Dear Kid,

A friend of mine was raving about your new song, "All Summer Long," the other day. I heard it, and now, well, I'm raving too. Kid, you were singing over the top of "Werewolves Of London" and "Sweet Home Alabama" -- not the riffs, but the actual records. What is this bullshit? I understand the current climate encourages sampling, lifting, borrowing, etc. These are nice ways of saying "ripping off." But  this isn't even a rip-off, it's a fucking copy!

At best this is lazy, and you certainly have the talent to create your own music. You are now in that enviable position to play music that immediately has an audience built out of the strength of your stardom. You've had the balls to roll with both gangsta rappers and redneck honky-tonkers. You've fucked Pam Anderson and bitch-slapped Tommy Lee, and the opening to your "Bawitdaba" video is the type of pure Russ Meyer grindhouse sleaze I love.

Yeah, listeners are lazy too, and they want to hear what they know. And I'm sure you've lost track of how many times some asshole has shouted out "Free Bird" at a show. But as an artist you just enable them, when you could be bringing them something new. It's been said that talent creates, genius steals --hell, this whole "letter to..." stuff is a blatant rip-off of Henry Rollins --  but leave the playing-someone-else's-record-while-you-talk-over-it-and-call-it-your-own-swindle to Kanye and the other whiz kids. If you must, rip off the blues like the rest of us.

Best,

Frank