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How Simon created God 

God did not exist, so Simon decided to create him. Basing it on the earlier model, his first design was erected purely out of ideas. The A Model was an omniscient multi-tasker. However, Simon's inability to comprehend the motives of its parallel processing skills stalled the project at the design phase. Dismayed but not deterred, A was scrapped. Work continued. On a liquid clear autumn day, while Simon was raking leaves in his front yard, it hit him. Ideas, though suitably malleable, will never suffice. The new God must also be tangible. Spontaneous by nature, Simon began gathering leaves, twigs from the Ash tree, a molding base of thick mud: natural and tangible, that was the game. This prototype was successful but ultimately decayed too fast to gain the following necessary to launch it as a deity. Failure number two. The grant money dried up. Simon became depressed; indulged in a long repressed shoe fetish. He smoked White Owls and drank soda. Cried incessantly into yellow tissues. His wife, a good-hearted person, suggested a female-based model. Simon snorted. His 9-year-old daughter, a scrappy doll, suggested a video game. Simon moved out. He took a room at the Super 8, morosely carrying on his research. Strangely enough it was autumn again that finally inspired Simon to create Model C. Not the land necessarily, but the colors. The green grass. Red berries. Black squirrels. Retreat of chlorophyll. Slate sky. The fiery genesis of it all right there before him...

Once started, Simon created God in less than a week.

Critics agree it is his best work yet.

In interviews he tells them with a wink that the key was the key was the key...

But only God knows the truth.

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