If you've never been to an East End Nightlife Fest, let me fill you in: there's lots of beer, tons of flesh, plenty of port-a-potties, and a slew of live (mostly cover) bands. Did I mention the booze? You can smell it in the air, and it usually ends up on the ground (though hopefully not on you). Your shoes will stick to the pavement, and you may find yourself wishing you'd avoided the roped-off streets and drunken hoards.

Then again, maybe I'm being too cynical. You've got three chances to find out for yourself: The East End Nightlife Fest happens once in June (Friday, June 6), once in July (Friday, July 11), and once in August (Friday, August 8). From 5 to 11 p.m. (and later, unofficially ‘til 2 a.m. within many area bars), it's prime people-watching, queue-forming, music-listening, and people-maneuvering time. You do a singular dance just to work your way through the crowd.

The festival has four street stages, and bands like the Atomic Swindlers and the Skycoasters have performed on them in the past. This year, you can also expect to see the Meddling Kids, Big Eyed Phish, the Taint, and Uncle Plum.

If you decide to duck into one of the bars - I'm thinking Salinger's here - expect it to be packed, sardine-style, three to four people deep. Ordering a drink (not to mention getting and paying for it) will probably take some time.

The food is street-meat style, and for my friend Kaila and I, that was most of the reason we went. We'd head to the fest straight from our downtown offices after 5 p.m., get our first mugs of beer, and proceed to get plastered. One night we ended up on the rooftop patio at Richmond's, where, over the last beers of the night, the summer felt like it'd somehow officially been kicked off.

The next day, I vowed never to attend another of these packed East End Fests. But then, come July, I found myself doing the same damn thing all over again...

The first East End Nightlife Fest of 2008 happens this Friday, 5-11 p.m. Expect to pay a fee to get in and to park, depending where you choose to put your car. (Save money, parking-space-finagling-time, and gas, by walking, riding a bike, carpooling, or taking a cab, if you can.)

The schedule:

East Ave/Gibbs Street Stage

6-8 p.m.: The Meddling Kids

8:30-11 p.m.: 50/50

Swan Street Stage

6-7:15 p.m.: JB and Company

7:45-9 p.m.: Kid Kurry

9:30-10:45 p.m.: Trailer Chair

East Ave/Matthews Street Stage

6-7:15: Streamline

7:30-8:45: More than Me

9-11 p.m.: Big Eyed Phish

High Fidelity Parking Lot Stage

6:30-9 p.m.: The Taint