beautiful face and if she'd just realize they are not rejecting you, it's a preference. Some men just don't want a big girl. It's nothing personal she'll go a lot further in life.
Another comment we made that you also made was the hair! OMG - Honey they were in desperate need of a Make Over! The hair!! I wondered what on earth you dressed up you put yourself in heels and you didn't do your hair?! Some had good hair - kudos to them! But I hope they pull it together as the show goes on.
One last comment: It was so nice to see big girls represented in a gorgeous way...now not all of them can be fabulous. But many of them were in my opinion. It's nice to see. I may be a big girl but I've never dressed, acted or felt like one. That doesn’t mean I wear size inappropriate clothing (which several last night should have reconsidered their dresses) it means that I get up and dress in something that is flattering, I do my hair and makeup, my nails my jewelry and I go out like a $1M even if I'm heading to the grocery store. It's all about the attitude, and you can look good at any size. You can also look tragic at any size.
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