Violence is never the answer
"[Name Redacted], because I want to meet her and punch her in her annoying mouth." (Best Radio Personality)
But the candy is FREE!
"Definitely not the one that has 'FREE CANDY' painted on the side." (Best Food Truck/Cart)
"Maggie Brooks. I like to wink at her when I see her at Wegmans, creep her out a bit." (Best Politician)
And yet, somehow the zoo didn't make Final 4...
"Seneca Park Zoo, that way you can always ditch them for the animals"; (Best Place for a Date)
Sociology at work
"The evolution of harassment techniques in front of the Sibley building." (Best Project in Progress)
What's in a name?
"Frank B. Lettuce"; "Lettuce B....something. It's parked outside the Strong Hospital most days and has fresh stuff. Really good." (Best Food Truck/Cart)
What's in a name, Part 2
"Pamela Bread"; "Miss En Place"; "Magmolia's" (Best Sandwich)
What's in a name, Part 3
"Simply Creeps"; "Jackie Browns" (Best Breakfast Spot)
What's in a name, Part 4
"Crap Shack" (Best Seafood)
What's in a name, Part 5
"The Owl's House"; "The Owl Shop"; "The Owl's Nest"; "Ow House" (Best Vegetarian Restaurant)
What's in a name, Part 6
"Craft Company Number 9"; "Jet batt" (Best Gift Shop)
The anticipation is killing us
"My sister's giant foil ball." (Best Project in Progress)
Well, it got your attention
"2 bears having sex... that is what they are doing right?"; "69ing bears mural :)"; "69ing Rats"; "Copulating Rats"; "The fornicating bear mural by the Metro Center"; "Wall Therapy (except the rats fucking)"; "Def not the two rats 69ing." (Best Outdoor Art)
An alternative definition of "comfort"
"The dumpster behind my neighbor's house." (Best Comfort Food)
Shouldn't that be under "comfort food"?
"That guy selling bologna out of a shopping cart over there." (Best Food Truck/Cart)
"Black Cock Winery" (Best Regional Winery)
She's just not that into you
"I went to the Owl House once, and the waitress was totally hitting on me. She was really cute. I tipped well and left my number, so why didn't you call me? What did I do wrong?" (Best Waitstaff)
You'll have to be more specific
"The one with the nice old hippie." (Best Piercing Parlor)
You'll have to be more specific, Part 2
"The one I threw up in." (Best Regional Winery)
You'll need to be more specific, Part 3
"Guy who went to Cornell"; "The cute Jewish one on R News"; "YNN guy with glasses" (Best TV Weatherperson)
Sure, but then everyone loses
"Can I vote for Kevin Williams' ties?" (Best TV Weatherperson)
Make sure to ask for Gus!
"Los Pollos Hermanos" (Best Mexican)
Submit to the mothership
"I tried to think of something other than 'Wegmans in Pittsford,' but dammit you just have to." (Best Place To Take An Out-of-Towner)
You said it, not us
"Every restaurant has terrible service. Why is this? Am I just a bitch?" (Best Waitstaff)
That'd be Francois Raoult
"Dat French Dude"; "The one who used to nuzzle a shell on the back of City." (Best Yoga Instructor)
Have you been to Village Gate lately?
"The giant pecker across from Bolder Coffee. I laugh at it every time I see it." (Best Outdoor Art)
We can't make this stuff up
"I saw a duck"; "My charity horseshoe tournament. It was awesome!"; "Rabid squirrel infestations in Fairport"; "Man lies topless, face down in dirt for weeks in attempt to grow nipple tree." (Best Local News Story Ignored in 2012)
"In my loving arms (unless there's a restraining order)." (Best Place for a Date)
"Woody's was so hot the place burned down!" (Best Sports Bar)
"Behind CVS, next to Gates Bowl." (Best New Restaurant)
"Garden Fresh CD Release, which resulted in numerous bags of salsa and chips being sent from Garden Fresh Salsa in Ferndale, MI." (Best Local News Story of 2012)
"Interview of my wife and daughter on how the Olympics inspired them." (Best Local News Story of 2012)
"Look at those rat-bears! What the heck are they doing up on that wall? Let's get angry about it!" (Best Local News Story of 2012)
It could happen!
"After winning City Newspaper's 'Best Local News Story of 2012' Award, school monitor Karen Klein is knocked unconscious from a soccer ball kicked by Abby Wambach." (Best Local News Story Ignored in 2012)
Help a non-hipster out.
"I am not telling, fuckin' hipsters!" (Bets Secondhand/Thrift Store)
No, but the one that sounds like Miss Piggy's still got it
"Is that guy that sounds like Kermit the Frog still on WBER? If so, him." (Best Radio Personality)
"My grandma's house, as long as you don't mind answering questions about why you haven't gotten married yet." (Best Italian)
Fun with spelling
Jaramiahs/Jaramyas/Jaremihas/Jerahmihas/Jeramiahas/Jerimias/Jeramias/Jeremias/Jereminiah/Jeremoahs/Jerhimias/Jeriimiahs/Jerimahas/Jerimahs/Jerimaihas/Jerimiah/Jerimiahs/Jerimias/Jerimihas/Jermiahs/Jerremiahs/Jerrimiahs (Best Wings)
Fun with spelling, Part 2
Pointuine/Pontine/Pooteen/Pootine/Potine/Poulin/Pouteen/Poutienne/Puiteene/Puntine/Putein/Putien (Best Food Truck/Cart)
"Barrel of Dolls" (2 votes); "Show World" (3 votes); various bridge underpasses (3 votes) (Bets Place for a Date)
City Newspaper Features Editor Eric Rezsnyak concurs:
"No one now is better than the old Park Ave Deli." (Best Sandwich)
Doesn't everyone win when waffles are involved?
"Owl House! Randal wins at waffles!!!!!!!!" (Best Breakfast Spot)
This is probably some kind of filthy reference, but we don't get it
"Lyell Video" (Best Seafood)
"Anyplace with gumball machines." (Best Jewelry Store)
Fancy, Part 2
"The bottom of that fountain in Manhattan Square Park." (Best Jewelry Store)
That's one interpretation...
"Bus monitor collects $700K off of poor job performance." (Best Local News Story of 2012)
It's now located at 1199 E. Main St. You're welcome.
"WHERE DID UTTER CLUTTER GO?" (Best Consignment Shop)
"Food trucks are the best example of American brainwashing since the cupcake fad." (Best Food Truck/Cart)
Sir, Steve Winwood himself could use that job!
"Me in the shower. I sing Steve Winwood like it's my job!" (Best Cover Band)
Ain't nothing but a number
"1180. Yes, I'm getting older." (Best Radio Station)
Still the best business name in town
"Should be Enright's Thirst Parlor." (Best Place for an Upscale Night Out)
We'd recommend against it
"My basement. There are no windows down there." (Best Place to Take An Out-of-Towner)
No. 1 fans
"Don Alhart is Rochester's Grandfather. Anyone who feels otherwise hates Rochester and their family"; "Gabe Dalmath (I know, but I'm old and he was the best)" (Best TV News Reporter)
"That awesome parking lot across from the police station. Oh wait. Not at all." (Best Live Music Venue)
Paging Timothy Leary
"My friend takes a lot of acid, I'll be he sees some." (Best Local Visionary)
So many hot-dog vendors...
"Jizz Fest" (Best Festival)