"Two grounds, with the works, medium rare, on a hard roll," said the man standing next to me at the counter, the waitress nodding approvingly at his selections. Turning, she shouted something more or less incomprehensible to the grillman who added two more "ground round" patties to the parade of hots and rounds already marching their way across the flat-top range.

As the waitress pushed two burgers oozing with juice, hot sauce, onions, pickle relish, and mustard across the counter, I stared in dumb fascination, my own sadly unadorned cheeseburger nearly falling from my fingers ($3.40, or $3.75 with cheese). Why, I asked myself, didn't I think of that when the vat of hot sauce and bowls of mustard, onions, and relish were lined up right in front of me? Why didn't the waitress even tell me that it was possible? How had I lived in Rochester for almost seven years and not known that I was ordering my burgers the wrong way? Chagrined, I finished my burger, sucked down the last of my loganberry soda, and slunk out of Vic and Irv's, vowing to mend my ways.

Vic and Irv's has been around for a long time. Located between two other Rochester institutions - Bill Gray's and Don's Original - on "Hot Dog Row" in the Seabreeze area, it has the distinction of being the oldest surviving hot-dog stand in the neighborhood. While its neighbors have more retail outlets, and maybe even a bit more name recognition, Vic's has something that makes this unassuming brick building with its modest green-and-red neon sign a destination for people on their way to and from Seabreeze Amusement Park, or Marge's Lakeside Lounge across the way.

The restaurant was founded by Vic "Annis" Anuszkiewicz in 1934, starting out as a summer-only hot-dog stand like its neighbors. Annis was joined by his brother Irv in 1937, and the pair built the current restaurant and embraced year-round service in 1947. While Annis continued working at Vic's until he was 90 years old, the hot-dog stand that bears his name has changed hands several times over the years, revived in its current incarnation by Kevin Klee, whose brother owns Don's Original next door.

Given the close family relation between the two places, you might ask what sets Vic's apart from the competition. It's not the atmosphere. Spartan to the point of barrenness and furnished with ripped counter stools and more recently installed booths, the only decorations are faded collages of generations of Rochesterians who have stopped in at Vic and Irv's for a couple of hots, a ground round, or a plate. It is charming in its charmlessness.

The allure certainly doesn't come from the service. Brutally efficient, the servers are brusque and have little to no patience for people who don't know exactly what they want the moment their butts hit the stools. Ask for a few minutes to look at the menu, and you are likely to be treated to a suspicious look that says, "You aren't from around here, are you?" Regulars step up and order without hesitation, many don't even look at the menu. One guy I watched actually started placing his order before he was fully in the door. The waitress greeted him like an old friend.

No, what sets Vic and Irv's apart is the food. It may be only marginally different from any other hots and burgers joint in Rochester, but it is different, and the cachet of age gives it authority to say that this is the canonical hot sauce, and this is how a ground-round burger should be done. Vic and Irv's sets a pretty high bar for its competition and its imitators.

Vic and Irv's serves up a fine example of the standard "hot sauce" recipe, offering a sauce that's a little thicker than some, very finely ground, very meaty, and packing a good, spicy hot pepper and cinnamon punch. Ladle some on a burger and you end up with something wonderfully messy, more akin to a sloppy joe than a standard hamburger. The same sauce seems ready made to complement both white and red hots (Zweigle's only, of course, $2.65). As is common in our area, Vic and Irv's cooks split hots open and grills them flat, the released fat caramelizing on the meat and acting as a sweet foil to the spicy sauce they are smothered in. Salty, fatty, meaty, and sweet all in one delicious package. Who could find fault with that?

Vic and Irv's also deserves recognition for its fries and onion rings. Unlike other hots joints in the area, where crinkle cuts are standard issue, Vic's serves hand-cut fries cooked to order, brought out so hot that you'll be well into your burger before you can safely touch them, let alone bite into one. These aren't the crunchiest fries you'll ever encounter, but they have a deep-down potato-ey goodness that just says "beach" and "summer" even in the dead of winter ($2.65).

Vic and Irv's also prides itself on its onion rings, and I'm willing to agree that they are, on the whole, excellent. The rings are made with thick cuts of onion, battered with the same mixture that the restaurant uses on its fried fish on Fridays. What that means is that instead of the usual beer batter, these rings are dunked in a mix that contains both spices and cornmeal, adding interest to the coating and making it crisp up slightly better than regularly battered rings. Piping hot, the rings I had on my first visit were very tasty - until they started to cool off and it became apparent that the oil in which they had been fried was far from fresh. We didn't even finish the last several rings, put off by the rancid, bitter taste the oil developed as it cooled. I'm happy to report, though, that on a subsequent visit the rings were superb, even when I let them sit and totally cool before tucking in to them ($3.05).

There's one item at Vic and Irv's that you likely won't find on any other menu in our area: fried bologna with onions on a hard roll ($3). I ordered mine served with Swiss cheese, as my waitress suggested, and it was surprisingly good - deliciously greasy. In retrospect, though, I should have ordered it with the "works," just to see what hot sauce, mustard, onions, and relish might have added to the mix. But is there anything that hot sauce isn't good with?

To find Vic and Irv's in City Newspaper's online Restaurant Guide - including a map, user reviews, and more - click here.

Vic and Irv's

4880 Culver Road

544-7680, vicandirvrefreshments.com

Mon-Thu 11 a.m.-9.30 p.m.; Fri-Sat 11 a.m.-10 p.m.; Sun 11 a.m.-9 p.m.