I have a theory that in order for parents to preserve their mental stability, they possess a coping mechanism in their brains that erases bad memories. How many grandparents have boasted that their children were potty trained and reading Proust by age 1? They aren't sharing these false memories to make you feel like a bad parent. They merely have forgotten the agony of child rearing.

I myself recently experienced the benefit of this superpower. Having taken leave of my senses, I bought two floor lamps for my living room. I strategically placed them out of harm's way. As you may have guessed, harm eventually found its way to my lamps and CRASH, down went the first one. The lamp was not expensive and I did have another one, so I reprimanded, cleaned up, forgave and moved on.

One week later, the second lamp bought it. Again, I came flying down the stairs to see what I feared to be true. My two cherubs were standing around the victim with guilty looks. This time, I was not so forgiving. When I finished yelling nonsense in my attempt to raise the dead, my youngest looked at me and said: "Well why'd you put it there?"

I don't know what happened next. I was apoplectic with rage. My brain, sensing danger, summoned my amnesia response. When I came to, I was sweeping up glass with a pounding headache. My children were safely in their rooms, listening to a book on tape.

If I had to guess, I'd say even louder nonsensical screaming came out of my body as my head spun around on my neck, and my children ran away scared. What I'll tell my daughters-in-law is that my boys never rough-housed because they were too busy reading Proust.