I was surprised, and disappointed, to discover that the Top 10 guys were performing instead of the girls. Nobody's really very good this year, but the ladies are certainly the stronger of the sexes. The reason for the switch: Crystal Bowersox was rushed to the hospital Tuesday morning, and was under doctor's orders not to perform that night. So the girls and guys switched places. That's really interesting. The show just rescheduled itself to accommodate ONE contestant.  I wonder if they would have done that for one of the lower-tier contestants, like, say, John Park or something.

New judging order this week: Randy, Ellen, Kara, and Simon. That's interesting too. Kara was looking totally walk-of-shame cougar. Because there was two hours' worth of time to waste, Ellen went into this whole funny, yet pointless, ramble about missing "Bewitched" and "American Gladiators." When asked if the guys or girls were ahead after the fiasco that was last week, Simon said it's the girls. Duh.

Big Mike Lynche was up first, and he revealed that he's huge into theater, and we got to see some footage of a much more in-shape Mike performing at his high school. He chose "This Is a Man's World" by James Brown. He was determined to prove to Simon that he is not a support act, that he's a star. I'm not sure this was the right song for that. There were so many passages in which he didn't sing at all. The range of the song was extremely limited. And it was so laid-back song that it was hard to get excited. But again Mike proved that he is very comfortable stage, and the vocal sounded good. I liked his tone a whole lot better this week, even if I still feel like the song was not a great pick. Randy gave Mike a standing ovation that was completely undeserved. Ellen liked the song , and thought it was a strong start to the night. Kara said she finally got Mike after that performance ,and said that he showed that he's not just a singer, but an artist. By parroting the moves of every r'n'b singer ever? Please. Simon loved it, saying that he transformed from a pussycat to a lion, and that he didn't sound dated. I will agree with that. Simon called it his best performance in the competition thus far.

John Park revealed that English is actually his second language, as he grew up in Korea until fourth grade. Who could have known?  He also wisely admitted that last week he picked the totally wrong song. This week he went with "Gravity" by John Mayer. Another wah-wah song; let's pick it up a bit, John. He sounded really good for the first part of it, before losing the pitch about halfway through for a little bit. The song definitely highlighted the many great qualities of his voice, but if he thought it made him appear more youthful, he was dead wrong. There's nothing contemporary about that song. Randy pointed out that he didn't bring anything new to the song. Ellen thought that he made a huge leap in terms of song choice this week, but encouraged him to feel the emotion of his songs more. Kara thought it was way better than last week, but also wanted John to let loose. Simon basically said he figured John was going home this week, since there was nothing special or memorable about the performance. I can't really disagree with that.

Casey James claims to have never seen "American Idol" before trying out. I don't know if I find that believable, but he claims that he hasn't had a TV since he was 7 years old. Huh. He's also handy, ladies: he refurbished his own house. What a catch! Then there was this bizarre clip in which he was fiddling with a box backstage, but refused to tell us what it was about. He picked the oft-"Idol"-covered "I Don't Wanna Be" by Gavin DeGraw. Casey shredded the song on his electric guitar, but he didn't really do anything with the vocals. I actually thought he sounded worse than he did last week. The vibrato on his voice needs to be seriously turned down. He's a much better guitar player than he is a singer. And since this is a singing competition, that could be a problem. Randy loved his guitar work, but acknowledged that the vocal wasn't great. Ellen said that on paper he has everything - the look, the sound, the musicianship - but she feels like he's stiff on stage. Kara said Casey's guitar chops overshadowed the pitchy vocals, and that he didn't take the song to the next level. Word. Simon said that this week Casey turned into every guy in every bar across the country trying to be a rock star. I agree. Take the guitar out of the mix and it was barely passable karaoke.

Alex Lambert and his mullet had no business still being on this show, after a disastrous Hollywood Week, and then a terrible first semi-final performance. He copped to his massive nerves, and revealed that he usually throws up prior to football games or performances. He also admitted that he invented his own language in junior high to help with this music. Whatever. He chose "Everybody Knows" by John Legend and accompanied himself on guitar. He still looked nervous. However! His vocal was so, so much better this week. I was actually shocked at how good he sounded. I finally saw what the judges were talking about with this kid, because he really does have a wonderful recording voice. There were a few bum notes, but he sounded fantastic for a good chunk of the song...except that weak last note. Randy gave him credit for his huge improvement this week.  Ellen went back to her unripened banana metaphor, saying that he ripened incredibly quickly. Kara said that there isn't a person out there who isn't rooting for Alex. I...would not go that far. Simon said it was a million times better than last week, and then gave him some good advice: the only time you should be nervous is if you're useless. Simon also told Alex that he needed to get hungry for the win, because right now he is clearly just trying to survive right now. Simon also told him point blank that next week, no more nerves. Agreed. If he can get that shit locked down, sing the way he just did, and cut that fucking mullet, I could unexpectedly be on Team Alex.

Todrick Hall talked a ton about his dance background, which didn't do much to dismiss the criticism last week that he's a dancer who sings. He picked "What's Love Got to Do With It" by Tina Turner. So two women's songs in two weeks. Hmmm. He changed the song up, slowing it down considerably, but it was still recognizable. So that's already better than last week. The vocals were all over the place. There were some really lovely moments in his upper register, especially in his falsetto, but it was off in the lower notes. His voice occasionally gets an unpleasant dull quality, like he's just shouting. It was a charismatic performance, I'll give him that. Randy didn't love it, and he told him to stop fussing with the songs, and just "sing a nice song." I wonder if Randy realizes that he gives these people totally contradictory advice every single week. Ellen told Todrick that he should always be moving when he sings, because it's his strength; she also thought the song was too old-fashioned. Kara babbled all over the place. Simon told him to move, but stop singing. He told Todrick that it was terrible, and compared it to a theme park performance. The words "bad," "corny," "wrong," and "no relevance" were thrown around. Woo!

