Laura vs. Nicole: our Final 2! I'm so glad, they were my favorites throughout the season, although for very different reasons. Nicole has been an amazing model, killing almost every photo shoot and doing surprisingly well on the Cover Girl commercial. Laura was consistently pretty and fun and cute, and just a joy to watch. She may not be the best model (she's not; in fact, she's never been called first once in this competition), but she's certainly one of the most likable girls we've ever seen on this show. I would have been happy no matter which one of them won. That hasn't happened since Cycle 6's Joanie vs. Danielle.

The two of them opened the episode marveling over being in the Final 2. I suppose it is surprising that Tyra didn't push Jennifer all the way to the end so she could have her token Asian winner, or that house bitch Erin got cut right before the finale. Then the two of them gave their thoughts on one another. Laura acknowledged that Nicole takes amazing photos, but in terms of her personality, she doesn't exactly shit rainbows, the way Tyra likes her winners (remember the bullshit she gave Jenah in C9 over that?). Nicole countered that while Laura's photos aren't as strong as hers, Laura is so sweet that Cover Girl will want to have her babies. The two of them got the lines they had to memorize for their Cover Girl commercial - especially difficult for Laura, since she's dyslexic - and then last season's winner, awful Teyona, showed up to spit nonsense words at the two of them and just generally make my TV screen suck.

In addition to their commercial, the girls had to do their Cover Girl shoot, which was shot by Mr. Nigel Barker. Nicole was incredible. Meanwhile, Laura shot her commercial, and dyslexia was only part of her problem. Her delivery was very stop-and-start, and her accent, though charming and folksy, didn't do her any favors on this one. Yikes. But Jay was impressed with the way she kept picking her energy up after each take. Good on her.

Then the girls switched places, with Nicole taking on the commercial. It was much sleepier and detached than her first commercial. Meanwhile, Laura looked beautiful in her shoot, but Nigel was somehow offended when she revealed that her happy thoughts were coming from milkshakes. Huh? Jay took Nicole to task for coming off as snooty in her commercial, which I didn't get at all. Nicole had the line of the night: "I'd rather have actual boogers in my nose than come off as snotty." Oh, Bloody Eyeball. You are amazing.

And then the girls got a terrible surprise: fucking Ann Shoket showed up at the model house to do their Seventeen cover shoots. And it was shot by Gilles Bensimon! What a wonderful treat! I miss Tyra not saying his name every week. No matter what these girls churn out, it has to be better than that hideous horror poster that was Teyona's final shot. The Shoket was impressed with the girls. Way to say absolutely nothing, per usual.

Then, something I was actually happy to see: Tyra stopped by the house to do a one-on-one interview with both of the girls. That's something she hasn't done in several cycles, which I found kind of detached and annoying on her part. Nicole talked about her awkward nature, of course. Laura talked about being from a small town, and we got great footage of her being on tractor. And then Laura cried while talking about her grandma, and that could only help her: Tyra loves when the models cry. She gains succor from their salty tears.

Runway: Laura talked a big game, saying that she had the much better walk. There's been such little runway this season, I couldn't tell you if that's true or not. We've had one runway challenge the whole time, right? That's bullshit, and something the show should really work on. Anyway, the remainder of the Final 6 -- Erin, Brittany, Sundai, and Jennifer -- all joined the F2 in the final runway, and Jay made a big deal out of this being the first time the eliminated contestants have been on the final runway. That's inaccurate. The show regularly has the remainder of the F6 - even some earlier-cut girls -- walking in these shows to avoid spoilers leaking out. But the editors typically do a good job not showing them in the final product. This time they're making a big deal out of it for some reason. Almost all of the eliminated girls wanted Laura to win, mostly because she's so nice. (As Jade famously pointed out, this is not "America's Next Top Best Friend," guys.) And then, bizarrely, Eddie Murphy was shown to be in the audience. I guess his daughter was one of the legit models in the show or something.

The girls were swathed in glitter, which was more visually interesting than most of the clothes they were wearing. Teyonasaurus opened the show, and man, I forgot how boring she was on the runway. Nicole had a very...strong walk. And by "strong" I mean nearly Frankensteinian. Laura looked damn good - Tyra even said so - she had a nice swagger to her. When they came out for their second run, the girls were covered in gauzy fabrics blown by a wind machine, which led to some awkward bobbing movements from Nicole. Laura looked incredible with it, though; she was very sensual. Then the girls came out as "water," in bathing suits, with blue fabric drapings, and sprinklers pouring water down on them. Once again, Laura did a much better job. She unquestionably won the runway portion of the competition. And then the Final 6 crouched on the stage and molested each other. It was very strange. I'm curious to know how long that show lasted, because it seemed like there were vast stretches between the passes. That's not how a real fashion show works.

Panel: Tyra was pleasantly surprised with Laura's runway, saying that she looked as though she'd been on Parisian runways for seasons. She then told Nicole that although her monster walk was off-putting, it was a signature walk, and it will get her noticed. Yeah, as a terrible runway model. That's some spin right there.

Portfolio comparison: they did a fairly exhaustive comparison of their shots, which I appreciated, and it was actually a lot more competitive for Laura than I thought. I had forgotten how strong her scarf shot was, and her Cirque du Soleil photo was outstanding. But I felt Nicole took the rest of the shots. The Cover Girl commercial was hands-down Nicole, for me. Laura looked nervous, and her delivery was stilted. I mean, kudos to her for pushing through her dyslexia, but it just couldn't compete with Nicole's. On that note, Tyra said Nicole's was likable and approachable, but it lacked "model." It's Cover Girl; how "model" can you be? The Cover Girl ad photo also went to Nicole for me; Laura was in three-quarter profile, which is not her best look. Meanwhile, Nicole looked totally foxy. Quite come hither, almost too sexy for Cover Girl. But I loved it.

And then: Nicole was named the winner. BLOODY EYEBALL WON! Who among us saw that coming? When Nicole was first introduced I had her pegged as a joke contestant, maybe an early elimination chaff. But as soon as she nailed her first shoot, I knew we had a contender. Her reaction was the most understated of any winner we've ever seen. Instead, there was a really beautiful moment between Laura, who was crushed, and Tyra, who told her that she was as beautiful on the inside as she on the outside. Amen. Love that girl, and I hope she does well.

But we have a great winner! As Nigel pointed out, with Bloody Eyeball we have not only a fantastic beauty model, but also a fantastic high-fashion model. And our first winner with a repeat name (a Nicole also won Season 5). But we do NOT, as Tyra stated, have our first "petite" winner. Nicole is 5'7". Eva - who won Cycle 3 - is 5'6.5". How hilarious is it that the supposed "short cycle" produced a taller winner than one of the regular cycles? Oh, Tyra. You'll never win.

Except you do: I loved this season, one of my favorites in a long time (since at least Cycle 10, although that had a somewhat unfortunate finish). Those shorties did alright. I hate waiting until February for the next batch...