Jennifer opened the show by saying that she couldn't believe she's part of the Final 5. You and me both, sweetie. I like Jennifer. She seems sweet. But a model? Not really. Her facial distortions in her photos are not appealing, and she almost always has her mouth gaping like a fish. That said, the even less modelesque Sundai is somehow still here, so I can't really hate on Jennifer too much. Oh, who am I kidding? I can hate them all. Except Laura and Bloody Eyeball. They are awesome.

Speaking of Miss Gap Kids (a.k.a. Sundai), she started giving little bits of her tragic back story to the girls, but withheld most of it, promising to tell the sad story if she made Final 4. What was up with that? She also accompanied this bizarre, deliberate emotional manipulation by saying that if she doesn't become a model, her life is over. Um, Sundai, you might want to look into other options. Just saying. Consider college! Cosmetology school! A paper route! She also sucked her thumb, and used her favorite four words in the English language, "I'm not gonna lie..." Every notice how often she says that?

After the Sad Sundai Show we got a cute clip about Laura, who was celebrating her 20th birthday by being adorable,  like she is every other day. The girls made her eggs. Shitty birthday gift, girls. This woman once castrated farm animals. You think under-cooked eggs are going to impress her? Please.

Then the girls headed to the beach, and after Erin bitched about it smelling like fish (...it's a beach), a boatload of hot, shirtless Hawaiian guys paddled out the one and only Marisa Miller, noted bikini model, Victoria's Secret Angel, cove r girl, and petite model herself - she's only 5'8". Marisa gave the girls an honest-to-god useful teach on how to do bikini modeling. She was seriously kind of awesome, even when Sundai refused to get her hair wet for fear of getting an afro. After getting the girls all wet, she made them roll around in the sand and get all sorts of nasty. This was actually a challenge, as the girls then had to shower off the sand, while posing, but not going too over-the-top. Straight men: you should be watching this show. Erin was great, Sundai was predictably a disaster, and Nicole did surprisingly well considering she's never tried to be sexy in her life (or so she says; I bet she's given people the fuck-me-bloody-eyeball). And Miller gave us the line of the episode, when she instructed Laura (I think), "Don't rub your boobs, OK?" Only on "Top Model"!

After that, Marisa led the girls to a rocky cliff, and made them jump to their deaths, dashed to pieces on the jagged rocks below. End of the season! Not really, but there were rocky cliffs, and Nigel Barker, and the girls had another challenge, in which they had to jump into the ocean, but do it...like a model. They only had one shot to get it right. Laura volunteered to go first, and did fine. Erin was a graceless mess. Marisa feared that Nicole turned the wrong way, away from the camera. Jennifer seemed to do well, but she lost her face. Sundai waited as long as she could, looked a fool, AND got a jet of water right in her ear. The winner of the challenge got a chocolate pearl necklace worth $5000, and more frames on her photo shoot, and then got to choose a friend who would get more frames, and down the line. Bloody Eyeball won! Good for you, Nicole! She chose Sundai for the extra frames, Sundai picked Laura, who picked Jennifer, and they all left Erin out, so she got the normal number of frames. They really don't like that bitch. Bloody Eyeball even said as much, calling her a "little brat."

The girls made up for their lame birthday eggs by setting up a big birthday bash for Laura, including personalized cupcakes made by Erin, of all people. Super cute, the whole thing. Nicole went to bed early, so as to not leave herself looking tired for the following day's photo shoot. Smart girl. It's not like she was missing a Roman orgy or anything. Sigh. Remember the debauched glory days of Season 2?

Photo shoot: the girls were boated out to sea, and then they'd be doing the shoot underwater, breathing via scuba tanks between shots. The photographer was bigshot Russell James. All of the girls would get a break, feedback, and then go back under, with the exception of Erin, because of her few frames. Sundai started getting sea sick, and then started bitching about her asthma, and was essentially sucking the life out of the boat.

Laura was first up, and she freaked the fuck out when they took her regulator out - she felt like she was hyperventilating. She got her shit together, and ended up having a very good shoot. Bloody Eyeball seemed to do OK prior to her break, and Jay encouraged her to play around more during her second stint, and she definitely took the notes. Jennifer didn't go underwater during her first outing, but actually did the job the second time. Sundai had a million excuses and had a shitty shoot; Jay didn't care for her boo-hooing over the asthma bit, either. Russell said Erin "blew an opportunity" by staying close to the surface, and he said he could have shot her film in a swimming pool. Erin cried after it was all over. She's really becoming unhinged.

Panel: Marisa Miller was the guest judge. I really do like her. Maybe she can take over the show when Tyra inevitably retires. Sundai lied and told Tyra that she found the shoot exciting, and Tyra mocked her voice again. Sundai looked very long and tall in her photo, but she totally lost her face - you could barely make out any of it. Tyra called her on her whining during the shoot. Laura wore another item of her grandma's clothing items, which grammy sent her for her birthday. Love her! Laura's shot looked incredible; it was very graceful, and her face looked serene. The judges loved Jennifer's shot, which really had excellent body positioning, but I thought her face once again looked dead, which the judges never mention. Nicole's shot was strange, her body was all gummed up at the top, and she looked like she was dancing. But the face was really beautiful, kind of early 90s glam. Her legs looked totally creepy though, and Tyra and Co. begged her to point her feet next time. Erin's shot looked like a test shot, per Nigel, and you couldn't see her face at all because of the harsh light since she was so close to the surface. Miss J had this useful critique: "If you keep doing what you're doing, you keep getting what you got." He is so pointless.

Cycle 10's Fatima was the Top Model in Action this week. She's apparently working in Europe, and taking some crazy gorgeous photos. It's shocking when you consider that Whitney won that cycle with Anya and Fatima in the Final 3 with her. I loved Whitney, but seriously, that is probably the biggest bullshit victory in this show's history.

Callouts: Jennifer (bullshit; maybe third), Nicole, and Laura, leaving Sundai in the Bottom 2 with Erin, making her third consecutive B2 appearance. That is almost always the end of the line for a contestant on this show. Tyra called out Sundai for having twice the number of frames Erin had, but just as crappy a performance. She also basically told her to shut up about the asthma. Tyra told Erin that she started out the competition very strong, but she is plummeting and needs to get it together. But Erin was spared, and Sundai was sent home. Sundai looked like she had just been knifed in the gut - Tyra had to walk down the runway to her, not the other way around. I really think Sundai expected to win this competition, which was never a real possibility, because she's a mediocre model at best, with basically one look. And it needs to be said: she is 5'3". There are petite models, and there are dwarves. You know?

Next week: the obligatory hula challenge, plus a shocking double elimination! That means we'll have a two-girl finale for the first time EVER. Tyra is shaking this shit up!