Ryan started the episode ominously by promising that "Drama is about to unfold on this stage." Apparently Simon felt that he got some stuff wrong last night, and said that one person that he paid compliments to was so bad watching it back on TV that he had to turn of the tube. I wonder who that was?

Group sing to Black Eyed Peas' "I Gotta Feeling." That's ironic; we're sending four poozers home, but apparently it's going to be a good night. Salt, meet wound. The energy level was noticeably lacking. You people are just lip synching, can't you at least commit to that? There was the extended one-warm wave, and they capped it off with the "convoy" arm pulldown move. Jesus. At least Siobhan was having a good time. That's really all that matters.

Boys up first: Turban (Tim Urban) looked like he was going to stroke out until he was spared. Todrick was left hanging, which pleased me. Bike Mike was safe, predictably. Casey was kind of terrible Tuesday night, but was safe. John picked another goddamn boring song, and it came down to him and Todrick. And John got the cut. He has nobody but himself to blame. John can really sing, but his dreary tunes were not going to a) make him stand out or b) get any votes. He reminisced about being sexually harassed by Shania Twain, and then he bored us again with that dull song. Why would anyone think this song would get America to pick up the phone? Mind boggling. Delicious irony: the last line of the song was, "Just keep me where the light is." Ouch.

Second round for the guys: Lee closed out the show, and if DialIdol is to be believed, he was WAY more popular than any other guy Tuesday night. He was safe. So was Aaron Kelly. Against all odds, Alex Lambert turned in the best performance Tuesday, and he was safe. Good. But we still need to cut that mullet. That left Jermaine and Andrew. Last week this would have been a no-brainer, since Andrew was a front-runner going into semis. But he has been terrible two weeks in a row, and he needs to turn it around. However, Jermaine was not only terrible, but fucking obnoxious. And that combination proved deadly, and Jermaine was sent home. Oh, thank god. He was hands-down the most obnoxious contestant this season, possibly any season. Sticking to his irritating self, Jermaine didn't think that his smart mouth got him into trouble, and he babbled on about God, saying "In God there is no failure." Oh, Jermaine. You are the personification of failure. And then he inflicted that creepy lounge-lizard version of Marvin Gaye on the viewing audience again. Let's never speak of him again.

And then last year's third-place finisher, Danny Gokey, came on with his new song, "My Best Days Are Ahead of Me." The Gokey has lost a bunch of weight (I think he actually looked better with a bit of chunk). Gokey has apparently gone for a pop-country vibe with his post-show releases, which is fascinating to me. He never seemed like a country guy to me when he was on the show. I know he was into gospel, but country was not something I ever remember him expressing an interest in. And now I guess he's set to play the Grand Ole Opry. Weird. The song itself was fine, pretty generic, and weirdly it seemed like he was pushing his vocals throughout it - it just didn't sound like a natural fit for his voice. But it's his song. After he finished singing, Gokey explained the switch to country, which was precipitated by Randy Travis encouraging him to go that route. So it wasn't a sound he had a passion for, it's a sound he knew he could sell. I guess there's nothing more "American Idol" than that.

Time for the culling of the women. Lilly Scott did a weird version of "A Change Is Gonna Come," and while I love her, I liked her better last week; she was safe (I'm glad, DialIdol had her near the bottom). Paige Miles confuses me - she is apparently hugely popular and I don't understand why. She was safe. Katie did better this week than last, but she still isn't living up to the potential we saw in Hollywood. She was safe. That left Didi and Michelle, and of the two of the Didi performed the worst last night. But she was more heavily pimped, and Michelle was basically a nobody until semis. Kara recanted her support of Michelle last night, basically hanging her out to dry, and Michelle was the one who was cut. Really, I think that's wrong. Michelle wasn't the worst by a longshot. She was middle-of-the-pack. There have been several girls who have performed worse than her both weeks (certainly Lacey), and I think she just got lost in the mix. I'm not saying she should have made Top 12, but I don't think she should have gone home this week. Her sing-out was pretty bland, though.

Second round of girl cuts: Katelyn Epperly was a revelation to me last night, and she was safe. Crystal was totally charming with a little bit of sass back to Ryan; she was also amazing last night, and was also obviously safe. Siobhan is my wackadoo sweetheart of the season, and even though she was a mixed bag last night, she was safe. That left Haeley and Lacey, both of whom were deserving of being in the bottom. Of the two I would champion Haeley, even though she was worse this week. I just find Lacey terribly boring, and her vocals haven't been strong enough to save her. Simon called it "obvious" who was going home, and I have to assume he meant Lacey, but it was actually HAELEY!

Wow, did not see that coming. Several of the other girls - especially Katelyn, and Katie, although her tears seemed a bit forced to me - seemed really upset by Haeley's dismissal. But Haeley dealt with it so well; she really is a little ray of sunshine. Her farewell performance was seriously emotional. It was all over the place pitch-wise, but she was really connecting with the lyrics. Aw, poor thing.

Boy, this was a bad week for minority contestants!

Next week: we finish this three-night bullshit. Thank god.