Fat prom! Luke gave all of his ladies some really lovely plus-sized gowns, and then they all had a day of pampering, during which many of the girls moaned about how they were too fat to go to their high-school proms. Ladies: I was a cow in high school. Not only did I have a date to my junior prom, I had TWO (one for prom proper, another for the after-prom party). And I had a date to my senior prom. And then I got invited by another friend to HER prom. Three proms. And I was mega-chunkster. Just because you are fat does not mean that you cannot land a date. And even if you DON'T have a date, you can STILL GO to prom. Just have fun! Why must everything be so miserable in these women's lives?

The prom seemed kind of lame (there was a band, but they didn't seem to play much, I suspect because the mics would wash out the contestants' audio), but the gals seemed to have fun. And then Luke's college friends came in, one of them (Chase, I guess?) has some of the douchiest facial hair you ever did see. The friends got to pick a prom queen, who would receive an individual date with Luke. Way to add a bit of trauma into what was otherwise a sweet night.

Danielle got the date; she's best remembered as Girl Who Jumped In the Pool in Episode 1, and she totally sucked up to Luke's friends. The other girls were bitching, because they said that Danielle is hardly the best-liked girl there. Um, hello. Where have you been? Most prom queens are total bitches who win the tiara via manipulation or social domination. Did any of these girls actually go to high school? If not, it's a good lesson for them to learn. Get on the stick, ladies.

The truth is, we ALL won by getting to see Danielle's solo date with Luke, which will go down in the annals of TV history as one of the most uncomfortable segments EVER. Man, does that girl try too hard. She didn't seem the least bit relaxed, which is understandable, given that she claims she's never had a second date in her life. She talked about herself inexhaustibly, but didn't seem to show ay interest in Luke's life (that we saw). Major dating faux pas. Then he took her to a seafood restaurant, and she informed him that she doesn't eat seafood. OOPS. Another date faux pas: at least try to go with it, otherwise you look like a stuck-up bitch. And then she chose a frozen banana for dessert. That is not appropriate first-date dessert! Think about the shape and the totally nasty connotations it will suggest!

As the capper, they went for a lighted gondola ride, and it was just so painful to watch, as Danielle blathered about how it was all she ever wanted, and how they were forming a connection, and Luke had basically written her off before they even got to the restaurant. The whole thing made me feel better about all the terrible dates I've ever been on. I actually feel bad for the poor girl - I don't think she knows any better. She is a classic over-sharer, and that's a total boner-killer. Hopefully she got some self awareness out of her national humiliation.

Then Heather the puker from last episode got what amounted to a pity date since she got sick on the boat. She and Luke went horseback riding, Heather referred to it as "double dating with horses." I will not make a joke. Heather's quote: "I wasn't hurting the horse at all because they carry, like, wagons." I WILL NOT MAKE A JOKE! We discovered that Heather considers herself a singer, although she doesn't really pursue it because of her size. HELLO! There are plenty of chunky singers. Kelly Clarkson is a big girl! Size has nothing to do with it. I wonder if these women watching this at home see how frequently they use their weight as an excuse to hide away from life?

Before we get to the infuriating eliminations, a couple random thoughts on several of the ladies:

-Lauren threw several hissy fits, and she complained about girls' "unladylike behavior," even though she talked massive amounts of shit throughout the episode. She pulled another Lady Macbeth toward the end, dragging Luke aside to whisper sweet nothings into his ear. She needs to be kept around because every show needs its villain, but she is completely deluded if she somehow thinks her behavior is at all acceptable.

-Melissa cried even more! What a shock! At the prom she told Luke she had never danced before. Has the girl done anything? Is he dating a woman or a child? I ask you.

-Kristian really stood out this episode, and not in a good way. Last week we discovered that she was deranged. This week she showed off more of her hyper-obsessive side, and it was scary. Then she went from totally manic for the first half of the episode to heaving sobs over a guy she met no more than a week ago in real time. I cannot handle her, I just can't. She's even more of an emotional disaster than Melissa, and I didn't think that was possible.

Eliminations: four women going home. At this point there are still three or four girls I don't even know. Who is this Mandy? How did she get her ring second?  Tali? Have we seen ANYTHING from her? Who was Amanda? (She got eliminated.)

Along with Amanda we lost Woo girl Christina (she got the solo date last week) and disaster date Danielle, and in a real heartbreaker, totally awesome Bonnie, apparently because she would frighten Luke's mom. Bonnie can do better. Give her the "Fatchelorette," Fox. I would watch that. Amanda was indelicate, but right on when she said she doesn't understand what Luke sees in Melissa, who he kept. I would also ask the same about Kristian, but we all know the answer. Crazy makes for good television. And bitch crazy.

Next week: the girls rate each other. HA HA HA!