Erin realized that she was still in the competition by the grace of god - that god being Tyra, goddess of fierce - since she's been in the Bottom 2 three times in a row and somehow survived. That never happens. Meanwhile, Nicole has had such a positive experience in the competition that she said she's really gained confidence and come out of her shell. You can see that even in her interviews - she talks less like a stoner, and more like a confident young woman. Good for her. At this point, she said she could see herself in the Final 2, along with Jen.

For her part, Jen was excited to get top photo last week, saying she had "given up." (Um, hasn't she had top photo before? The group shot and the commercial don't count?) But Jen was proud of the fact that she's made it this far in the competition, since she typically gives up on things that are difficult. That's inspirational to young women everywhere. Laura continued to be generally adorable, saying that she could get a "real job," but wants to show her siblings they can be successful, and feels like modeling is the best way for her to do that and provide for her family. I'm not sure if that's accurate, but I admire her pluck.

Then the girls had to learn a blend of hula and hip-hop. What does this have to do with modeling? Absolutely nothing. Erin, a cheerleader, felt like she should have a leg up on this competition, and tried to help the girls get the routine. Nicole didn't appreciate her holier-than-thou attitude. In addition to a specifically choreographed routine, they also had to bust out an original solo that told their "story." Ugh. It's lame shit like this that makes me cringe. They've done this several times (C8's Aboriginal dance sequence comes immediately to mind), and it always makes me feel lame just watching it. The challenge winner would get an all-expenses-paid five-day trip back to Maui to stay in the Four Seasons when the competition was over. That's pretty sweet.

Jennifer went first and looked great in the hula routine, but lost it in the hip-hop portion completely. Her story had to do with love and determination; she basically just moved her arms around her head, so I read it as "I need to get the pasta off the top shelf of the pantry." Erin killed the hip-hop stuff. Her story was about sadness and loneliness; she hunched over and grimaced, so to me it looked like she was about to shit her pants. Laura had great energy in both sections, and her story was something about coming from a small town with big dreams. I saw: ass shaking. Nicole was a RIOT! SO BAD it was funny. Her story was about transformation. To me it looked like she had just discovered the joys of crystal meth. Miss J totally mocked her, but she took it in stride. Good for her.

Ultimately Laura won. Good on her. And she opted to bring Jen with her. As you can imagine, that sat really well with Erin. They've done a great job casting her as the house bitch the past few weeks.

Photo shoot: The girls showed up to the "secret beach." The girls were styled as Pele, the Hawaiian goddess of volcanoes, known for her fiery personality. This basically amounted to flowy dresses, 80's make-up, and blown-out hair. The girls were g posed on volcanic rocks in the water, with the waves crashing around them. And then the bombshell: TWO girls would be eliminated at panel this week. High stakes! They've never done a finale with just two girls before. Jay instructed Jennifer to close her mouth from the shock. Jay, have you looked at her film? Her mouth is ALWAYS open.

Jennifer tried to channel her idea of a goddess, with her hands in prayer position, but she completely forgot her faces. She always forgets her face, and the photog actually told her to shut her mouth. I'm so glad someone finally mentioned that. It's been driving me nuts all season. She tried standing on her toes, and nearly fell. Nicole was smizing the shit out her shoot, and kept her mind focused on looking long and lean. Jay and photog loved it. Laura knew the pressure was on. I don't think she has ever looked hotter than she did in this shoot; I could actually believe her as a Victoria's Secret girl. But her face did look kind of deranged, especially her eyes. Her hands also looked like mitts, and she had Novacaine lips. She really struggled with the shoot, and Jay said it looked a little boozy. Erin looked fantastic in her outfit, but she also had a full-on snarl on her face. She started singing pop songs - "the kind teenagers listen to," as if she herself isn't a teen - and things got softer. She was totally charming afterward with the photographer for a change, and then banged her head on the light. Oh, girl...

Panel: Ann Shoket from Seventeen magazine was the guest judge. She's awful. Erin walked up looking like she was on the way to the amusement park. The judges loved her shot. It was a good, but since the challenge was about timing with the waves, I felt it was lacking in that aspect. Tyra criticized her for lacking tension in the face. Jennifer's body shape was good, but again: mouth hanging wide open. She tried to defend her playfulness during the shoot, but Tyra told her that she forgets her face, and that it looked like "amateur modeling." Wow, that was awfully brutal given the usual tongue bath she gets from this panel.

Laura showed up looking like a farmer again. Her shot really did look like Rachel Hunter, but there was a deer-in-the-headlights quality to it that nobody mentioned. Miss J praised her chameleon qualities, and then had his Most Useless Comment of the Cycle (so far) saying "You're the gold tooth in a mouth full of decay." What. The. Fuck. Nigel said it looked very Sports Illustrated, but he felt like she needs to watch her length. It's true, she looked stumpy. Nicole's photo had a killer close-up, but the long shot body language was all closed off. That's so strange given the footage we saw of the shoot. But Tyra and Ann liked her vulnerability and secretiveness. I just can't believe that was her best shot, close-up excluded.

Call-Outs: Nicole got first photo, which surprised me - I thought for sure it would be Laura, given all the praise they heaped on her photo. Doesn't matter, Bloody Eyeball totally deserves to be in the finals, and is probably one of the best models this competition has ever seen, shortie or not. The other three were all in the bottom. Tyra felt like Jennifer has gotten shaky lately, that Laura doesn't inspire in person (read: she's a hayseed), and Erin came back in this shot, but has been plummeting for weeks. The final finalist was Laura, meaning both Erin and Jennifer got the axe.

Interesting. When the short cycle was first announced, a lot of people - myself included - assumed that it was Tyra's sneaky way of getting herself an Asian winner at last (Asian girls tending to be somewhat vertically challenged). And here we are, with Jennifer going out in third/fourth place. Not that I'm necessarily complaining. I want an Asian winner, but was Jennifer really the best the show can do? She's a sweet girl, and pretty in her interviews. But she is so not a model. And I'm not even talking about the wonk eye, which she did a fairly good job hiding in most of her pics. I'm talking about her face in photos, which was typically distorted and uncomfortable looking, especially the mouth.

It's frustrating, because I see gorgeous Asian women all the time. Why does this show have such a hard time casting Asian competitors? I can recount only five in the show's history - April from Cycle 2 (fourth place), Gina and Jade from Cycle 6, Claire from Cycle 10 (part Japanese, I believe), and now Jennifer. Consider that the show has had close to 150 participants thus far, and that is a pathetic track record.

I'm sure Tyra would love to have an Asian winner - I do believe she's legitimately interested in diversity - so I don't understand how so few serious contenders have made it to the Top 12/13. That said, I also don't want her to force an Asian win just for the sake of having one (like she forced the plus-sized win with Whitney in Cycle 10), and I figured that's what was coming with Jennifer. So it's kind of nice to be surprised. As for Erin, she never would have won at this point. Between her record stint in the Bottom 2 and her terrible edit, the best she could have hoped for was the venerable house bitch runner-up spot.

But the good news is, we have a Laura/Nicole Final 2, arguably one of the more likable match-ups in the show's history. Like C4 (Kahlen vs. Naima) or C6 (Joanie vs. Danielle), either of those girls could win and I'd be cool with it at this point. Nicole would seem to be the obvious winner, since she has dominated this competition from nearly the beginning and excels at pretty much everything (except dancing). But I'm not counting Laura out. She's got underdog written all over her, and Cover Girl would eat her up (if she worked on that accent, at least). She's never gotten a first call-out though, and her portfolio is much weaker than Nicole's. So we'll have to see. I'm excited about next week's finale! More than I can say for the previous two seasons...