Jermaine Sellers is one of the most annoying contestants of the season And he's so boring that his video package was all about how he "rocks his onesie." Seriously, that's the most interesting thing about this guy? His pajamas?  He thought the judges were way too rough last week. No; they weren't harsh enough on him. This week he selected "What's Goin' On?" by Marvin Gaye. I found it immediately off-putting. Weak voice, twee outfit, fauxhawk, and creepy smile: bad all around. There was nothing exciting or interesting about this performance, and as it went on it actually worse with the pitch. "What's Goin' On" is a really powerful protest song, and this sounded like some cheesy come-on. The portion where he went into a bit of upper-register scatting was actually painful to listen to. Randy said it was "so close yet so far." Um, no. It wasn't close at all. Ellen liked his style (it was hideous, like nouveau dandy), butshe thought Jermaine pushed too hard and was off again. Simon called it watered down, and that Jermaine lost the importance of the song. Jermaine interrupted that the judges needed to come to church with him, and Simon agreed to it. Eventually, Jermaine asked the judges to tell him what to sing next. THAT'S NOT THEIR JOB! And then Jermaine started babbling about how much he knows God. Oh, he is insufferable. Can we please send this jackass home, America? Can we all work together to do that?

Andrew Garcia revealed that he has been a breakdancer since middle school, and he isn't half bad. You wouldn't figure that from looking at him. He picked "You Give Me Something" by James Morrison, the second week in a row for a song by that guy. Andrew put the guitar away for this one and just focused on the vocal. I...am not sure that was a good idea. When given the chance to focus only on Andrew's voice, I realized that it isn't anywhere near as strong as I expected it to be. I also think the song might have been too high for him. There were off notes all over the place. It was just wasn't a song that fit his voice particularly well. Randy called out the pitchiness, and said Andrew is way better than that performance. I think that's true. Ellen said she loved it, and pointed out the major issue: Andrew set the bar so high in Hollywood Week that we're going to forever be comparing him to that. It's just like Lil Rounds last year. Simon expressed his concerns with the fact that Andrew has picked crappy songs two weeks running, and repeated his disappointment from last week.

Aaron Kelly is a budding photographer, and he spoke about his passion for it with far more eloquence than I expected for a 16-year-old. He seems like a really nice, charming kid, and there was this great footage of Simon telling him backstage last week that he did a good job. His entire face just lit up. He picked "My Girl" by The Temptations. Not a terribly contemporary choice, but Aaron was markedly more engaged in his performance this week. He's still squeally, and he went totally overboard on the runs - I don't think he held a single note for more than a second. The falsetto was...bad. And he made these really ugly faces while singing. But the kid was obviously trying, and I do think there's a decent voice underneath there. Randy loved the first half, but hated back end, where they broke it down. Yeah, that was terrible. Ellen complimented him on his improved confidence, and Kara liked it, and all of the control and twang he brings to his numbers. Simon didn't care for it, saying it was all over the place, and that it was old-fashioned. He also encouraged Aaron to make a case for what kind of artist he wants to be.

Tim Urban has had quite a week. After bombing Wednesday and nearly shitting himself after surviving the cut Thursday, shirtless photos of him leaked on the internet. Really impressive shirtless pics. And although Tim kind of sucks, I can't deny that I am now firmly behind the artist I will refer to as Turban. He picked "Come On Get Higher" by Matt Nathanson and accompanied himself on acoustic guitar. He looked good! His guitar playing was adequate! But this guy cannot hold a melody to save his life. He got much better during the chorus, and he played with the key a bit in the second half. For all of the pitch problems, it was a huge improvement over last week. Randy thought it was "very karaoke," and that there was nothing special. It's true; it was exactly like the original song. Ellen was uncharacteristically harsh, telling him that he should go on "Glee" because he's so adorable, but the singing is not his strong suit. She said he had no charisma and no presence. Kara says that there are moments where she sees Tim's shtick, but it's not all adding up yet. Simon actually thought it was a big improvement over last week, and praised him for listening to the criticism.  He thought Tim was more relevant with many of the other contestants tonight, who Simon thought really were doing throwback karaoke. I think that's true, actually. I think Tim would be helped greatly if he performed without a shirt.

Lee Dewyze revealed that he made bad choices in high school, and was sent to an alternative high school, where he met some teachers who really reached out to him, and he turned his life around. That is a lovely story, actually.  Lee also was appreciative of the judges' notes from last week, and knew he blew the pitch a bit. For this week he picked Hinder's "Lips of an Angels." I thought the quality of his voice sounded terrific - there were times that he sounded like Counting Crows' Adam Duritz - but he has to watch his nasal moments, and his diction. He toned down the growly stuff considerably this week, and I thought that was a good decision. But his performance itself was awkward, and I think it's because he was feeling vulnerable since he didn't have the guitar in front of him. Randy liked it, even though there were a couple pitch problems. Ellen appreciated the passion and intensity, and how into the song he was. Kara thought it was a big improvement, and said that she could hear his voice on the radio right now. Simon again told Lee that vocally he's undoubtedly the best singer of the guys, but came back to the theme of the season: he needs to get over his nerves. What is with the bunch of wussies this season?

Wrap up: John could be in trouble for another forgettable, boring performance;  Todrick should be in trouble - he's not going to get any better, folks; Jermaine MUST GO HOME, I cannot stand the guy; Andrew was surprisingly terrible, but should be safe; Tim will get the pec vote and should be fine. Somehow Alex Lambert had my favorite performance of the night. How the hell did that happen?