Welcome back to the "American Idol" deathwatch. This week more than 24 million votes were cast for the Top 24 performers. Really? Who is voting for these people? I've read multiple blogs refer to this as the worst Top 24 ever, and while I won't go that far - the semi-finals were pretty terrible the first three seasons at least - it is certainly the weakest crop we've seen in years. Especially the guys. God, those guys were bad.

The judges danced around the fact that a good 60 percent of the Top 24 sucked this week. Ryan tried to make it sound like the first week of semis is traditionally a weak week. But that isn't true. Even Ellen basically said that the kids needed to seriously step it up. I think a lot of them got a rude awakening this week, and I'm hoping that song selection, at least, will radically improve come next week.

The Top 24 lip-synched as a group to "American Boy" by Estelle and Kanye West. That was my summer jam of 2008; how very current. Crystal looked so uncomfortable; she must have hated every moment of that. Casey gave the camera this look that can only be dscribed as "KILL ME NOW." Alex predictably looked like he was about to implode. There was no energy to the song, everyone looked terrified or uncomfortable. I can't even imagine how ghastly it would have sounded if they'd done it live. My roommate summed it up: it sounded like a Kidz Bop CD.

Girl results were up first. Siobhan was one of the stars Tuesday, and is delightfully weird; I want to see more. She was safe. I like Haeley, although most of America hates her; she is in fact the Vote For the Worst girl pick. Perhaps because of that, she was safe (I'm glad). Michelle...exists. She is pretty, and a decent singer, but forgettable. She was also safe (kind of a surprise). Katelyn sounded fantastic on Tuesday but looked like a hooker; she was safe. That left Katie and Janell in the back row, with one of them going home. Wow, those were BOTH people I was fairly confident would make the Top 12. Out of the two of them, Katie stunk up the joint Tuesday, while Janell didn't set the place on fire, either. And it ended up being Janell who got cut.

That was a shock for me. She had one amazing performance in Hollywood, although several really bad ones too. Her performance on Tuesday wasn't super strong, but I also didn't think it was bad enough to send her home. Not before Lacey or even Paige, that's for sure. And of course, she sounded better in her exit performance of "What About Love" than she did Tuesday. I'm going to blame that one on nerves. Ultimately, I suppose she and Didi were a little too similar, and if I had to pick one, I'd stick with Didi. Still: legitimately shocked. She handled it well.

Last year's fourth-place finisher, Allison Iraheta, came out to sing her new song, "Scars." Allison was looking great -- she's finally got a hairstyle and color that really flatters her, and her dress was rocker yet playful. She looked like a Jem doll. (That's high praise, honestly.) Allison sounded wonderful, even if I didn't particularly care of the song. And it occurred to me, this is the exact point in the competition that we discovered her last year. She was a Who? contestant going into semis, and she freaking attacked her number, grabbed our attention, and scored herself a spot in the Top 12. NOBODY was counting on this girl at this stage of the competition, but she turned into the darkest of dark horses, and the only woman of the season with a shot at the win (and I think she really did have a shot). I just can't imagine that we've got anyone this time who will surprise us like Allison did.

Back to results. Paige was somehow safe despite being forgettable and not particularly good. Lacey too got a pass - so all of the women I figured would be in danger were safe. But at least Lilly, who was probably the best of the night Tuesday, was safe. Crystal was spared too, which left us with Ashley and Didi. Of the two, I prayed that Ashley would get the axe. Didi is seriously talented, even if her performance Tuesday wasn't her best. Ashley is generic and boring, and, well, not a great singer. And thankfully, Didi was safe. Phew! I was actually concerned that one of the few good singers in the competition was going home. Instead, Ashley -- who some people had pegged as a potential winner, although I never understood that -- got booted. And that suits me just fine. I figured that we'd be stuck with her for a long time. Ashley sounded even worse on "Happy" than she did Tuesday, proving that she was no great loss.

Before we got to the guys results, Ryan showed a clip from yesterday's rehearsals in which Tyler Grady performed in boots, tennis socks, and a bathrobe, which he explained he wore to be "comfortable." No, you wanted attention. HATE. Results: Big Mike was safe, duh. I was worried that John would be in trouble for picking that terrible, terrible song, even though he sang it decently; he was safe. Wee Aaron Kelly did better than I expected on Tuesday, but he's got zero charisma. He was safe. Todrick completely obliterated "Since U Been Gone," but he was safe.

That left Tim and Joe in the back row, with one of them going home. Tim had one of the worst-ever semi-final performances I've ever seen, Joe was forgettable and had been almost invisible up until that point. I figured Joe was a goner. And I was right: Tim was safe, Joe got eliminated. I knew Tim was staying. He's getting the pretty-boy votes (he's also the male Vote for the Worst pick, by the way). And Joe was a perfect storm of a first cut, so it was pretty much inevitable. But the fact that Tim survived that abysmal performance, while Joe - who can actually sing - went home just underscores how screwed this season is. Even Tim seemed to know it was the wrong call. To his credit, Joe sounded better on "You and I Both" in his final performance, and was really gracious.

Ryan came back from break to announce that "Idol Gives Back" is returning this season. UGH. I'll go into my serious issues with that program once we get to it in April, but in the meantime we got to see last year's winner, Kris Allen, again. Kris just got back from a trip to Haiti, and he talked a bit about the devastation, and the second disaster in the offing because of the impending rainy season. Proceeds from the downloads of Kris's performance of "Let It Be" from this episode went to Haiti relief. That's nice, I can't argue with that. It's just the sponsorship angle that makes "Idol Gives Back" turn my stomach a bit.

More results: Casey was one of the best of Wednesday night (not saying much), and he was safe. Jermaine was dreadful and screamy, but he was safe. Blech. Lee was one of the better performances of the night, even though it was kind of terrible in hindsight, and he was safe. Andrew was something of a disappointment, but he was safe. And that left Tyler and Alex, both of whom deserved to be cut. Couldn't we cut both of them? Please? Alex has some of the worst nerves I've ever seen from a contestant on this show; Tyler is a joke contestant who should never have made it this far in the first place. And somehow, Alex was spared, and Tyler went home.

I'm happy about that, but Alex has no business still being in this competition. And to cement his douchiness, Tyler blamed his elimination not on his bad singing, but on the judges, who didn't give him enough constructive criticism in Hollywood. Here's some constructive criticism: sing better. Simon responded with an eyeroll. There is not enough eyeroll in the world for this guy, Simon. Delighted to see Tyler get cut. Seriously, almost giddy.

So I'm cool with two of those cuts, understanding about a third, and still kind of shocked over the fourth. Next week: we can only hope it gets better, as we have FIVE MORE HOURS OF THIS!! Yea, gods...