Though there have been fits and starts along the way, Americans have, generally speaking, become more accepting of the gay community. Consider that homosexuality, until the 1970's, was viewed in the psychiatric world as a mental illness.

And there continue to be moments when our views about gender and sexual orientation are tested.

The sexual identity of children is still an evolving topic, and the boundaries of what's acceptable and what is intolerable are shifting.

"Two Families Grapple with Sons' Gender Preferences," a piece that NPR ran yesterday, is a compelling look at how two families are handling their sons' natural inclination to be feminine. These little boys, beginning at an early age, have seen themselves as little girls.

They preferred girls' toys, clothing, and liked makeup.

This was extremely difficult on their parents. Acknowledging their sons' gender preference was akin to coping with a diagnosis of autism.

They had difficulty communicating with their sons. They had difficulty understanding them.

And sadly, they even had difficulty loving them.

One boy is subjected to a more coercive therapy intended to help him accept his male gender. The other boy's therapy was intended to allow his gender to take its own course. His parents now refer to him as "she," though he has not undergone any surgical changes.

The anguish in this story is palpable. Both parents are desperately trying to do the right thing.

But in the process, they may instill a mental illness in their sons that wasn't there before.

Years from now, we may not give gender identity in children much thought.

It could be as benign as hair or eye color.

But your heart has to go out to the children, who are the first among us to travel down this road. Their experiences will help draw the boundaries of what's acceptable to the rest of us.