Opening number: a bizarre, heavily costumed number with a gigantic frame set to a song from "The Wiz." I didn't understanding what was happening. The art piece came alive? What fucked-up art piece was this supposed to be? Between the crappy sophomore-level choreography and the prop, I guessed that it was a Tyce DiOrio number. And bingo, that's exactly who it was. God, he's terrible. When will Nigel realize the Emperor has no clothes?

Results. First two couples: Vitolio and Karla, Evan and Randi. I figured both of these two teams would be in the bottom, but one is safe. I think Karla and Vitolio did an admirable job in a very tough situation (new couple, tough genre, demanding routine), but honestly, I simply don't care about the two of them. They're BORING. Randi and Evan were ridiculously over-critiqued by the judges for what was a fabulous Broadway routine. My roommate pointed out that the two of them make a great couple - probably the strongest team of the season, I think. And they're safe! Thank god. I desperately hope Karla and Vitolio end up going home; this'll be the third time both of them have been in the Bottom 3.

Second group: Janette and Brandon, Kupono and Kayla, Melissa and Ade. Janette and Brandon were ferocious in a fiery cha-cha. (Also, I am completely addicted to that Pussycat Dolls song; damn you, PCD! Even though I should know better, you keep dragging me back in!) And they were safe, of course. They've grown on me considerably. K&K had a very grim jazz number, and I thought it was a really solid number. Melissa and Ade were transcendent in the classical pas de deux, especially Melissa, who is REALLY emerging as a woman to beat in this show. I hoped they don't get put into the bottom for that routine - I want more ballet in the future - but I also didn't want Kayla in danger. Melissa and Ade were safe; Kayla and Kupono were sent to dance for their lives. Mia called them the best performance of last night - I don't think that's accurate - but I desperately hoped that Kayla escaped the cut. She is the star of this season to me.

That left Jason and Caitlin and Phillip and Jeanine as the final two couples, and that one seemed like a foregone conclusion. Not only does Phillip have a very strong voting bloc, but he and Jeanine were awesome in their hip-hop number. Meanwhile, Jason and Catilin have struggled the past three weeks. The choreography they've been given has been kind of off -- last night's was terrible -- and Caitlin in particular has never really lived up to her potential. If Jason was partnered with, say, Kayla, I bet he would be one of the top guys in the competition. But somehow Jason and Caitlin escaped the Bottom 3!

That made Phillip and Jeanine, Kayla and Kupono, and Karla and Vitolio the Bottom 3. That's not at all what I was expecting going into� tonight, but I hope the end result is the same, with Karla and Vitolio getting the axe. But prior to solos, I felt that Kupono or Jeanine could potentially be expendable. Kayla and� Phillip? Absolutely not.

After another interlude from professional dancers (these are really amazing to watch, but impossible to critique; it's basically moving art), solo time. Karla has yet to impress me with her solos. She does this bird thing that scrams...inessential to me. Clearly she has skill, but compared to the remaining women? She screams chaff. Vitolio is a gorgeous dancer , and his solo was quite strong - powerful and controlled. I wish he could put a bit of his personality into his routines, because he's always so fucking stoic during his actual numbers. Frustrating. Kayla came out and put her entire body into her solo. She's just incredible.� Kupono did a very restrained solo almost devoid of tricks, and compared to Vitolio's bombastic performance, I'm not sure that was a great choice on his part. Jeanine took a while to warm up into her solo, but finally broke out some kicks and a pirouette. I'd still rate it higher than Karla's, that's for sure. Phillipfinally got to do what he does best, and it was good. But it also reminded me just how crappy our hip-hop selection was this year. He was really strong in the first half in particular.

Then: KELLY CLARKSON! Love her. And really like this song ("I Do Not Hook Up"); not sure why it's not a bigger hit. And take a fucking memo, teen pop poseurs: that bitch sang every note live. And it still sounded pretty good. Kudos to her; never change, KClar.

Girls results: The judges were unanimous in their decision. The judges told Jeanine she had the strongest solo of the evening (I would say that was Vitolio), and she's safe. Kayla was critiqued for being "stagnant" in her solo, and that she just threw in a bunch of kicks and arabesques. Whatever; I thought it was good. And then Karla got snuffed for not having star quality. A-doy. She was probably the most boring girl in the entire Top 20. She knew it was coming.

Guys results: The judges were also unanimous. Phillip was dinged for overworking it in his solo. Eh, whatever. And Nigel also said that the judges felt he has an awful lot of work ahead of him keeping up with the other genres, and he's safe. Vitolio was credited with having great presence on stage (I disagree), but little show. Kupono was told off for his spectacularly weak solo. I agree. But Kupono still got a pass: L-U-C-K-Y. I just think they didn't want Kayla getting another new partner, honestly. Otherwise Kupono probably would have gone home.

So the most predictable results show so far of the season. But I can't complain. The two I wanted to go home did, and we're left with a pretty strong Top 6 couples. At this point I think just about all of the chaff has been removed. I care about just about all the remaining dancers, and will be sad to see just about any of them leave.