"There are 13 Tuesdays left between now and the end of the year," the September 29 statement from the Guns N' Roses' camp mysteriously observed, perhaps alluding to an imminent release for the long-promised Chinese Democracy CD --- or just dispelling the rumor that W. Axl Rose can't count past 10. But with the Tuesday tally now down to three, it's looking as though there will be actual democracy in China before this possibly mythical (both definitions intended) recording hits stores.
In a faux review of Chinese Democracy that coincided with April Fool's Day 2006, former Spin-ster Chuck Klosterman pointed out that if you brought home a kitten the day the last G'n'R recordings came out in 1991, your cat baby would likely be dead by now. But Rose has been notoriously busy in the interval, playing as many tour dates as he cancels, dodging the flying fists of Tommy Hilfiger, and chomping on a Swedish security guard's undoubtedly delicious leg. And while I'd hate to rush anybody's art, a G'n'R record has been mentioned as a possibility since 1996, and it's been titled since the end of the previous century. So with a budget hovering at around $13 million, is Chinese Democracy the priciest trainwreck in the history of rock, or is it irrefutable evidence of the mad genius of Mr. Rose? More importantly, does anyone still care?
Yes, yes, and obviously. Though this is an obscene amount of money and time to devote to anything that doesn't involve the preservation of human life, the details emerging about the Chinese Democracy sessions are fascinating. G'n'R now consisting of former members of Nine Inch Nails, Replacements, and Psychedelic Furs? Queen's Brian May contributing guitar? Shaquille O'Neal rapping? $13 million could buy a few more Tuesdays.