Boy, they can't wait to wrap this season, can they? Last night's episode should have been the climax - the big fashion show we've been building up to all season. But the whole thing felt perfunctory, matter-of-fact, and really kind of blah. I think even Bravo is over this show, or at least these four designers.

There was absolutely no fanfare. The Final 4 designers - Daniella, Anna, Reco, and James-Paul - arrived back in New York City after a couple months, and then got to work readying their 10-piece collections for the runway. There was no checking in with the designers during the design/creation process. There was no model selection. There was no last-minute challenge before the final runway. Isaac and Kelly didn't even appear to look at the clothes prior to them going down the runway. It all seemed so odd to me.

At the actual fashion show you got a clear sense of how respected this show is by the fashion community. And the answer is, it isn't. The ONLY big-name designer in the audience was Betsey Johnson. Beyond that, it was the eliminated designers from this show, Laura Bennett from "Project Runway" 3, and a shitload of those "Real Housewives" bitches. Not exactly a crowd of "fashion insiders."

Daniella was up first (to see a slideshow of her collection, click here). She took her inspiration from armor, and named each look in her collection after a strong woman in her family. It's no secret to anyone reading this blog that I can't stand Daniella. Her entitled princess ass sets my teeth right on edge. But her collection wasn't bad. Certainly it was interesting, modern, and mostly well made. One of the judges pointed out that she was doing some interesting things with shoulders - building them up, taking them down, leaving them bare - and it created a throughline for the collection.

There were some pieces I really liked (the fifth photo in the slideshow was probably my favorite), but the thing that struck me about the line was that so much of it is simply impractical. What woman would want to wear skintight leather pants/tights hybrids? What woman would want to wear a vest made out of what appeared to be chain mail armor? What woman would want to wear a leather bustier that looked made of rubber, and which moved independently of the model? Many of these elements were paired with gauzy tops that looked like they would blow off in a stiff wind.

The line certainly had a point of view and a vision, but it did not appear commercial to me at all. Which is why I was so dumbfounded when guest judge Glenda Bailey (editor at Harper's Bazaar) said that Daniella's collection featured a number of "signature" items any woman would want for her closet. NAME ONE. Seriously, do not understand. (Also, I would be remiss if I didn't point out that Daniella apparently created her own music for the show, and provided the vocals as well. At least I think that's what she said; it was difficult to hear over everyone in my viewing party commenting on how no sane person would ever buy/wear any of her clothing. But it just underscores the fact that this 22-year-old girl really does think she knows best about EVERYTHING. I wonder, has anyone ever told her "No" in her life? I doubt it.)

Second was Anna (click here for the slideshow), who used the Hieronymus Bosch painting "The Garden of Earthly Delights" as the starting point for her line. Anna was my favorite going in, so I was predisposed to like this. But I ended up loving it. I thought every one - EVERY ONE - of her pieces was beautiful, interesting, intelligent, and above all else, wearable. There were some really lovely prints, a couple bold gowns (the photo of No. 11 in the slideshow doesn't do it justice; the skirt ballooned out behind the model, and the fabrics were the most magnificent jewel tones), and some chic separates. I believe she also did a fitted poncho, and she made it work.

So of course, the judges hated it. That's probably too strong a word, but Glenda specifically said that she was disappointed that Anna didn't give them more. All of the judges said they didn't feel it was cohesive (bullshit; the color scheme and prints alone reflected the painting without being overly literal), and Isaac I think knocked her for re-using many of the tricks she had employed during the course of the competition (the crystals hidden inside the blow, the vertical pleats, the wavy skirt, etc.). I had no problem with that. Anna was obviously feeling that this was her journey to the place she has worked all her life to get. Why not reflect that in her line? It was very personal, and I appreciated it. Glenda then forever earned my ire when she told Anna that although she gave them many beautiful, desirable looks, she "lost the storyline at the end." Dear Glenda Bailey: What fucking show are you on? The tagline for this show is "Real fashion for real people." REAL PEOPLE WOULD BUY HER CLOTHES! That is the entire point of "The Fashion Show," as compared to any other fashion program out there. And now you're knocking her for doing the assignment? Asshole!

Reco was up third (the slideshow is right here), and essentially he crashed and burned. He cited Aztec culture as his starting point, which was evidenced by some of the tops that featured Meso-American-like details (surprisingly restrained details, it should be noted), but many of the looks had no apparent connection to that theme. What's worse, much of it was unflattering. The tops in photos 3 and 6 made his stick-thin models look as though they had rolls of fat. His completely over-the-top full-feather dress (shades of Christian Siriano from "PR"4?) had no shape whatsoever, in addition to being the tackiest gown I've ever seen. His usually impeccable workmanship was not there, as zippers were off-kilter, fit was off (one model had to pull her skirt down ON THE RUNWAY because her ass was about to hang out), and his big final dress, a wedding gown (and yes, that is a bizarre gold-encrusted point hanging off the model's right breast), was initially so tight he had to rip it apart and reconstruct it. And even then, the model literally could not walk back up the runway in it. Reco had to carry her off.

There were a couple decent pieces - I liked the black-on-black pencil skirt in photo four, and the coat in the first look minus the garish yellow belt - but it was overall a failure. Reco mentioned that he ended up spending too much time doing research and was rushed in the construction. It was a complete reversal from his time on the show.

Finally, James-Paul (check it out right here). While watching his show I described it thusly: "It's like watching the apocalypse as told through textiles." That's not to say it was a disaster. It wasn't. It was quintessential James-Paul: overly intellectual, bizarre, and a little bit creepy. J-P took his inspiration from indigenous populations, and tried to work in more of the transformative properties that he loves so much, since in tribal cultures a skirt needs to be able to hold fruit. Or something. It made more sense when he described it. The color scheme was black, gray, and more black. It was GLOOMY. Oh, and he incorporated actual animal bones into the models' hair and styling. Yikes.

I suppose the looks were interesting, but mostly they seemed totally bizarre. Weird bunching all over the place, off-kilter hems on just about everything, entire flaps of fabric that dangled for no discernible reason. The only piece I really liked was the massively over-sized coat in photo 11, which Isaac dinged as being "too much." I'll give you that, but at least it had some visual appeal due to its texture.

The judges all applauded him for being interesting. But, like Daniella's, what woman would EVER buy or wear any of those clothes? Is James-Paul making art (or, realistically, textile architecture), or is he making something people will actually buy? Because to my mind, not a single look was marketable. He said at one point that his mentor, Vivienne Westwood, told him that he had his whole life to make pretty clothes; he should use this opportunity to do something interesting. I suppose, but maybe he should consider making SOMETHING pretty so that people will care to pay attention to his work, or pay for it at all. Interesting doesn't put food on your table.

Of course, we did not discover the winner of the show last night. Since it's decided by the viewers (all 20 of them, I suspect), that will be revealed during the finale next week. Talk about reality TV blue balls. We get the final collections but don't discover the winner? What a stupid set-up. But because we needed SOME dramatic finish, one of the designers was eliminated from consideration. And that poor soul was Reco. I think that was right. His show was the least successful of the four (at least, in terms of accomplishing what the designer set out to do), and if he had stayed in I suspect he'd have a good shot at winning since he's a character, and audiences love a character. At least he got to show his clothes.

So next week: a reunion with all of the boring motherfuckers who sucked the life out of most of this season, plus the winner is revealed. I can't imagine James-Paul has a shot in hell, so it'll probably come down to Daniella and Anna. I'm hoping America dislikes Daniella as much as I do. But regardless, seriously, what clothes would you rather buy? Chain mail and leather or gorgeous and interesting? The choice is clear to me.